NO PIC = FUGLY Message board Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 20, 2005 at 06:41 AM


    bm6ft4in writes:
    Actually if I were a woman doing the online dating thing, I would not post a picture. In fact my ad would barely say anything. My strategy would be to search the ads, contact the guys I was interested and then maal a picture once some dialogue has been established.

    The ratio of men to women is still way out of proportion and any woman who is reasonably attractive and has a picture on her ad is just going to get way too many responses from guys she has no desire to hear from.


    Damn thats like right on the money with that comment.One of my many reasons why I hid my profile,and if I'm interested in a guy I contact him.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 11:48 PM



    bm6ft4in, your last post sounds like you're really of 2 minds on the issue. Now that's a compliment - means you see that, like many issues in life, there's more than 1 side and all have their merits.



    It must be the Libra in me, but thank you.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 11:22 PM


    Stankonia,
    I have to agree. While my pic isn't posted, I will send it as soon as I begin communicating with someone off site. And I DO get very suspicious of people who won't. I guess though part of the thing why the pic isn't the make or break deal for me communicating with is that anyone can send any pic. So your never going to know till you actually meet someone face to face. For all some of these guys here know they are looking at a beautiful woman & emailing with some 50sum hairy pot bellied man.
    Not that 50sum hairy pot bellied men don't need love too. lol! Just I don't think some other hetero guy wants to be the 1 ;-)
    bm6ft4in, your last post sounds like you're really of 2 minds on the issue. Now that's a compliment - means you see that, like many issues in life, there's more than 1 side and all have their merits.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 10:47 PM


    My experience has been that not having a picture does not translate to ugly although I do refuse to meet anyone who will not maal me a picture once we have started to speak.

    People have different reasons for not wanting to post. I know there are a few sites I've advertised at where I would have preferred not to post my picture for fear of a coworker finding it, but as a guy I don't see how you can place an ad and not post a picture.

    Actually if I were a woman doing the online dating thing, I would not post a picture. In fact my ad would barely say anything. My strategy would be to search the ads, contact the guys I was interested and then maal a picture once some dialogue has been established.

    The ratio of men to women is still way out of proportion and any woman who is reasonably attractive and has a picture on her ad is just going to get way too many responses from guys she has no desire to hear from.

    So really I don't blame the women who don't post pictures although I have to admit I am more inclined to save reading their ads for after I have gone through the ones with the pictures.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 09:58 PM


    Wolvarine, I love any type of camera.I'm a big ham when it is pic taking time,I like to be front and center with a big colgate smile. I think your point on some people not being photogenic was good because my mom and my sisters are beautiful but they hate taking pictures,they always find something wrong in the pic or have to complain about something. (I'm not really a big Outkast fan,they have some good songs but for some reason I like the way this name sounds.)

    I think that it is nice to have a picture when you are talking to someone or if you are wanting to get to know someone more,but if you talk to a person for so long and they don't have a pic wouldn't you not even care after awhile what they look like if you really liked them???? I wouldn't,but thats just me.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 08:34 PM


    stankonia, you must know someone who isn't very photogenic, because that is obviously not a problem for you...

    I like to believe that we, the "message board nerds" of this site may actually be more forgiving of a "less than desirable" pic, because we actually put forth more of an effort to interact with others and get to know them before any mutual physical attraction is evident, whereas, IMO, most people post their pics and profiles and sift through their responses until they find a pic they like and then put forth some effort only when a mutual attraction has surfaced...

    btw, do you like outkast, or does your "site" name come from elsewhere...?
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 07:44 PM


    Oh, ya... I guess here would be a good place to apologize to the guys who's winks I didn't respond to but just deleted. *sheepish grin*

    If I'd known then... ;^)
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 07:37 PM


    ROFL @ "crusty feet!"
    There's that Clif sense of humor again ;^D
    Well, I don't have my pic posted & some know something about the reason why.
    btw, my pic wasn't up here from the start & I was here forever without being active because an aquantance did this (to me) as a lark.... little did she know what a favor she's done me!! After someone sent me a wink & I decided to actually look at the website rather than delete the email unread, & once I started reading the forums I decided there's some nice people here worth knowing.
    But back to the topic at hand. I don't realistically expect to send my pic and not have 1 single person think "EEWWWW!"
    Because just as there's somebody for everybody, also there's not any 1 somebody who will appeal to everybody.
    Think about how may times you've been with a friend and saw someone who made you're eyes pop & your jaw fall, all while your friend is going eewww about the same person?
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 05:01 PM


    I definitely have experienced the excuses for not posting a photo.

    For a while I entertained the excuses.

    But now,

    "my ignore list runneth over"
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 03:37 PM



    MissCW write:
    I am very glad to email a photo to anyone that requests one. Because of professional (job-related) reasons, mine isn't posted.



    Consider yourself asked, Email on it's way:-]
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 03:10 PM


    Ok, some of you know of my sense of humor as well as my experience with "blind" dates,
    Dare I say something about this? here goes.

