Why do we date who we date? Why are we attracted to some people and not others? For all of us dating is about attraction, interest and personal preferences. It may be a preference for a certain hair color, body type or personality trait. It is most likely a combination of any number of things. But why do some black women only date white men?
One of the most fundamental reasons of course is attraction. Some black women are simply more attracted to white men than men of other ethnicities. Black men may not be their type. Interracial dating is certainly not an issue for these women, or the men they date. Some black women find white men irresistibly sexy. White men have different eye colors and different hair colors. With all of these different combinations, it’s easy to find one or more of them attractive. Black women dating white men and white men dating black women is completely normal and quite common today. And it is easy for white men to meet black women on a regular basis.
Some black women feel that white men find a black woman to be more exotic, remarkable or intriguing. These women gravitate towards these affections of feeling unique and special. Black women love that white men are attracted to their skin tone, hair texture or exotic looks. The characteristics of black women are new to many white men and black women like showing off their special traits, teaching their man about their unique qualities and being appreciated for them.
Many black women find dating a white man to be a different experience than dating men of other races, and they enjoy those differences. White men tend to be more polite and chivalrous. They open the car door, pull out the chair, pay for dinner, or just make a special call to say “I had a good time last night.” White men also tend to be more sensitive to feelings and concerned about offending a woman of another race. This makes a black woman feel even more respected and loved.
Many white men are fiscally responsible, holding a steady job with a good income. Valuing financial responsibility does not mean a black woman is expecting lavish gifts, but at least she knows her boyfriend can show her a good time. Plus, being responsible with finances is an excellent trait to have in a lifelong partner and mate.
General trends in our current society show that white men tend to be more family oriented and are more likely to be planning on settling down and starting a family. This is not the case for a majority of black men who prefer to lead a more independent lifestyle. White men are more likely to have been raised in a two-parent household and therefore tend to gravitate toward desiring that style of nuclear family for themselves. This future is attractive to many black women.
Local and regional demographics may be a contributing factor as well. In some locations there is simply a shortage of eligible black men available. In a more general sense, interracial dating is becoming more and more popular. Singles of all nationalities are dating people of other races. Of all ethnicities, black women are especially interested in dating outside their race. Of all ethnicities, white men are the most sought after as an interracial dating partner. Therefore, it is serendipitous that black women are dating more white men.
Whatever our personal preferences and attractions are, successful dating really boils down to finding love and building a solid foundation for a long term relationship with someone you are compatible with. Attraction is certainly a key component to a great relationship, but it is not the only one and by itself does not guarantee long term success.
Every single person on Earth has preferences regarding dating. Some prefer dating taller individuals, while some prefer shorter partners. Others enjoy a toned and muscular physique, while a separate set of individuals actually appreciate a thin frame. While daters today may not explicitly look for the embodiment of their own preferences in potential partners, the effects of these choices are often apparent at the subconscious level; partners who boast the preferred appearance have a greater chance of being dated for longer.
Separately from this type of preference, some individuals will come right out and voice their desire or fondness for a particular type of partner; commonly found under this description (and the last, to a smaller extent) are white women who are more attracted to black men than men of other races.
While perfectly acceptable, this preference does raise a bit of intrigue in the minds many onlookers—what makes white women prefer to date black men outright? Moreover, what causes this thought process—a decision based upon the memories and experiences of the past, or a set of unchangeable preference-deciding lines of DNA?
A little bit of both, in fact. Some white women are more attracted to black men based upon personal experiences. Perhaps they had a black friend as a child who was so kind that a perpetual interest in other black individuals was created—to regain this highly valued friendship. Or, perhaps a black man was dated early on in a dating career—through coincidence—and left a lasting and positive impression.
Separate from this attraction based upon one’s past experiences, some white women are simply physically attracted to black men (hence the DNA reasoning). An impressive physique may simply leave some women interested.
Moreover, this impressive physique—in coordination with a positive dating or interaction experience—can lead to a lifetime of attraction. It’s hard to say what each woman who is more attracted to black men thinks and feels, but this provides an accurate estimation. Needless to say, this sensation is one that is very interesting. Regardless of a specific woman’s preference origins, the reality is that these—and any other—preferences lead to a great deal of happy and long-lasting relationships; that truly is what’s important. Whether it’s interracial dating or a relationship between individuals of the same race, the connection is all that matters.
