Non-sexual Male/female bonding...possible or just a fantasy?. Friendship Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 25, 2008 at 02:59 PM


    The secret to successful male/female FRIENDSHIPS..is honesty. Partly with each other..and partly with yourself. If you become close friends with someone of the opposite sex because you really care more about them than they want to know,or you want to admit,so that you can keep them close..ain't happenin. I have had more male friends than female. And to tell you the truth, I have trusted them more.
    The real question may be wether someone of the same sex can actually be friends.lol
  • 38Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Feb 24, 2008 at 12:11 AM


    I think it is possible. I've had more than a few very good female friends (and yes, I did feel they were attractive, but just not "my type"). Just like in any relationship, I think communication is the key.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 05, 2007 at 05:27 PM


    It's a fantasy for me. The last male friend I had, he was very helpful to me in hooking up and maintaining a long distance relationship. Once I confided in him certain things, he changed. He wanted to experience certain things with me... it really dissapointed me. So no I never get too close to guys... if I'm not going to date them.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 16, 2006 at 10:28 AM


    The only time that can happen is when one of the partners is NOT physically attracted to the other partner, but both still care greatly for each other. And yes it can go both ways. Guys have close female friends that they are just not sexually attracted to.

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  • View author's info Posted on Oct 04, 2006 at 05:43 PM


    Not a problem...... just as long as parties of both parts and all parts of both bodies are in sync...... these types of relationships are common place and you can never tell how long they can last ...... sometimes even as long as it takes to make a 3 minute egg........

    with all due appreciation and respect for all the contributors.....Lil..... noway Jose... at least 'coming' out of the gate, becuz.. somewhere along this 'platonic' path lil ol' Mr. or ms. pheremoan warms up. and then there is an amazing phenomenon that takes place. one of 'em makes a move.... a wink, a call, a touch, a brush...... AND at the oddest time..... what happens after that...???
    a. gittin' bizzy...
    b. separation (temporary.... good 'friends' are hard to find)
    c. declaration of boundaries w/liberty and justice for none....
    d. possibly still friends... but mayyyyyybeeeeeeee a little more dilute at first but getting stronger with time....

    keep an overnight bag in the trunk.... what i call a 'Justin Case'......
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 01, 2006 at 02:41 PM


    I see this works backwards...
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 01, 2006 at 05:41 AM


    I think it is quite possible...

    most of my friends are female
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 21, 2006 at 10:15 PM


    It didn't occur to me that anyone responded to any comment of mine. I just saw this, and it brings about two thoughts. The first is that I should check the Forum more often, especially after making a comment. The second and more important is that I should be more careful in making comments.

    I did not mean to imply that any relationship between people of opposite sexes can be completely without risk that the nature of the relationship could change. We usually have a variety of reasons for friendships, and they get prioritized. Some are primarily based on romantic attraction, some on other forms of attraction. The historical Platonic groups were devotees of Plato who shared an intellectual attraction. Reports indicate those devotees, whose primary motivation was intellectual were all male shared a lot of what we would call affection and even sex. If affection is genuine there is vulnerability and the chance for it to turn into something else. I agree with those of you who pointed this out. However, that was my view to begin with. I just don't think it is necessary to avoid friendships or erect emotional barriers to avoid the risk.

    There is far more risk from those who start with false motives, or who don't honestly handle the situation when feelings change.
  • View author's info Posted on May 02, 2006 at 12:21 AM


    Yes, inter-gender relationships are important (I mean, friendships). We learn much from each other that way, and that teaches respect and understanding.

    If anything, I wish I had more male friends. Sadly, most men I know tend to hang out and befriend only those of their own ethnic group, so friendship with them is nearly impossible.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 17, 2006 at 05:37 PM


    I have lots of male friends that I have never been sexual with. I think these relationships are important for males and females. I get great advise from my male friends and they come to me for advise.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 13, 2006 at 12:08 AM


    I also agree friendship can occur between a man and a women I have had many friendships with men. And not once did anything else occur but a man and a women sharing there feelings, there emotions, and not being afraid of opening up to one another. Talking about dates that did not work out, or marriages that did not work out or was in trouble of ending.

    And yes there can be cuddling and nothing happens if you already have strong boundries set up and knowing where each other stands.

    Most of my friends in life has been man, more men friends then women friends for sure most women gossip and cant keep a secret if there life depended on it. I am a women so I can speak from my experience with women friends.

    And I am straight I love men to date and love and have a strong commitment with each other and be loved truly loved not some fake love to get the big S out of them.

    Nothing I hate more then a man thinking that all that exists in life is the big S. So there can be friendship with a man, it has been done probably more then any one knows.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 10, 2006 at 04:47 PM


    I can say I have not experienced this. Usually it ends up that one or the other of us eventually ends up making a romantic pass. But thats just my experience.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 09, 2006 at 03:50 PM


    HELLO EVERYONE,MY BEST FRIEND IS A GUY WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR 18 YRS NOW AND NOT ONCE HAVE HE EVER TRYED ANYTHING.HE'S EXTREMLY ATTRACTIVE AS AM I (LOL) BUT I GUESS IN OUR HEARTS WE KNOW THAT WE ARE BETTER OFF BEING NOTHING BUT FRIENDS,WHICH IS GREAT HE GIVES GREAT ADVICE AND IS ALWAYS THERE WHEN I NEED HIM (VICE VERSA).WE DON'T SEE ALOT OF EACH OTHER FOR HE LIVES IN (U.S.V.I)HOWEVER I'VE VISITED HIM MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT STAYED IN THE SAME HOUSE,WALKED AROUND IN MY P.J's AND BAM BANG BOOM NOTHING (HE'S NOT GAY LOL)HE'S MY BETTER HALF,HE'S MY ANGEL.....HE'S MY BEST FRIEND...WOULDN'T HAVE ANY OTHER WAY
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 20, 2005 at 01:11 PM


    I have a female friend that while hot looking by most standards I would never want to get that close to in a million years. I have two others who are awesome and they are very huggy/kissy. Same applies, very cute, but I'm not imterested.

