Yo Mamma Jokes Message board Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 07:11 PM


    okay just one.
    your momma's house is so dirty the roaches have i sign "mandatory house shoes required"
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 07:09 PM


    Silver1944 write:
    EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

    *Picture Silver running down the hallway to take a shower.

    Talk about give me the itchies, Keihan.

    DANG!!!


    LOL! Come to think of it I'm getting the itchies too. You know what they say though... if you scratch it more than once yer playin wid it!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 03:27 PM


    Oh I forgot one of my favorites...

    The first time I heard this I almost crapped myself from laughing so hard and I still get a chuckle even now hehe

    Yo momma so nasty she puts ice in her shorts to keep the crabs fresh.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 10:22 AM


    keihan write:
    Guess it is my turn:

    Yo momma is so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp.

    Yo momma is so poor when I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.

    Yo momma is so poor she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.

    Yo momma is so poor... When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."

    Yo momma so short she can hang glide from Doritos.

    Yo momma so short, she does back flips under the bed.

    Yo momma so old Jurassic Park brought back the memories

    Yo momma so old when she ran the 100 meter dash, they timed her with a sundial

    Yo momma so old she still owes Moses a dollar.

    Yo momma so old she's got the first autographed Koran.

    Yo momma so old when Moses parted the Red Sea, he found yo mama fishing on the other side!

    Yo momma so old she's starting to f-art out Mummy dust

    Your momma so fat when she hauls azz she has to make two trips.

    Your momma so fat when she dances she makes the band skip.

    Yo momma so old and fat when she goes to the zoo people throw her peanuts.

    Yo momma so fat her yearbook picture was an aerial photograph

    Yo momma so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

    Yo momma so fat when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

    Yo momma so fat she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

    ..and the number one Yo momma joke:

    Yo momma so fat she can't even fit in the InterracialMatch d-o-t com chat room!

    How funny!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 10:18 AM


    Silver1944 write:
    Coffee, Coffee, Coffee!!! *Bodacious laughter heard in an office in Laguna Hills.



    ***Your mamas so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptised.

    Sea World to get baptized. OMG LOL!


    **Runs as fast as she can for the side door.

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 10:13 AM


    Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 09:16 AM


    keihan write:
    Guess it is my turn:

    Yo momma is so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp.

    Yo momma is so poor when I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.

    Yo momma is so poor she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.

    Yo momma is so poor... When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."

    Yo momma so short she can hang glide from Doritos.

    Yo momma so short, she does back flips under the bed.

    Yo momma so old Jurassic Park brought back the memories

    Yo momma so old when she ran the 100 meter dash, they timed her with a sundial

    Yo momma so old she still owes Moses a dollar.

    Yo momma so old she's got the first autographed Koran.

    Yo momma so old when Moses parted the Red Sea, he found yo mama fishing on the other side!

    Yo momma so old she's starting to f-art out Mummy dust

    Your momma so fat when she hauls azz she has to make two trips.

    Your momma so fat when she dances she makes the band skip.

    Yo momma so old and fat when she goes to the zoo people throw her peanuts.

    Yo momma so fat her yearbook picture was an aerial photograph

    Yo momma so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

    Yo momma so fat when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

    Yo momma so fat she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

    ..and the number one Yo momma joke:

    Yo momma so fat she can't even fit in the InterracialMatch d-o-t com chat room!

    that food stamp one is good!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 09:14 AM


    sweetNikki1 write:
    Yo Momma like a shotgun,
    two c-o-c-k-s... then she blows...

    you aint right girl.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2005 at 01:10 PM


    These are just too FUNNY Keihan.
    rofl
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2005 at 11:45 AM


    Yo Momma like a shotgun,
    two c-o-c-k-s... then she blows...
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2005 at 11:42 AM


    Yo Momma so poor, each night she goes to KFC to lic other folk's fingers.

    Yo Momma like a Hoover - she s-u-c-k-s, blows, and finally gets laid back in the closet...

