The Most Venomous Snake in the World Laughter is the best medicine

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM

    re-post a joke site

    The Most Venomous Snake in the World

    Name: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)

    Location: Throughout the world

    Description: Varying from pink to black. Fangless, with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and subspecies.

    Symptoms: This snake attacks, mainly women, in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then, a severe swelling, followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. However, it has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, which may result in an incurable disease and possible death.

    Habitat: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.

    Antidote: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body, only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.

    What to do when attacked

    Tourniquet: Do not apply a tourniquet, as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.

    Cutting the wound: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.

    Slurping the wound: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.

    Milking the Snake

    1. Place 4 fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.

    2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.

    3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive and start spitting.

    4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.

    5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.


    This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.
  • 3Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 28, 2005 at 11:15 AM

    I'm sorry it is still funny.....think if snake didn't get milked the venom would somehow.... backed up...hmmmm...
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 23, 2005 at 04:51 AM

    Well onced milked 20 minutes for recovery that must be for the older snakes. lol
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 22, 2005 at 06:39 AM

    Oh my goodness i heard the first line of that joke before it gets funnier the more i hear it. this is the second version that i've heard. hehe heee... thanks alot...