    I think it's good if you can just be honest with yourself and your friends. I have intellegent, beautiful, lovely, female friends that I do not want to have a releationship with past just being friends. I am blessed to have them as friends.

    And yes when they ask is there a sexual attraction I tell them the truth. For some yes, for others no, but so what? I want more that a sexual attrain from a life mate. I need something deeper.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 18, 2005 at 08:31 AM


    I have several very good male friends who have always been and continue to be my buds - and I do appreciate their male perspectives in explaining the inexplicable behavior of some of the guys I've dated in the past. I've even had several former lovers end up as very good friends - although the relationship did not work out, the connection remained.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 14, 2005 at 03:01 PM


    phea44 write:
    QuiteAFriend wrote:

    It is also nice to feel comfortable with Platonic cuddling where there is no concern about sending the wrong signals or letting things get out of control.

    The short answer is that friendships can exist between friends.
    ********************************************************************************

    Come on! Platonic cuddling??? Yeah right! Whenever there are interactions between heterosexual men and women, with even a slight amount of physical attraction added into the mix, the chances of more than a friendship arising(not to mention other things arising, or is it rising?)will always be present.
    In an ideal world, a man and a woman can share a good friendship without any romantic links ever being formed. Oooh but then there are those raging hormones again. Darn those hormones!! It's a lot like asking the fox to guard the chickens.

    I have had very good friendships with women before, but none of them fit my category of attractiveness to the extent that I would want to start a relationship. Any woman who is above average in looks, and who thinks that she can be "just friends" with a heterosexual man is being highly unrealistic, or she is wearing one very strong and tight chastity belt. lol If she is exceptionally attractive...ah he11! Look out!! May day....May day...Impending doom!!!


    LOL @ Impending dooooooooooooooooom.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 14, 2005 at 07:44 AM


    phea44 write:
    QuiteAFriend wrote:

    It is also nice to feel comfortable with Platonic cuddling where there is no concern about sending the wrong signals or letting things get out of control.

    The short answer is that friendships can exist between friends.
    ********************************************************************************

    Come on! Platonic cuddling??? Yeah right! Whenever there are interactions between heterosexual men and women, with even a slight amount of physical attraction added into the mix, the chances of more than a friendship arising(not to mention other things arising, or is it rising?)will always be present.
    In an ideal world, a man and a woman can share a good friendship without any romantic links ever being formed. Oooh but then there are those raging hormones again. Darn those hormones!! It's a lot like asking the fox to guard the chickens.

    I have had very good friendships with women before, but none of them fit my category of attractiveness to the extent that I would want to start a relationship. Any woman who is above average in looks, and who thinks that she can be "just friends" with a heterosexual man is being highly unrealistic, or she is wearing one very strong and tight chastity belt. lol If she is exceptionally attractive...ah he11! Look out!! May day....May day...Impending doom!!!

    My thoughts exactly. May day in deed!!
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 13, 2005 at 02:10 PM


    QuiteAFriend wrote:

    It is also nice to feel comfortable with Platonic cuddling where there is no concern about sending the wrong signals or letting things get out of control.

    The short answer is that friendships can exist between friends.
    ********************************************************************************

    Come on! Platonic cuddling??? Yeah right! Whenever there are interactions between heterosexual men and women, with even a slight amount of physical attraction added into the mix, the chances of more than a friendship arising(not to mention other things arising, or is it rising?)will always be present.
    In an ideal world, a man and a woman can share a good friendship without any romantic links ever being formed. Oooh but then there are those raging hormones again. Darn those hormones!! It's a lot like asking the fox to guard the chickens.

    I have had very good friendships with women before, but none of them fit my category of attractiveness to the extent that I would want to start a relationship. Any woman who is above average in looks, and who thinks that she can be "just friends" with a heterosexual man is being highly unrealistic, or she is wearing one very strong and tight chastity belt. lol If she is exceptionally attractive...ah he11! Look out!! May day....May day...Impending doom!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 13, 2005 at 10:18 AM


    Of coarse men and women can be "just friends". Have you ever had a close friend you were attracted to, tried it, and found it completely clumsy and uncomfortable? I think everyone has and opted to "stay just friends" so as not to spoil the relationship. And other relationships end because one party cannot be just friends after being intimate with the other. The world is too big with too many people not to have all variations of relationships
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 12, 2005 at 11:29 AM


    I admit recognizing a difference between male and female friends. Further its chemistry and I like it. That does make it difficult to have categories of friends that I care a great deal for, but whom I would have no desire to actually engage in sexual activity. That doesn't mean they aren't desirable. It means it wouldn't be appropriate, because there are other things in the relationship more important than s3x. I don't mean physical concerns aren't important. It's just that it is also important to be able to communicate and exchange ideas and advice and be credible because there is no confusion about motives. It is nice to have confidence that the friendship is going to last longer than a romantic interest is likely to last. It is also nice to feel comfortable with Platonic cuddling where there is no concern about sending the wrong signals or letting things get out of control.

    The short answer is that friendships can exist between men and women.
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