According to Statistics Canada there are the same number of single men to single women in Ottawa. So, why is it so hard to date in freaking Ottawa? It doesn’t matter whether you’re a man or a woman, gay or straight, it can be hard to find that first date. We won’t even mention getting to the second or third date!
Here are 5 reasons why we think it’s so freaking hard to date in Ottawa.
1. Family destination.
Ottawa is the site of our nation’s capital. That means that many people work in the government. People think that Ottawa has a stuffy but professional air about it. Ottawa is perhaps seen as a family destination. Let’s just say that when you think party atmosphere or hot patio date, Vancouver or Montreal come up first.
2. Lack of sexuality.
Montreal is hot, Quebec City is hot, but somehow, Ottawa has a lack of sexuality about it. If you ask your friends if you can hang out with them, chances are that you’ll be hanging out with their families too. Do you even know of any good strip bars in Ottawa? Or, even a singles bar for that matter? Ottawa not only has a lack of sexuality, but even the people are formal and cold.
3. Political correctness.
There’s a line between being friendly and being inappropriate, but some people don’t understand the difference. Instead of saying hi to attractive people on the street, or handing out their business cards, they maintain an air of “I don’t care”. Instead of risking that they may get smacked down, they don’t engage with the opposite sex. And heaven forbid you should actually ask your coworker on a date!
4. Unrealistic ideals.
Sadly, the same problems plaguing our parents back in the 80s are still plaguing millennials. Men want perfection in a woman, even when they’re imperfect in themselves. But this is also applicable to women too: they also want perfection and a rich man. But if you take a peek down any busy Ottawa street, no one is perfect, even that woman with all the kids, who was obviously successful in finding a mate.
5. Lack of self-esteem.
Many singles in Ottawa aren’t even on the dating market because they feel they are imperfect. They feel overweight, or, perhaps their hair isn’t perfect, or they can’t do their makeup right. Perhaps they have low-paying jobs and think they’ll be rejected for that. This can go in the other direction too. A person with a six-figure paying job may not be on the market as they’re afraid they’ll be the target of scammers rather than finding a genuine person to love.
Once we have a solid understanding of why dating is so freaking hard in Ottawa then we can work at getting out of the rut. Perhaps you need to reevaluate who you’re looking for, and give yourself a boost of confidence by doing something that you really enjoy, rather than doing what others expect of you.
Washington has a good reputation, but perhaps not for the dating world. When you think singles in Washington, you may think of the older divorced generation who is overweight and balding. But no matter what your age, how do you find fun and exciting singles? It can be difficult dating in Washington when you meet people who are over-educated, and they have the attitude to prove it.
Here are a few tips to help you achieve successful dating in Washington.
1. Get past the show.
People like to be smug and put on a show. You need to get past their public image to display their true personality. Maintain your cool and be polite and friendly. You can get past that veneer. Soon, they’ll be opening up and confiding to you.
2. Wear some color.
People in Washington tend to wear what we’d call the “uniform”. Even t-shirts and casual clothes are bland and boring. Don’t be afraid to wear the dragon pin or the handmade beaded jewelry. Wear something bright and colourful. This will make people stop and think—perhaps you’re an individual who is worth knowing!
3. Get fit.
If you’re used to heading for home after work, then crashing on the couch to watch Netflix, chances are that you’re not going to be meeting many people. Borrow your neighbor’s dog and head out for a walk. Washington is a highly walkable city. Explore its local parks. Strike up a chat with other walkers, runners, or bicyclists. People will be friendlier and not have that 9-5 air about them.
4. Find a good bar.
Drinking loosens up even the stuffiest person. It may even help you to cure your shyness, at least for one night. Don’t focus on the cute guys, talk to everyone. Remember that someone you know may know someone who would make a perfect date for you! Take a friend if you don’t want to go to a bar alone. Choose a trendy but reputable bar.
5. Avoid political opinions.
Nothing will separate two people faster than conflicting political opinions. Make it a point to tell your potential or future dates that you can not and will not discuss politics during your dates. If your date reveals something that makes you cringe, just smile, and make a note not to go on another date with them at a future point.
6. Focus on commitment.
People in Washington, DC aren’t afraid of commitment. They have great jobs, they have a no-nonsense approach to which political party they support, and they usually have lofty goals. Think about what your goals on and don’t be afraid to share them. You may just find a love who also shares your same goals.
If you want to find dates in Washington, or even a special love, you’re going to have to treat it like a full-time job. The more work you spend on finding dates, the greater the chances of meeting someone so awesome that you’ll want to spend a lot of time with them!
It may not have been what you intended, but you’re single and you love your kids. Some women go it alone, while others want to find a partner to share their lives together. You may have discovered how it’s twice as hard finding dates when you’re a single mom than if you had no kids at all. But don’t lie about having the kids as you don’t want your fabulous dates to lie to you!
Here are 5 things to remember when you are a single mom and dating today.
1. You’re proud of your accomplishments.
Don’t let anyone tell you that your life doesn’t matter because you chose a different route. Being a mom is amazing, and is quite an achievement. If you’ve managed to do it all alone, be proud and confident that you’ve done it all by yourself.
2. Practice safety.
While it’s fine to mention that you have kids, or post that info on your dating site profile, you should avoid saying too much about them. This includes their names, the schools they attend, your home address, and your phone number (if you met through a dating app.) Safety should always come first when dating. Always meet dates in busy public locations. Ensure that no one follows you home.
