This is a statement you would often hear in love stories, romantic movies etc., but did you know that there is one type of relationship that is literally living with this idea every day of their waking lives? Let us understand what it really means to love when you are above the simple relationship shortcomings and are dealing with something greater, like – a racial difference.
Interracial dating or interracial romance in layman’s term is to date a person who has a difference in race.
Normally, when others see two people in a relationship, both with difference race, they would have different reactions and of course – questions. These couples now sometimes feel that they must explain and justify their choices to everyone who asks. This is one of the things they deal with everyday and so much more – which then shows how these couples love unconditionally as they do their best to overcome these.
Here are 5 things that prove there is unconditional love between interracial dating. Let’s learn a thing or two.
1. Differences help people grow. There are differences in all relationships and all couples would have to deal with this. Interracial relationships deal more than just the simple differences, as theirs would be more on differences in belief, religion, culture, and traditions.
- 2. Handling family and friend judgment as a couple. The questions and judgment with family and friends happen on both sides. Couples would then need to stand their ground and explain most of the times why they have made the choice to date a person with a different race.
- 3. The term “Communication” means different. People always say that communication is always the key to a long and lasting relationship – but how can you do it if you both have different languages? The difference in language adds up to the difficulty in expressing a couples’ feeling for one another. Knowing this struggle, they still find ways to make each other feel loved and cared for.
- 4. Distance doesn’t matter. There are instances that couples are living away from each other while in the relationship. They, then, need to deal with being able to make the other person feel their presence amidst the difference in location and sometimes even difference in time.
- 5. The relationship “does” go to the next level. If they are able to overcome the things mentioned above, couples would then move on the next best thing – getting married – and yes, they do really get married and live their lives like any other normal couple.
These things mentioned are not easy but if a couple loves each other unconditionally, they will be able to overcome these things and continue living their lives happily and with so much love.
No matter how hard we try, race will always be an influential factor in the way we live and interact with other people. There is one human quality that enables us to ignore the effects of race; love. Falling in love with an interracial partner entails ignoring phrases and words such as interracial mingle races, racial, multiracial, etc. So when you choose to exclude all these from your conversations, what else is left to talk about? Let’s look at some great things you can talk about when you are on a date with your interracial partner.
People come from different backgrounds and cultures. This also means that we eat different kinds of food. Food has got nothing to do with race, unless you can find a factual link to then. So, talking about food will create a good platform for you and your partner to learn a little about each other.
Another great topic to bring along on a date is clothing. There are clothes that are specific to different races. However, that is closely linked to heritage than race. There are no clothes made for black or white people, are there? So, talking about clothes should enable the two of you to learn more about each other’s heritage than race.
This topic might be a bit on inappropriate on your first date. But it should be put on the table as time goes by, mostly to avoid “culture shock”. So if your relationship is becoming serious and more solid, you have to talk about culture. For instance, marriage and unity differs from one culture to the other. Some people slaughter a cow to unite two or more families through marriage, others contribute money and gifts. So you will have to establish how to intertwine the two cultures, to ensure that every part is covered. Let it be clear also that even culture has got nothing to do with race.
People always try to link everything with race to encourage some sort of separation or discrimination. But there is never a clear link to race, only manmade theories. Race has no specific value to it, unless when it is used for statistical purposes.
Now that you know what to talk about when you are on a date, how about sharing these wonderful topics with other interracial couples? By doing so, you will not only give them a reason to gain confidence in their unity but also help people fight against racial separations or discrimination.
To be honest, I was a bit skeptical when I first heard of the Interracial matchmaker. But I was surprised to how well it worked for me when I finally decided to try it out. To begin with, I live in New York. I am a lawyer in one of the big firms around. As such I have a very busy schedule. I am in the office very early in the morning and usually leave very late at night. Yes, that's what being a lawyer means. Solving cases is all I do, day in day out. It's so time-consuming that I rarely get time to interact with women. As a result, I was single for a very long time.
However, this was all about to change.
My friend Jim, who is an African American, told me about Interracial matchmaker. It is this online site where you can date people from other races. Being an open minded kind of guy, I decided to try it out. I am a white guy, but I have always wanted to date a black lady. I have always found them interesting and sexy. So, I went online and set up my profile, after a few days I got a date with a black lady who liked my profile and had the same interests as me in life. We decided to go for a date the following weekend. I was super excited, I just couldn't wait to meet her.
