Why you can't find a Black Man who won't cheat.. Message board Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on May 26, 2006 at 10:20 AM


    Are there any black men left that don't cheat? Sure, there are tons of them. But, most of you will never find them because you think they're boring or "Too nice." Basically, the reason women keep getting cheated on is because women keep picking the wrong types of black men.


    It's no one's fault but your own. I can't tell you how many times I've seen profiles with women looking for a "nice guy with a little thug appeal..." Well, you want a little thug, you get a little thug behavior(or bad boy or what ever it is you'd like to call it).
    Get some kind of counseling to get past whatever it is in your past that makes you want to give your all to a brotha' with "playa" characteristics. Then find a good guy.


    Until then, you'll just continue to date the same guy, with a different face. Why keep making the same mistakes over and over again? Sure, it's OK when you're younger and you don't know any better, but a lot of you are over 30. And believe me when I tell you, there is nothing less attractive to a good man than a grown woman who's dated nothing but players. It speaks volumes about your emotional maturity. Plus, every time you set your self up to get cheated on, you lessen your chances of finding a good man. Why? Because, good black don't want to deal with all that extra luggage you're going to bring into a relationship due to your "thug lovin" past. And, God help you if you have kids by one of these guys. Especially, if you have multiple kids, by different fathers. Of course, each father will be either a player, thug or some combination of both...lol No good black wants to deal with all that. It's bad enough he has to deal with your emotional problems.


    Harsh? Yes, but I'm being real. You want your love life to be right, then get your mind, spirit and therefore maturity level right. Everything else will flow into place.


    You say you can't find a good black man, then that's on you. Not us.
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  • 35Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 22, 2013 at 10:48 PM


    I have to agree, there are tons of black men who are decent good looking brothers, as in all nationalities there are good apples and bad apples.  I also agree that if you have dated a black man who is of the thug life, than ladies after the break-up you really should take time to get your own thoughts and emotions figured out, and figure what kind if any problems you will bring moving onto another relationship.

    It's bad enough that some of our men have warped the ladies mind to where they loose all sence of self-worth, or lose their confendance in life.  Don't get me wrong ladies you can never get in a relationship and try to change a man, especially those that don't want to be changed, they that are being changed will think your trying to control, and that is the last thing a man wants is to lose that control.

    I'm just saying ladies, there are tons of good black men out there that don't cheat and takes his commitment serious, it's that were to nice are we don't fit the mold of what your looking for.  Ladies you need to ask yourself one question in life?  which is; what is it am I looking for in a relationship? once you figure that out, we will all be better for it.

  • View author's info Posted on Jan 29, 2012 at 12:46 PM


    Anyone here seen the new Michael Baisden video...?
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 31, 2011 at 03:11 PM


    My husband was a black man and the most honest man ever,never cheated.....I say was because he passed away two years ago.
    I wouldn't never stereotype anyone regardless of race or whatever,but I do believe in the Law of Attraction and if we put out negative vibes,we are bound to attract negativity.
    That is my humble opinion! There are lots of good men out there,white,black,whatever colour,but most are married or gay.Somehow I have not met yet a single one....
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 23, 2011 at 03:06 PM


    I don't date BM but several women that I know say that BM cheat a whole lot.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 17, 2010 at 08:56 PM


    Quoting LuvThighs:

    Hoorah for Samson!!! You hit it on the head. Nice guys do finish last!!



    not so, if men stop stereotyping what women want in a man, that would solve alot of problems. not all women want a thuggish man, if you think nice guys finish last, then just maybe its something you are doing to foul things up perhaps? Being insecure tends to do that very thing. Just look at how men in general are towards larger women; thinking that we're all doormats and easy. Nothing does it better for me than a nice guy.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 28, 2010 at 08:13 PM


    Women hit there peak I believe around 35.  But of course it varies.

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 28, 2010 at 08:09 PM


    Your comment is true to a certain point.  Yes, ladies if you want "thug" love you take the good with the bad.  Just be aware black men and men in general, with significant  financial status "may" have the same short commings.  But men be aware, women cheat just as well.

    As far as the cheating goes, try communicating with your partner if you suspect he maybe cheating.  Dont just assume, acusation can lead to cheating.  Find out what your partner like and dislikes when it comes to sex.  And in doing so, you might learn something new about yourself.  All men don't like the same thing when it comes the sex.  And men, the same goes for women.  Secondly, self respect (this should be number one).  Have respect for yourself.  Don't be acceptance of someone bad behavior.  It has a tendency to make an indivisual bitter  Dont carrie this bitterness into your next relationship, you may just loose a good man.

  • View author's info Posted on Jul 06, 2008 at 06:24 PM


    Quoting: Originally posted by samson7842

    'Of course, you could always just "settle." That's what older women do when they spend their good years chasing the wrong types of men. The years drag on. They get lonely, so they "settle" for what they can get. A lot of times they end up sharing a man because they get jaded and think, "A man will cheat anyway, so I might as well be with one who is upfront about it." Tick tock, my sister. Tick... tock.'


    Um, excuse me Samson,
    WHAT??? Good years??? Settling for what we can get??? Sharing a man??? Where do you get this stuff?

