why some people lie about their income? why they lie about income Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 30, 2005 at 12:20 PM


    Peps, I could not agree more. You do not see a whole lot of people saying that they earn LESS than they actually do. Now do you? As you so nicely put it, its something about society that makes some people (be it man or woman) feel as though they have to appear more(socioeconomically) advantaged than they actually are.
    For the people who actually *fudge* their income in order to attract the attention of someone else, allow me to share my personal experience.
    In 1997, I started a vending machine business with money I obtained from an inheritance. It took some time and a lot of hard work, but my company has flourished. I now enjoy a very nice lifestyle finalcially. Now for the down side.
    After my business finally got off of it's feet, it was hard for me to become involved in a meaningful relationship. It was not a problem of finding a women to go out with, but in the back of my mind I would always wonder if it was me she was attracted to, or my lifestyle. I struggle with that issue today. A lot of guys I know feel the same way. They have no objections to dating and/or marrige, however, they don't want to get taken for ride. I am sure there are women who feel the same way.
    I believe things would be different had I grown up in a priveledged family, or then again maybe not. One thing I do know is this, when it comes to income, BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU WISH FOR...BECAUSE YOU JUST MIGHT GET IT. Take it from someone who knows.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 30, 2005 at 11:36 AM


    I am not usually prone to joining in big debates that have high ?subjective? content but I feel there are some points of interest that I have not so far identified in the profiles I have read. There are many other issues but I don?t want to take up too much space. Here is a taster?.

    Why do men lie about their income/wealth?
    This goes back to the basic human function and instinct that we do not escape with civilisation. As a general rule, males look to spread and continue their genes and women look for a good provider. If a woman feels physically vulnerable, she looks for a big, strong warrior type ( e.g. short girls often look for tall men). If they have had financial hardship in life (maybe parents struggled to put food on table when they were young), they look for financial stability. Girls from lower income countries are far more attracted to wealth than those from countries where female incomes are a living wage and jobs are available.

    Why do women lie about their income?
    There appear to be two distinct reasons for this behaviour. Some savvy women second-guess wealthy men who fear female attraction to their wealth and not their personality. By indicating they are themselves wealthy, they create a sense of comfort in the man. The other reason seems to be to create an impression of competence and glamour to attract males but in reality, the male that is attracted to this issue is likely to be one with an intention to spend some of it. I suppose if you are a 20 year old female and on a high salary, finding a toy boy is a tricky event.

    What Is The Definition of Wealth?
    Surely this is actually the difference between your income and expenditure and your debt against your assets. There are some billionaires who have as much debt as asset. Are they wealthy? If you see a person in an expensive car, have they bought it outright or on credit? Two people driving the same expensive car can have two very different financial positions. For the latter, it is only a reflection of their ability to borrow and not their earnings capacity. We have all read stories of people who get new credit cards to pay old and end up in spiralling debt. Credit eventually cathces up with you unless you are willing to die for it.

    In Conclusion
    Advertising, hormones, anecdotes and peer pressure tend to create strong ?magnetic fields? around the issue of income, wealth, material possession and position in society. My guess is that only those who feel confident in their own sense of self-achievement and self worth are not sensitive to the magnet. If you feel you create or do something that society values, you create a strong sense of self esteem which gives far greater rewards than financial wealth.

    Maybe the discussion should be : ?What attracts men and women to each other??
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 30, 2005 at 01:28 AM


    Bbandit,

    No, I'm sorry, I disagree. I don't doubt you've come across women who've exaggerated their financial status or that women even do so. There is no way really to go through each and every profile and determine what percentage of women versus what percentage of men lie about their income. But I still believe that if such a survey were to ever be conducted with accuracy, the results would yield that WOMEN more often lie about things such as weight, body type and age and MEN more often fib about their financial status and physical condition.
    So, sorry, unless there is some statistical evidence to suggest otherwise, I uphold my position on this.

    As for plastic surgery, yes men are undergoing cosmetic procedures in increasing numbers, but guess what?

    So are women!!

    The quest for beauty still remains an overwhelmingly FEMALE obsession. In 2004:

    * Women had nearly 10.7 million cosmetic procedures, 90 percent of the total. The number of cosmetic procedures for women increased 49 percent from 2003.
    * Men had nearly 1.2 million cosmetic procedures, 8 percent of the total. The number of cosmetic procedures for men increased 8 percent from 2003.
    * Only about 10% of people with anorexia and bulimia are male. This gender difference may reflect our society's DIFFERENT EXPECTATIONS for men and women.