We met in a fancy hotel in New York. She was a slender, dark lady with curves befitting a queen. Her smile revealed a white set of teeth, I smiled back, I couldn't hide my joy anymore. She told me her name was Christy and worked as a nurse in one of the local hospitals. We got to know each other while we had dinner; soft and romantic music was playing in the background. The atmosphere was electric, I felt a spark grow in my heart. I had never felt this before. I was falling in love with Christy. I found everything in her to be exotic, her culture, background, and behavior were all so unique and exceptional.
I was fascinated by her. I had a lot to learn from her. She enabled me to see life from her perspective and experience a new culture. That evening was one of the most exciting evenings that I have had for a long time. We had so much fun and enjoyed each others company that we decided to date. To be honest, I think interracial dating is one of the best things that everyone should try out.
Interracial dating has been around for a long
time. The union between two people of different backgrounds while not too
visible at times have always existed. Like normal relationships they come with
their quirks and hardships made more intense by different ethnic backgrounds,
that’s why it’s important to know how to keep address such relationships and
how to deal the inner workings of them so they don’t turn toxic.
To keep an interracial relationship healthy you
need be open minded and shed any type of prejudice you might have, in this time
in the day while race relationships are years better than 50 years ago, there’s
still, a lot prejudice views and discrimination against people of color so you
have to keep in mind these things before jumping into a relationship with a
person of another race, they aren’t going to have the same experiences as you
and they are going to view the world in a different way if your answer is to
act defensive about it then it’s not going to work, you have to keep your mind
open and talk about your differences.
While you have to keep in mind the background
and societal differences you need to remind yourself that you are dating an
individual and not a whole race or ethnicity. You can be aware your differences
without having too much emphasis on the cultural background, after all you are
dating a person and not a group of people. As long as you remember that then
it’s going to be fine.
It goes without saying if you are a fetishist
then things will definitely not work out, people of color are not your little
experiment and a gateway to your fantasies. These types of feelings always let
themselves come to the surface and will end any interracial romance before it
Lastly, don’t keep it a secret. It’s not fun or
adventurous; if you can’t be public and straight with your relationship then
it’s not worth it. Many relationships fail because one partner doesn’t want to
share their partner with family and friends, if that’s going to be a problem
then you have to address it and if your family it’s going to have a problem
with you dating a person of another race then it needs to be addressed as
If you keep communication open then the
relationship will be much more healthy from the get-go. A couple that can’t
discuss differences in an open manner isn’t meant to last so make sure you
always keep your mind open and your communication in a good place.
There are things you should never say to someone in an interracial relationship, they include:
- 1. " What did your parents say about the relationship?"
Our parents being older and at times viewed as old school does not necessarily mean that they disapprove mixed race couples. This sounds as an insult to the couple, always avoid asking or saying that, since not everyone is against it.
- 2. "You guys are dating like seriously?"
It is like trying to portray that it is illegal for interracial couples to date. This is looking at the relationship in a racial angle. We are two individuals who have a lot in common and also love each other. Some people think that asking in such a way is normal, not it is not.
- 3. "How you met must be an interesting story"
The story about how we met is the same as other couples, but ours might be in different setting and situation. The notion that interracial couples love stories are forbidden is misguided and not true. This kind of thinking that mixed race couples have amazing tales to tell about how they met , the more we will show the society that they are different compared to other couples of the same race. That is the kind of thinking we should throw in the bin.
- 4 "Do you have a problem dating people of your own race?"
Many people ask that. This is portraying that being involved in interracial relationship and romance is not a normal thing to do,
- 5. "So what race will your kids identify with?"
Just shut up and never ask that. Our society is designed that once mixed race couples have kids, then they will lose identity which is not the case. We should move out of this racial and ethnic box.
- 6. "I wonder how it is like to date someone from another race".
You will be surprised that individuals from different races have a lot in common in terms of goals, personal traits and also visions.
- 7. "What did you see in him?"
Like seriously? This is trying to say that there is little or nothing that can make you attracted to a person from a different race. There is a lot you can admire from people of a different race.
- 8."You are so brave, as for me it is hard".
If it is hard for you, then it does not mean it is hard for everyone. Anyway it is not hard being in an interracial relationship.
- 9. "Aren't you worried about what people will say?"
Not everyone has a problem with mixed race relationships. Racial stereotypes are designed to show that individuals have a problem with interracial couples.
- 10." How will you raise your kids?"
Does it mean dating from another race will make me raise my kids differently? I will raise my kids in a normal way, no need to adjust or learn how to raise them.