What many people do not realise is it is possible to appear confidence even if you have butterflies in your stomach. Let us paint a picture and set the tone for this article, you have met a person of another race that you are so attracted to, you have been exchanging online messages for quite some time and you have both finally arranged a date to meet. Going on a date to meet someone of another race that you bumped into online is very exciting but also nerve racking. How can you create a good impression and ooze confidence on date number one? Here are a few handy tips to follow
1. Always make sure you expect to succeed
The date does not start the moment you meet up with the person; the date starts the moment you are getting ready. To ensure you look your absolute best, you have to pick an outfit that makes you ooze confidence and feel attractive. Knowing how good you look fantastic combined with a nice aftershave (for men), nice hair cut and good cologne is a major confidence booster.
2. Know that you are all in the same boat
Realise that it is not just you who is feeling nervous about the date; chances are your date is feeling just as nervous as you are and are concerned about how things will go. Knowing each other does take time and no everyone is 100% themselves on a first date. When you have this in mind, you will feel more confidence going into your date with the special person you met.
3. Try to fake it until you make it
If you one those people who suffers from a lack of confidence especially on date, you should consider trying to think of someone you are familiar with. It can be a friend or a celebrity you idolise and think about how they act when they are in a conversation with someone and what they sound like. Mirror them and put your own little twist to it. If you are not sure about this just remember that the other person doesn’t exactly know who you are. By pretending to be confident and in control of the situation, there is a very high chance your date will think you are like that all the time.
4. Put your focus on them
Being in a date is not just a chance for you to showcase your amazing personality; it is also a chance for you to learn more about your date. Switch your attention on your date and any self doubt you had prior will disappear. Always try to have some interesting question in mind before you meet up with your date and try to not ask questions that can be answered with a “no” or “yes”. Do not take up majority of the time talking about yourself because it will make you appear as someone who loves themselves so much. Try asking your date their favourite holiday destination or what ambitions they have in life. The special you make a person, they more likely they will open up and feel relaxed in your presence.
Beside the chronicled division of black people and white people, there are a couple of hindrances you ought to escape the path in the present... to make sure you're in deal (and not one from an American history book). In this way, in case you're a black lady and you have been with, or are as of now with a white man, I'm certain these topics have by one means or another got out of your mouth:
1. Your Hair
On the off chance that you didn't see this coming, at that point there’s nothing to tell you. Black hair is an unfathomably flexible and astonishing topic, yet in the event that you weren't raised around it, it can be befuddling. Envision one day seeing your black queen with a charming pixie style. Be that as it may, then the following week, she's rocking Marley turns. It can be somewhat disturbing, in view of how extraordinary the hair quality is. It lands the two groups in totally extraordinary situations.
2. Your Family
Black families aren't just about being blood related. This is most likely the case with different families as well... be that as it may. You have an uncle you've called "uncle" for a considerable length of time, however he truly isn't your uncle by any means. Also, there are some family privileged insights ideally left covered than getting your hands filthy endeavoring to uncover them.
3. Your Body
Since you're with your man, it's okay to accept you've effectively cross-checked for any irritating block attempts like being viewed as an obsession or "a score." Sadly, black ladies must know about those sorts of things when they date outside their race since generalizations still figure out how to live and work in the public arena. A black lady's body should even now be viewed as a sanctuary, not some outlandish show that has occurred in the appalling past.
4. Shopping Habits
Something else that ought to most likely be raised is garments and how they fit. Black ladies don't generally have the advantage of shopping just anyplace: their bodies aren't completely spoken to in the retail field. Black ladies, you definitely know jean or gasp shopping just comes next to being doomed to hellfire's inferno.
5. The Shade
Like mentioned earlier, we may not live in obsolete circumstances any longer, but rather we haven't totally escaped from individuals' stalemate mentalities as to interracial dating. On occasion, you've presumably needed to explain to your man why a group of black men took a gander at him like he was their third-grade spook all adult. The gazes won't stop and the judgments will be hard now and again, yet you need to recall some time ago you two together was impossible. Be that as it may, don't give that fill in as a reason: A chance to individuals ought to get over it. Be that as it may, regardless of whether they don't, you have your own particular life to live.
Once more, there are a million kinds of connections out there, and there's no mischief in giggling at the easily overlooked details that should be clarified. Everybody's human experience is unique.
Dating is something that can be challenging to some people especially if what they want is a committed relationship. Playing it cool can be a good idea to begin with and play it safe however; you can also throw away a chance of being in a long term committed interracial relationship. We live in a technological age where it is so much easier now than ever to connect with people via various interracial dating websites. Anyone who wants a committed, authentic and healthy relationship should go for the direct approach and try these simple tips:
1. Straight off the bat, be honest about the goals you want in the relationship
This may sound scary to some people but we live in a world now where if we take things slow, we are hiding to the other person what we truly feel. It is all about being brave and owning up to the truth. Tell the person you are about to get into the relationship how you want to be treated, how they should act, things you should do together, things they shouldn’t do and so much more.
2. Take some time and find out what you really want
If you are having problems being up front with your date about the relationship, the least you can do is be honest yourself. Buy a notepad or grab a sheet of paper and drop down the ideal relationship you want. If you want to eventually get married, see the world with your lover or partner maybe have some kids, all that needs to be written down. The clearer you are with the things you want, the easier it is to communicate what you want with your potential partner.