    Check the stats for yourself at the w*w*w.surgery.org/press/procedurefacts-asqf.php

    AND

    the ANRED site (Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc.)
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 26, 2005 at 03:09 PM



    caramel_princess write:
    My opinion?

    I think this is a predominately gender-specific issue.

    Many men feel pressured to have status and financial success in order to impress a woman. Just as many women feel pressured to remain thin, young and beautiful in order to attain and keep a man's interest. (Don't beleive it? How much money was spent on weight loss products and cosmetic surgery last year by women?) Isn't it kind of shallow on both ends?
    Granted, most men won't be interested in a woman who's very overweight and most women won't want a man who is not atleast self-sufficient. But perhaps we all exaggerate how important those things actually are to the opposite gender and hence we lie.

    Personally, though? I don't think it's fair to blame the opposite gender for your own insecurities. You MAKE THE CHOICE to let their expectations make you feel inept. Ever heard the quote:

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent?"



    I agree with the saying, but I do know many women who want a mate that can provide well for them financially. For many reasons, like they mismanaged their own money and are in debt. That's a bad example obviously, but I don't think it's the men that put all the pressure on themselves to provide well.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 25, 2005 at 06:25 AM


    It really makes you not want to look at the guys that have the higher income- I wish it wasn't even a question- because it shouldn't matter. I don't want a Scrub but Thats my job to figure that out. When they lie you have overcome the fact they aren't honest!

    Members Only

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 24, 2005 at 01:55 PM


    My opinion?

    I think this is a predominately gender-specific issue.

    Many men feel pressured to have status and financial success in order to impress a woman. Just as many women feel pressured to remain thin, young and beautiful in order to attain and keep a man's interest. (Don't beleive it? How much money was spent on weight loss products and cosmetic surgery last year by women?) Isn't it kind of shallow on both ends?
    Granted, most men won't be interested in a woman who's very overweight and most women won't want a man who is not atleast self-sufficient. But perhaps we all exaggerate how important those things actually are to the opposite gender and hence we lie.

    Personally, though? I don't think it's fair to blame the opposite gender for your own insecurities. You MAKE THE CHOICE to let their expectations make you feel inept. Ever heard the quote:

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent?"
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 22, 2005 at 06:43 PM


    It's really sad that people feel the need to lie about anything. I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for someone in a familiar socio/economic background. A lie is a lie and if they lie about one thing, they'll lie about anything....that's the real thing to consider....And the comment about women lying about body measurements (men do it too) was real.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 16, 2005 at 12:33 PM



    keihan write:


    LMAO Sam!



    You can refer to some people as "tools" as well. lol
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 15, 2005 at 11:06 AM


    So you are saying that one should consider the Debt to Imcome/ Asset ratio??

    People lie because they are afraid of being PREJUDGED before they even have a chance to show themselves as worth your time. I am not even sure why that section is on so many dating sites... Honestly it is NONE of YOUR Business what I make. Now once we are together I am not one that gets all gaurded with that information, but at this step in the game what difference does it make WHO MUCH someone makes... More importantly "Will this person make a GOOD Match for me?"

    Sad to say but people judge a person's worth based on MATERIAL things. These Profiles are a Poor substitute for actually meeting someone so I tend to put little value in them... It's same as WHY women Lie about their Shoe Size or Weight or AGE??? Come on, CURVY does not mean 5'2" and 350 pounds

    Perhaps a person lies about their INCOME because they feel that the one reading it may be shallow enough to pass him/her over because he works at McDonald's Food for thought
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 14, 2005 at 04:40 PM


    i dont think people understand money every well u can earn a 100 thousand a year and have no assets ( like leasing your car, renting your house, and etc.)and be in credit card debt lol
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 13, 2005 at 12:04 PM


    Callous as this may sound,I think that some people lie about their income(and/or their appearance)as a calculated means of catching someone.In other words they will deceive in what-
    ever means possible in the hope of get-
    ting physically intimate with someone.

    Crazy? Scary? Delusional? Yes,big time.
    And very sad.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 12, 2005 at 11:28 AM


    I have to agree to some degree that Men do it because you always hear about women harping on what a guy DOES or How much MONEY he makes...