3. Your kids come first.
If you’re dating a guy (or gal) who doesn’t like kids, then why are you with them? Your kids come first, period. If you decide you want someone else in the picture, it must be someone who’s fun, safe (not abusive), and supportive.
4. Commitment next.
While you want to be honest with your kids about getting back to dating again, you don’t want to introduce every single date to them. This sends the wrong message. Your dates should NOT be meeting your kids in the early weeks. The only time your date should be meeting the kids is when you’ve both decided you like each other, love is the answer, and that you both want to commit for the future. At this point, it’s fine to let your kids know they may have a new dad. Then everyone can meet. Of course, it may not work out, and you have to start over. But your kids are first and you want them to know that you won’t just bring home any guy off the street.
5. Take a break.
After dating for a while you may decide that you’re tired of it. It’s okay to take a break. Perhaps you can ask friends for advice. No one is perfect and it can be simple to get into the same rut again and again, or date the same types of guys who aren’t right for you.
Remember to stay focussed and always remember that you want not only a companion for life, but a loving father for your children. There is someone out there who is perfect for you—you just have to spend the time to find them!
Almost all women have dated bad boys at some point in their lives. Dating bad boys may be natural when you’re a younger woman, but do you really want to continue doing that as you get older? A bad boy can be defined as a guy who won’t commit, who has multiple partners, has to borrow money from you (that he never repays), and who may be verbally or physically abusive. While some of this behaviour you can tolerate when you’re younger, once you’re past the age of 25 you should be seeking some good men.
So, how to focus on dating only good men and toss the losers to the side?
1. Stop picking up guys in clubs.
It’s okay to go out with the girls to the local bar for drinks, but not okay to ignore them while you hit on guys. Focus on your friends instead. Find better locations to pick up guys, such as the local museum or grocery store.
2. Focus on the nice ones.
Just how do you know a guy isn’t a jerk? When he looks you in the eyes and smiles! This is the guy who listens when you speak and doesn’t cut you off or ignore you. This is the guy who automatically offers to pay when you’re at the restaurant or movie theatre (without excuses). He’s the guy who always remembers every occasion, even bringing you Easter or Fourth of July gifts.
3. Clear your contacts.
When you’re lonely it can be tempting to call that guy who lives down the alley. Instead, go through your contacts and delete all the bad boys. If you have a physical address book, rip those contacts out of your book too. Delete their email addresses and toss or delete any photographs you have of them. Go as far as to block their phone numbers.
4. Feelings are temporary.
Do you remember your first love? You may even know him today. You’ve realized that your feelings didn’t match up with his feelings, and you feel stupid about it now. Even better, he’s still a jerk today and you’re glad that you’re no longer with him. Remember that feelings for someone can be temporary. What you’re seeking is your one true love, with someone who also shares those same feelings right back.
5. Focus on what you really want.
If you want to meet a nice guy, settle down, and have kids, then make that’s your main focus. You can’t change the bad guys. They’ll be on the hunt for the next woman. Why waste your time? If you must, write down your feelings and goals in a journal. Or, make a big poster that says you want to be married by age X and post it on your fridge!
If you want to stop dating bad boys, then it ends with you. It’s up to you to correct your behaviour and focus on being an adult. Now that you’ve refocussed your goals, you can truly find an amazing partner!
If you live in a big city then chances are that there is a diverse range of people to meet. If you’re willing to date men or women who are outside of your race, then you’ve just increased your odds of finding your one true love! Not only is dating interracially fun and exciting, but it also opens up an entirely new world to you!
Having a successful interracial relationship can be a bit more difficult than your average white with white relationship. Here a few tips for success.
1. Put aside your prejudices.
If you’ve had prejudices in the past, you need to file them into that shoebox in that corner of your mind that you’ll never revisit. It’s unacceptable to say racist comments to anyone. While jokes may be fun, find something else to joke about instead.
2. Express an interest in their culture.
If you’re simply going on dates and not asking your date about their culture, this displays a lack of interest. Your date will not want to go out with you again. It’s fine to be curious about certain religious practices or celebrations. Be respectful with your questions.
3. Ask if you can participate.
Your date may have Ramadan, Kwanzaa, or Hanukah coming up. Ask how you can participate too. This shows that you’re interested in their culture and respect it. They may not have thought of including you if you’re of a differing religion, but many celebrations are for everyone, regardless of religion. For example, if you’re not Catholic, they can let you know that you can simply accept a blessing, rather than accepting communion at church by tilting your head down.
4. Communicate effectively.
It’s important to talk things out and communicate effectively. If you’re living together, let them know that you still want that Christmas tree up. If they’re Muslim, they may wish to fast during the day. Let each other know what your expectations are, so that no feelings are hurt, and no one is disappointed.
5. Chat with the parents.
At some point, you’re going to need to meet each other’s parents. Instead of thrusting yourself in front of them, ensure that you each have a chat with your respective parents about how you’re in an interracial relationship. Most parents don’t care as they love their children and will support them no matter what. Some parents may be a bit resistant, particularly if their kids are engaged to someone from a different religion. In these cases, take your time. Don’t rush for introductions. Suggest you have a short meeting first. Eventually, most parents soon understand how much you love your partner, and the other things don’t really matter so much. Always stay respectful, and answer any questions so they can work through their objections.
It may take a bit of extra effort at having an interracial relationship, but these types can also be the most successful. Not only is your partner exotic and attractive to you, but they’re already willing to put in the effort to make love happen!