    I agree with some of you here and agree with the rest of you here. However, I believe it's better to have something rather than nothing at all...that is if you're trying to catch that special someone.
    A pic ALONG with a the profile tends to enhance the attraction. So many people say pretty much the same thing..."fun, outgoing,love life,dancing etc. I feel that sometimes it can hurt if you're talking to someone, get to like them, they send you a pic and "man o man, I really "liked" them too, oh well, c ya". That could be bad for their self esteem.

    I personally commend the ones that have the "nerve" to post the pics they do...at least choose one that brings out your best qualities. Not crusty feet, wrinkle clothes, no makeup, too much makeup, hugging some ex mate, at a bar drunk w/cig smoke covering your face, saying you're average and sitting in a chair you can barely fit in.
    So, pics have there advantage, though I do understand about the co-worker thing...Hey,don't yell at me!

    Clif
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 01:42 PM


    UPDATE: My "second pick of the litter" has just informed me that he does not have a photo at all to post. This, after asking my patience. Why in the world would somebody sign up on a singles site and not have a photo? The empty photo box on the profiles read: CONTACT ME FOR MY PHOTO! If you don't have a photo to share, have self-esteem issues, etc., maybe a singles site isn't the place for one to be looking for a special friend/mate! I'm far from shallow... I'm realistic. I think everyone's whompin' on Soul a little too heavy. I know exactly what he's sayin'. I think it's ignorant to expect somebody to be interested in you because of what you've written in your profile. I've been around long enough to know people manufacture and fabricate information about themselves that are far from who they really are. After all, they ARE trying to catch your attention! Now, you got my attention... I like your profile... now send me a picture, dangit! WORD!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 12:45 PM


    Wolvarine I agree with you completely. I mean soulblade might have a point himself but come on the name of this post is No Pic=FUGLY and he made the Swamp Donkey comment,which is why my first post came off like it did because I feel there is always a reason why someone doesn't post a picture and if you don't know the reason why say "no pic=fugly". Wolvarine I think you made a great point about some people not being photogenic.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 09:45 AM


    I am very glad to email a photo to anyone that requests one. Because of professional (job-related) reasons, mine isn't posted.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 06:06 AM


    VERY well said indeed, wolvarine!
    =^D
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 04:12 AM


    c'mon everyone, get real, looks matter (at least to me they do)...

    but you also have to keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there is somebody out there for everyone...

    also, some people who are very attractive in person just simply aren't photogenic, there is a woman where I work that is drop dead gorgeous, but has an ugly company ID picture...

    I personally don't photograph well and am much better looking in person...

    another possible reason some people don't post pictures is that they could have very low self esteem...

    I have known attractive men and women (perfect example: my ex wife, a very beautiful black woman), who were too self conscious about certain aspects of their appearance to consider themselves beautiful in their own eyes...

    there are probably some very attractive people on this site who don't have pictures posted...

    personally, I choose to just check out the ones with pics and who knows, maybe I'm missing out on meeting the new love of my life, but that's my choice, but to insult those people who choose not to post one is pretty childish IMO...

    if you think about it, this board is all about making choices which may not be considered mainstream to most...
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 19, 2005 at 02:38 AM


    BNB: I concur! My general feeling is that if a pic is not posted, the person is probably not all too appealing to the eye. Let's be real here! If there isn't a physical attraction, then you can probably forget there being an attraction at all. I don't care to read a profile of somebody I don't even have a mental image of... good looking or not! Then, after 2 or 3 private emails, and requests for a photo come to no fruition, forget it! I just got an email from somebody who asked me to "be patient" on the photo thing. How long should one allow for the other to send a simple photo? Then, he goes on to say that because I haven't written on a regular basis, he must be my "second pick of the litter". The LITTER? Howlllllllll! That's exactly why I didn't get a picture!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 16, 2005 at 08:00 PM


    But pictures can be posted of anyone...not the person responding. Sometimes the "real" person won't post a photo especially when they are beautiful for protection. It's so shallow to discount them.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 15, 2005 at 10:41 PM


    actually soulblade the reason my profile is hidden is because I'm not looking anymore,and the reason I'm not looking is because I've found someone.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 15, 2005 at 10:17 PM



    Silver1944 write:
    LOL - Seems Soul has picked us ALL up and added his comments.

    I only have 2 comments, based on your responses."

    1 - They contradict each other, as it is very apparent you DO have preferences and you are picky in what you want.

    Not really. I truly don't. I have to meet someone in person to make a judgement about them. I can read a profile get all hyped and when when we meet....its BLAH.

    2 - Only 10% of 100% of the women at this site fit into what you are looking for.

    LOL- Okay trying to put words in my text? tsk,tsk.
    To me I have to look at a pic I'm sorry. I'm not the harlequin romance reading type. I want to SEE what I'm chatting with. It's could be a (god forbid) a GUY or a SHE-MALE! It's happened.


    That's sort of like looking for a needle in a hay stack, but I still wish you well, no matter what dating site you join.

    Thank you. I'll have some luck. being myself 100% of the time. will gain me the person that I'm seeking.
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