    I don't tell what I make cause it is a rather personal subject and if someone asks makes them seem like a gold Digger. Now ask me what I DO and you can put two and two together for yourself.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 11, 2005 at 08:50 AM


    MOST PEOPLE THAT LIE ABOUT INCOME ARE UNFORTUNATELY MEN. THERE IS A VERY SIMPLE REASON WHY CERTAIN GUYS DO IT. ITS BECAUSE WOMEN PUT SO MUCH EMPHASIS ON HOW MUCH WE MAKE, AND WE ARE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO IMPRESS THOSE TYPES OF WOMEN. TRUTHFULLY SPEAKING MONEY DOES MAKE LIFE A-LOT EASIER BUT IS CERTAINLY NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. UNFORTUNATELY THERE ARE VERY FEW WOMEN OUT THERE THAT ACTUALLY LOVE AND RESPECT MEN FOR WHO WE ARE INSTEAD OF HOW MUCH MONEY AND MATERALISTIC THINGS WE HAVE.ME PERSONALLY I DONT REALLY TELL WOMEN HOW MUCH I MAKE UNTIL AT LEAST 6 MONTHS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP, THAT WAY YOU CAN USUALLY SEE IF SHE WANTS YOU FOR MONEY OR LOVE. ITS A CONSTANT CIRCLE, MEN TELL WOMEN THEY MAKE 100K AND ACTUALLY MAKE 40K TO IMPRESS THEM AND KEEP THEM, AND TRUTH BE TOLD ONCE MOST WOMEN REALIZE WE DON'T MAKE MUCH THEY FIND THE NEXT GUY THATS MORE FINANCIALLY STABLE.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 08, 2005 at 05:49 PM



    Samantha451 write:

    Sooo true kash.
    Money ISN'T everything... it's just a tool we use to keep life running smoothly.
    And as we all know, the bigger the tool is no guarentee a person will know how to use it well!
    *LOL*



    LMAO Sam!
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 06, 2005 at 01:58 AM



    keihan write:
    ... I am secure in my job, work for the State at a University and have been here for 13 years... pay sux, but benefits are good.


    11 years in service of the good tax payers of WA. ST. for me...
    but seeing once good benefits harshly cut due to buget constraints.
    :-(



    Congratulations!
    Heaven knows you've found the right place for it.
    =o/


    kashmirkat write:
    Pay does not equal personality. Or fun, or passion, or intellect.


    Sooo true kash.
    Money ISN'T everything... it's just a tool we use to keep life running smoothly.
    And as we all know, the bigger the tool is no guarentee a person will know how to use it well!
    *LOL*

    But whether in the public sector or the private sector, cheers to all hard working people of the world!
    =^)
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 05, 2005 at 11:17 AM



    keihan write:
    I get by LOL!

    I make sure my responsibilities are dealt with, first, then the leftovers is spending cash hehe. I am secure in my job, work for the State at a University and have been here for 13 years... pay sux, but benefits are good.

    I figure someone can love me for me and enjoy the fact that I am a good man. I don't wish to be wealthy... just comfortable.

    I figure if someone is lying about their income then how could I trust them to tell me the truth about anything else? It is better that they leave their income off their profile if they do not wish for it to be known.



    Pay does not equal personality. Or fun, or passion, or intellect.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 04, 2005 at 03:05 PM


    I get by LOL!

    I make sure my responsibilities are dealt with, first, then the leftovers is spending cash hehe. I am secure in my job, work for the State at a University and have been here for 13 years... pay sux, but benefits are good.

    I figure someone can love me for me and enjoy the fact that I am a good man. I don't wish to be wealthy... just comfortable.

    I figure if someone is lying about their income then how could I trust them to tell me the truth about anything else? It is better that they leave their income off their profile if they do not wish for it to be known.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 02, 2005 at 01:38 PM


    I agree, that I've yet to know many 20 year olds making over $100K per year legally, but you never know. As far as the college educated and not being able to make over $70, that's not true either. My income with no degree is over $100K per year, but then again I'm in the Metro DC area and I'm a hellva lot older than 20. I have a good buddy of mine that's making $250 a year, but that fool is in Iraq as a civilian contractor. So my point, if any to be made is that there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule. I personally don't factor in a person's income, but there are some that do. I also don't believe in factoring in a person's height, weight, hair or eye color, but most on this site do in one form or another. I guess at the end of the day, you can put whatever you want on these pages, but in the end the true you is what matters.

    And that's just my $0.02
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 02, 2005 at 01:22 PM


    I agree that it all boils down to insecurity.

    I personally don't mind putting my putting my income stats on my profile.
    Helps to weed out the gold-diggers. lol

    Maybe we need a new catagory for the 19 year old uneducated "millionares":

    "Income When My C.D. Drops"

    tltltltl
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 02, 2005 at 08:37 AM


    I always wonder that too. I like giving people the benefit of the doubt but I'll admit if I see someone early 20's saying they make over 70K a year I normalyy skip that profile. I think that's too personal to put online to start with. People I've known for years don't even know how much money I make lol.
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