3. Make sure that you affirm your desires when it comes to a relationship
Sometimes we find it hard to be upfront about the things we want in a relationship because we feel we don’t really deserve those wonderful things our hearts desire. This is not a good mentally to have and it is important to get out of this negative state of mind and adopt a positive outlook on things. Affirmations are those small things that help a person truly believe in what they want to happen. Every time that you affirm verbally the things you want, you empower yourself and install a sense of believe that your dreams can indeed come true and they are not a fantasy. This makes things easy to break down to your partner or lover because you will be upfront with your needs and wants rather than feel scared or hide them due to fear.
4. Be truthful
If a committed relationship is something you want and the other person does not feel the same way, do not be afraid to share your disappointment with them. Do not pretend you are ok with what they say, be truthful and tell them where you stand. Give them a chance to step back before you become emotionally attached to them. Not telling them the truth is not just lying to them, but also lying to yourself.
Meeting your significant other’s parents for the first time can be a stressful experience. Your partner may reassure you that their parents are “cool” and that they’re not opposed to the relationship, nor do they care about the race issue. Still, it’s fairly common to discover that even among civilized people there are still misunderstandings and misconceptions that do occur. Learning some of the most common questions and statements asked, and why they are cringe-worthy, may help you learn how to better plan for the first meeting and make sure it goes well. Here are a few tips to consider.
1.Talk at length with your partner so you can learn what each parent is like.
Your partner can explain their parents’ unique conversation styles and what to expect. They can also give you advice on how to talk to them, how to draw them out in conversation, and how to bond with them on a favorite subject.
2.Don’t bring up the race issue unless they insist on it.
The more of a deal you make out of it, the more awkward it will be. Remember that some parents and family members will pride themselves on not saying anything, which to them, shows that they have no objections to an interracial relationship. They probably consider this the polite thing to do…just don’t be surprised if they give you funny looks or become nervous in your presence. Reassure them with a laid back and comfortable attitude that you are happy to meet them and do want to get along with everybody.
3.Always give them the benefit of the doubt.
Remember that it usually takes a few good meetings before you start to trust each other. Giving them the benefit of the doubt means you don’t rush to offense, you don’t over-analyze insinuations, and you forgive statements or questions that seem a little rude or awkward. It’s certainly what you would do during a job interview—and loving your partner’s family is just as important!
On the other hand, accusing someone of being bigoted because they don’t seem to agree with you on a subject, is needlessly creating conflict and not peace.
4.Remember to reassure parents who seem nervous or concerned for their son or daughter.
All they really want is reassurance and you can give it to them without jumping on the defensive. Many parents are simply suspicious of anyone dating their daughter. Their first instinct is to be protective. They may wonder what the attraction is and why their son or daughter is pursuing someone who seems so “opposite” from the traditional family.
In short, they’re worried like parents…race is a side issue, if an issue at all. Letting them know that you really care about your partner and would never hurt them is a good start in building trust.
5.Let your parents meet your friends and the partner’s family.
Creating a “support group” of your friends and family members is a good way to bring positive energy into a conversation with your partner’s parents. They will sense that everyone around you is comfortable, rooting for you two to get married and be happy, and that you really do belong together. This will give them confidence to start being more open and reassuring when talking you.
Remember these tips next time when it’s time to meet the parents and make a great first impression!
One of the best ways to find love in the interracial or mixed dating world is through the art of flirting and it is a much easier process to do than most people think. The word “flirt” if looked up in the dictionary or on the internet simply meaning behaving in a sexually attracted manner to someone you like while being playful. If you are a person who is looking to improve their flirting skills, try these wonderful tips below
I.Touching the other person’s forearm
This is a trick that both men and women can use to a person they are attracted to who is of another race in this case. If you happen to find yourself in a bar with your date, try to gently take your hand and rest it on their forearm when they conversation is flowing. This will let your date know that you feel comfortable around and connected to them.
II.Be curious and ask questions
Good conversation is the key to flirting successfully because if there is no flow, the atmosphere becomes dull which is something that neither party wants. All in all you have to make it your objective to ask as many questions as you can on a date. Go above and beyond the usual lines of dialogue like how many brothers/sisters do you have, what is your favourite colour, what is your favourite food and where do you live. Asking interesting dates will make the date more memorable and compelling at the same time.
III.Carefully listen to the answers your date is giving you
This point goes hand in hand with the one above, if you do not ask questions you will not get answers. Listening is something that many people have a problem and if this happens to be your handicap too, this is something you have to work on because there is nothing worse than feeling like you are not being listened to by the person you are on a date with. Listen to your date’s answers and ask more questions if you can.
IV.Share something personal or vulnerable with your date
Anyone who is looking to establish a connection with their date needs to go above the superficial and surface conversation. Sharing something personal or vulnerable acts as a bridge for them to open up a bit more to you and perhaps share something vulnerable too.
V.Don’t future trip
This is a very important point and one that must be taken very seriously. Majority of the time when people flirt with someone, they flirt to get the person into their bed or to be their lover. Some even go as far as thinking about a wedding and having kids. This is called future tripping and if you find yourself in this scenario, take a step back, breath, relax and bring yourself back to the present.
VI.Always leave your date wanting some more
Cutting off a conversation before its get stale is a very good way to get your date’s interest and leave them wanting more. If you are at a bar for example or any other social event, use going to the men’s or ladies room a clever excuse when they conversation is hot. When you return, make sure you speak to your other friends while smiling and glancing where your date is. By showing you are an interesting person, it always leave them wanting more and will initiate the conversation from there. This technique can also be used online.