Dating and the Single Mom: 5 Things to Remember

Jul 16, 2018

It may not have been what you intended, but you’re single and you love your kids. Some women go it alone, while others want to find a partner to share their lives together. You may have discovered how it’s twice as hard finding dates when you’re a single mom than if you had no kids at all. But don’t lie about having the kids as you don’t want your fabulous dates to lie to you!

Here are 5 things to remember when you are a single mom and dating today.

1. You’re proud of your accomplishments.

Don’t let anyone tell you that your life doesn’t matter because you chose a different route. Being a mom is amazing, and is quite an achievement. If you’ve managed to do it all alone, be proud and confident that you’ve done it all by yourself.

2. Practice safety.

While it’s fine to mention that you have kids, or post that info on your dating site profile, you should avoid saying too much about them. This includes their names, the schools they attend, your home address, and your phone number (if you met through a dating app.) Safety should always come first when dating. Always meet dates in busy public locations. Ensure that no one follows you home.

3. Your kids come first.

If you’re dating a guy (or gal) who doesn’t like kids, then why are you with them? Your kids come first, period. If you decide you want someone else in the picture, it must be someone who’s fun, safe (not abusive), and supportive.

4. Commitment next.

While you want to be honest with your kids about getting back to dating again, you don’t want to introduce every single date to them. This sends the wrong message. Your dates should NOT be meeting your kids in the early weeks. The only time your date should be meeting the kids is when you’ve both decided you like each other, love is the answer, and that you both want to commit for the future. At this point, it’s fine to let your kids know they may have a new dad. Then everyone can meet. Of course, it may not work out, and you have to start over. But your kids are first and you want them to know that you won’t just bring home any guy off the street.

5. Take a break.

After dating for a while you may decide that you’re tired of it. It’s okay to take a break. Perhaps you can ask friends for advice. No one is perfect and it can be simple to get into the same rut again and again, or date the same types of guys who aren’t right for you.

Remember to stay focussed and always remember that you want not only a companion for life, but a loving father for your children. There is someone out there who is perfect for you—you just have to spend the time to find them!