    I've enjoyed my life even more with each year. So, my good year is this one. And, I am not 'settling' for anyone. I was bombarded with men on this site contacting me and have changed my profile in part because it was overwhelming. Both 'players' and 'good men'. I would never share a man. Either he is all mine or not.


    p.s. Another piece of info - Women reach their sexual prime in their 40's.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 05, 2008 at 09:55 AM


    Hoorah for Samson!!! You hit it on the head. Nice guys do finish last!!
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 14, 2008 at 01:07 AM


    Women would not know a good man even they gave birth to one. They are ALL looking for that pretty boy thug type black guy. The guy they can show off to their friends, whereby she will introduces him and say "He's hot....Right ?"
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 18, 2007 at 10:51 AM


    WTF..What is up with you people,here it is again being put in the same bunch of Brother who MAYBE was not tought how to respect FRIST himself,then others not only women..I am a good looking guy,was in a relationship for 13yrs an I never Cheated..and our sex life sucked for the most part,but that was only a small part THEN..Did I ever cheat HELLL NO,Because thats not who I am,with a Mother the I respect,sister,daughter grandma that I have alwats respected,Why Because My dad and others shown me that thats the way it was....So please don't put my in that "ALL BLACK MAN" Bunch..My best friend from child hood is White and he has cheated,so let's not go there..Have I ever had a women Cheat on me..HELLLYEAH,ask my kids mother..am I angry..HELLLL NO!! that was over 20yrs ago and when it happen I fired her ass ;).

    I am not a Cheatter,and never have been..so PLEASE stop with the ALL statement. Step out of your BOX and find someone who is going to Respect you First,Or should I say..Respect your self first?
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 24, 2007 at 11:41 AM


    Ladybug2003 write:
    I never met a black man who wouldnt cheat, no matter if it was me or another one but they all cheated and it was quite interesting, to put it mildly to see that they do cheat and dont bother about it. Wonder if there is something related to culture or background but that's something to be studied....

    Re:





    If you've never met a black man who wouldn't cheat, then you are chasing the wrong black men. Look inwards.There is something going on there that is attracting you to those types of brothas'. How many black men have you met that you think are "too nice?" Those are the ones who won't cheat. But, you have to be emotionally ready for a good man. The clock is ticking. The more time you waste chasing cheaters, the less likely it is you'll ever find a keeper.

    Of course, you could always just "settle." That's what older women do when they spend their good years chasing the wrong types of men. The years drag on. They get lonely, so they "settle" for what they can get. A lot of times they end up sharing a man because they get jaded and think, "A man will cheat anyway, so I might as well be with one who is upfront about it." Tick tock, my sister. Tick... tock.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 21, 2007 at 03:21 PM


    Sobers!

    You are wrong.
    Our lives are not easy.

    It seems because of your bad experience(s) with women you put us all in one pot. That's wrong.
    If you hate women so much, why are you here on the site?
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 15, 2007 at 07:49 PM


    What we are talking about here is attraction. What make a women feel attraction for one man and not another. Women KNOW there are lots of good men out there but if this is not reflected in his looks, income or status then few women will be interested.

    Good men are abused by women so much it's not even funny. Women lives seem SO easy, they can pick and choose whatever man they want or don't want and we have sit and fight for their scare affactions.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 25, 2007 at 08:47 PM


    Ladybug2003 write:
    I never met a black man who wouldnt cheat, no matter if it was me or another one but they all cheated and it was quite interesting, to put it mildly to see that they do cheat and dont bother about it. Wonder if there is something related to culture or background but that's something to be studied....

    There's a rule that I've lived by for a while, and which I've seen another poster allude to here in the forums...

    ***If the same thing keeps happening to you over and over... maybe it's not other people "doing it to you", maybe to some degree you draw it to yourself, or you're looking for something which has a ripple effect on the other side of the pond, or (gasp) you drive them to it.***

    -------------------------------------

    I've seen statistics in the past that a majority of both men and women will cheat at some point in their lives, somewhat more men than women, and the women that cheat, cheat more often. That's from studies I've read about, not personal experience.

    Maybe you could find some statistical differences between cultures re: cheating... but there is NO way that a blanket generalization could be made saying that all men, or black men, or green women cheat. SOME people (one out of four men, I think) go through their lives and never cheat. I'm positive that includes some black men.

    I tell my kids that "always" or "never" don't happen very often.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 20, 2006 at 05:51 PM


    after reading the posts ...i laughed to myself...i found it interesting that both the guys and women are having the same problems...how can we bring them together...that's right a dating site....this is going to sound mean ...so head's up, SOMETIMES, when people use the term...u are so nice, i like u as a friend ( it comes down to, i'm not physically attracted to you) just sometimes, some women and i said SOME, are attracted to drama a.k.a bad boys but u know what SOME men love drama filled women, cause if it wasn't the case, you wouldn't be posting a blog about MOST women who are attracted to cheating men... JUST A THOUGHT
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 19, 2006 at 04:31 PM


    11 19 06

    Hey Samson,

    Man you are so right! Thanks for bringing this to light. I always get told that I am too nice and I will be "A good friend". But yet the men who mistreat their women (The "dogs") get all the women.

    Well I am not changing who or what I am,which is a damn good man. I will wait to find a lady that appreciates the fact that I will treat her with the utmost respect and dignity and HONESTY. I will look into her eyes KNOWING that I am giving her all my best that she deserves.And the love poems I write will be for her and about her.

    And If that is not good enough and she wants to call me dull and boring and wants to be with a "dog", then GO!!!!!!

    Thanks again man. And best wishes on your search.

    Lovepoet

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  • View author's info Posted on Jun 17, 2006 at 09:36 AM


    I have finally found someone who could enlighten me in several aspects about interracial relationships but this person has hidden his profile. Please Samson7842 come back I just want to talk to you if you have time and patience for me.
    Looking forward to talk to you,
    Olga
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 16, 2006 at 03:24 PM


    I do love your way of thinking, Samson. I don't know who you are and how old are you but I know for sure that I would like to have a man like you by my side.
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