    Yo Momma like a Christmas Tree -everybody hangs balls on her

    Yo Momma like a squirrel- she always got some nuts in her mouth

    Yo Momma so poor she had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2005 at 11:19 AM


    Yo mama's so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.

    Yo mama's so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.

    Yo mama's so hairy, she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.

    Yo mama's so hairy, she sh-aves with a weedwacker.

    Yo mama's so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.

    Yo mama's so nice she'd give me the hair off her back.

    Yo mama's so stanky, when you were being delivered, the doctor was wearing the oxygen mask.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2005 at 10:59 AM


    Yo momma is so fat she appears on MapQuest with her own zip code

    Yo mamma is so fat, her azz looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.

    Yo mamma is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the f*** off!"

    Yo mamma is so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2005 at 10:19 AM


    Guess it is my turn:

    Yo momma is so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp.

    Yo momma is so poor when I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.

    Yo momma is so poor she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.

    Yo momma is so poor... When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."

    Yo momma so short she can hang glide from Doritos.

    Yo momma so short, she does back flips under the bed.

    Yo momma so old Jurassic Park brought back the memories

    Yo momma so old when she ran the 100 meter dash, they timed her with a sundial

    Yo momma so old she still owes Moses a dollar.

    Yo momma so old she's got the first autographed Koran.

    Yo momma so old when Moses parted the Red Sea, he found yo mama fishing on the other side!

    Yo momma so old she's starting to f-art out Mummy dust

    Your momma so fat when she hauls azz she has to make two trips.

    Your momma so fat when she dances she makes the band skip.

    Yo momma so old and fat when she goes to the zoo people throw her peanuts.

    Yo momma so fat her yearbook picture was an aerial photograph

    Yo momma so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

    Yo momma so fat when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

    Yo momma so fat she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

    ..and the number one Yo momma joke:

    Yo momma so fat she can't even fit in the InterracialMatch d-o-t com chat room!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2005 at 01:10 AM


    The British equivalent, I think, are "Mummy, mummy" jokes - for example:

    "Mummy, mummy, I'm 13, can I wear a bra now?"

    "Oh shut up, Peter!"
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 07, 2005 at 02:06 PM


    Yo mamma is soooo stupid, I saw her chasin a UPS truck, when I asked what she was doing she said, "trying to catch up on my bills!"
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 07, 2005 at 11:19 AM


    Your momma's so stupid she asked me what comes after x in the alphabet , I said "y" and "she said becauseI want to know"!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 07, 2005 at 11:17 AM


    sweetNikki1 write:
    Dammmnn..... Solong, you had me in tears. I'm at work and the boss, thinks I lost a family member or something.
    You are too funny!!!
    Anyway I have a few Momma jokes myself, here goes......


    Yo momma like a bowling ball: She's picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter.

    Yo momma like a racing car....chick burned four rubbers in one night.

    Yo momma so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

    Yo momma so old when she reads the bible she reminisces.

    Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

    Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers license!

    Yo momma so short that she has to hold up a sign that says, "Don't Spit! I Can't Swim!"

    Yo momma so old, she was a waitress at the last supper!

    Yo momma so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.

    Yo momma so stupid, she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.

    Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

    Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!


    Good job!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 03, 2005 at 12:18 PM


    Dammmnn..... Solong, you had me in tears. I'm at work and the boss, thinks I lost a family member or something.
    You are too funny!!!
    Anyway I have a few Momma jokes myself, here goes......


    Yo momma like a bowling ball: She's picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter.

    Yo momma like a racing car....chick burned four rubbers in one night.

    Yo momma so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

    Yo momma so old when she reads the bible she reminisces.

    Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

    Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers license!

    Yo momma so short that she has to hold up a sign that says, "Don't Spit! I Can't Swim!"

    Yo momma so old, she was a waitress at the last supper!

    Yo momma so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.

    Yo momma so stupid, she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.

    Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

    Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 02, 2005 at 09:20 AM


    Yo Mamma is so dam stupid, she sent a check to the Desperate Housives.
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