If one has found him or herself reading this piece due to an admitted dating-race preference, a good place to start looking for companionship is through an interracial dating site. Easy-to-use and effective, these sorts of sites will provide the best sample of a wide variety of races and ethnicities, resulting in more connections and relationships for users.
Enjoy the dating scene, and don’t be afraid to voice your preferences; once an undesirable relationship is started, it takes quite a bit of work to break-off! Moreover, it’s important to understand that mean, careless and rude individuals who aren’t fit for a relationship exist in every race, so it’s important to be both selective and constantly verifying partners’ character and morals. Good luck dating!
As is always the case with sensitive topics—particularly those regarding or related to race—a certain level of awareness and respect must be maintained. An open mind will avoid offending the involved parties (or entire races), and make one more perceptible to true facts or theories. At the same time, many will tow fences, without utilizing straightforward dialogue, when discussing sensitive, race-related topics. Both ineffective and useless, this type of thinking or speaking will likely result in a limited amount of reliable data and accurate conclusions.
A great example of a race-related dilemma is the obviously limited number of romantic relationships between Black men and Asian women—specifically in comparison to the number of relationships between White men and Asian women. The reasoning behind this interesting situation can be best explained in dual components—the long-term and short-term reasoning. But first, let’s take a look at some incorrect (and frankly ridiculous) theories as to why Black men have such a comparatively hard time dating Asian women. There isn’t a secret, under-the-radar rivalry between Black and Asian individuals, as some actually suggest! There also isn’t an internal conspiracy between the nations which house mainly Asian and Black individuals (most countries found in Africa and Asia, that is), as some other, entirely inaccurate individuals suggest. The true dating dilemma between Black men and Asian women is much more literal and direct—in both the short and long term.
The first component of these interracial dating difficulties is one which was established naturally, by geographic boundaries. Traditionally, the (generally) airtight immigration policies of Asia, coupled with the consistent flow (in recent, twentieth-century times) of African professionals who have left the continent for Europe or America, have left a generally large interaction gap between the two races. Further back from the twentieth century, during the horrific slavery years, black individuals weren’t generally dated freely by any different-raced individuals, and Asia had just started to interact freely with the United States (and other countries, largely); few citizens left Asia, and few foreigners took residence there.
The short-term effects of this long-term separation—however inadvertent—can be seen today through both statistics and practice. Populations in large Asian countries are mainly composed of ethnic Asians— Japan’s population is 98.5% Ethnic Japanese, China’s population is 91.51% Hans Chinese (with other, Asian ethnic groups composing much of the rest of the population), and South Korea’s population is very largely Korean as well. The same can largely be said for African countries, where the majority of individuals born in a country on the continent will live there forever, or move to a more-developed hub—somewhere in Europe or the United States—as many Asian individuals also do.
The significance of the above data goes a long way in explaining the dating dilemma between Black men and Asian women, in several ways. First, there aren’t a large number of Asians traveling to Africa, and Africans traveling to Asia; those who do leave their home countries are often economically inclined, and therefore bound for economic powerhouses like the United States, Canada, or one of several European countries. This creates a situation where Black men are likely to become romantically involved with a woman of a different race than Asian, and vice-versa; not meeting in countries where there are an abundance of Asian or Black individuals increases the chances of Black men and Asian women finding someone of a different race to date, frankly, before finding one another.
Furthermore, the long-term effects of the generally isolated (or unable to socialize) Asian and Black history may create some hesitation from each side in approaching someone of the specified other race. To be clear, this isn’t discrimination of any kind, but rather an unavoidable uncomfortableness. The two races are historically (and comparatively) unfamiliar with each other in an immediate sense, and this nervousness can be seen today, through the dating and marriage statistics. While not debilitating, becoming romantically involved with someone is intimidating enough, for most; the added pressure of appealing to an individual of a race that is traditionally unfamiliar will likely make these individuals turn to races which they are more comfortable with—their own, or white men (as both Asians and Blacks have positive and intimate experience with Whites).
As one can see, the actual reasoning behind the relative lack of Black men dating Asian women isn’t hate or discrimination-based, but rather comfort-based. The two races haven’t had a large amount of one-on-one experience with one another, and this lack of experience—along with their racially populated meeting grounds (once again, most Asians won’t travel to Africa, and vice-versa), makes it much easier and probable for Asian women to date white men, and Black men to date women of a race other than Asian.
With that said, the constant globalization of today’s society, as well as its more diverse emigration, appears to be causing individuals to change this tide. While it might be hard for Black men and Asian women to “hit-it-off”, it’s important to remember that they’re making up for lost time!