Why'd U Go White (or Black)??? Romance Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 12, 2005 at 04:50 PM


    I am a BW and I have always been attracted to WM. I remember when I was a little girl a little White Boy on my school bus would pick me flowers out of his mothers rose garden and pass me little love notes(I love you. Do you love me?Check Yes or No) and I guess I have been hooked every since.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 12, 2005 at 10:18 AM


    I love your post Keihan and the idea that one can "record over" the old stuff.

    There's a talk show host I listen to who says...."don't want to hear it, don't want that on my harddrive."

    I've always told myself that I have a committee that lives in my head and I get to chose who's on that committee!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 12, 2005 at 09:09 AM


    naturelover write:
    I agree, Bigsam..Very well said.And to be honest, I don't care about color either. However, when one has several bad experiences with a group of men or women, be they black, white, yellow, whatever, they paint the entire group as being such. Is it unfair? Of course it is. Am I guilty, hell yes I am, and it's something I have personally come to grips and dealt with. For a long time, I held on to the notion that "All sistas have "tude", but I realize that is not true at all. I know that there are good and bad women in EVERY race. While not everyone feels that way and are jaded by negative experiences with certain groups, everyone has their own reasons for being here. Also, since I do date IR, that doesn't mean I have anything against BW, nor does it mean I have sworn them off. Hope I made sense.


    Brilliant post. Yes, I think we all have done this. I think it even happens within our own racial groups. For example, whites calling certain whites "rednecks" or "white trash".

    This is definately a human delemma and though we all have jumped the gun on a stereotype, it is what we do with those negative thoughts that better us. One day, I drove by these ruffian looking white guys and I mumbled "white trash" under my breath and my daughter corrected me. Of course I felt guilty for saying such a dumbass thing because it was an ignorant thing to say when I didn't even know those guys.

    I am constantly keeping myself in check and I have taught my children well (hence my daughter correcting my dumbass lol). These are often things however that I think lie in the subconsicious that have been handed down from previous generations or life experiences in our youth. It is difficult to get rid of all of them, it is like trying to erase a tape, you can never fully get rid of what was on it prior... something will always remain. However, we can record over it :D
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 11, 2005 at 07:29 PM


    solong write:
    I would have to say because I was a ho. Then I just got used to it.:)

    At least you are honest. Most guys aren't honest about their reasons.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 08, 2005 at 10:04 AM


    I would have to say because I was a ho. Then I just got used to it.:)
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 04, 2005 at 01:23 AM


    The main reason why i date black women is because they show me interest. If an attractive woman gives me a smile and a glance, im going to smile back lol i dont care what color they are.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 01, 2005 at 07:54 PM


    In my case, born & grew up in Berkeley, Ca...my step-father was Hawaiian. His 1st wife a member of the Warm Springs Tribe of eastern OR...I always dated who ever I liked, and it wasn't a big thing. I went to college in New Hampshire, not a lot choices that far northeast and it was always about the PERSON...If he was white, purple w/orange stripes...so be it.My heart's always been colour blind. Our family looked like the Rainbow Coalition...long before the term was used by Jesse jackson ~
    In my case, born & grew up in Berkeley, Ca...my step-father was Hawaiian. His 1st wife a member of the Warm Springs Tribe of eastern OR...I always dated who ever I liked, and it wasn't a big thing. I went to college in New Hampshire, not a lot choices that far northeast and it was always about the PERSON...If he was white, purple w/orange stripes...so be it.My heart's always been colour blind. Our family looked like the Rainbow Coalition...long before the term was used by Jesse jackson ~
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 30, 2005 at 10:09 AM


    I also have never considered the color of ones skin. However, I have always been attracted to dark hair and eyes. Many girls I knew wanted blond hair/blue eyes. It wasn't intill the last 4 years or so that I have been attracted to only black men. The ones I have met are very sensitive, caring, and want to please me not themselves. It has never been an issue of money, cars, houses, etc. It is more the personality and chemistry that attracts me to the men I want to be with.
    I also have never considered the color of ones skin. However, I have always been attracted to dark hair and eyes. Many girls I knew wanted blond hair/blue eyes. It wasn't intill the last 4 years or so that I have been attracted to only black men. The ones I have met are very sensitive, caring, and want to please me not themselves. It has never been an issue of money, cars, houses, etc. It is more the personality and chemistry that attracts me to the men I want to be with.

    Members Only

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 28, 2005 at 09:29 AM


    I grew up with a European family, but the people I had around most of the time were the servants, all Native like me. Somehow perhaps that tension between those two peoples coming in and out of my consciousness made me not to care about "race" as a pre-requisite for attraction.

    I care about a person's intelligence, though. That's my personal fetish.
    I grew up with a European family, but the people I had around most of the time were the servants, all Native like me. Somehow perhaps that tension between those two peoples coming in and out of my consciousness made me not to care about "race" as a pre-requisite for attraction.

    I care about a person's intelligence, though. That's my personal fetish.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 27, 2005 at 07:50 PM


    THIER HAVE BEEN A NUMBER OF REASONS FOR DATEING ONE RACE OR A ANOTHIER GIVEN.FOR MY SELF I AM NOT PICKING A RACE OR A COLOR I AM PICKING A WOMAN.SHE IS WHO SHE IS, SHE IS WHAT COLOR SHE IS. THE ONLY THING SHE HAD TO DO IS CATCH MY EYE.
    THIER HAVE BEEN A NUMBER OF REASONS FOR DATEING ONE RACE OR A ANOTHIER GIVEN.FOR MY SELF I AM NOT PICKING A RACE OR A COLOR I AM PICKING A WOMAN.SHE IS WHO SHE IS, SHE IS WHAT COLOR SHE IS. THE ONLY THING SHE HAD TO DO IS CATCH MY EYE.

    Members Only

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 26, 2005 at 01:02 AM


    I always had a attraction to white women growing up, but it wasn't until college when i hooked up with a very attractive red-head punk chick.
    and now many years later I have a unnatural attraction to redhead, women with piercings and/or tattoos.

    and for some reason I get a lil weak in the knees everytime I see a bottle of wesson oil, hrmmph go figure.
    I always had a attraction to white women growing up, but it wasn't until college when i hooked up with a very attractive red-head punk chick.
    and now many years later I have a unnatural attraction to redhead, women with piercings and/or tattoos.

    and for some reason I get a lil weak in the knees everytime I see a bottle of wesson oil, hrmmph go figure.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 15, 2005 at 09:40 PM


    From a purely biochemical point of view, humanity can be split neatly in two groups: the CYP-a and the CYP-b. In the first, you have both Africans and Caucasians. In the second, you have East Asians and Amerindians.

    There are many biochemical differences (notice: this is not directly related to evolutive differences) between both groups. One of the most well-researched is hormone levels.

    Caucasians and Africans have similar hormonal levels, for the most part. The charts for East Asians and Amerindians (that is, the ranges considered normal) are quite different.

    One of the big differences is with testosterone. It is no secret that both, Caucasians and Africans, have a much higher (about 15%) testosterone level as compared to East Asians and Amerindians. That explains (in part, at least) why East Asian, Hispanic (with a good percent of Amerindian genes) and Amerindian women look so "feminine," and also why even the males of those groups look somewhat feminine in the eyes of Africans and Caucasians.

    It's biochem, tested and proved.

    Even smaller testosterone differences within a group (CYP-a or CYP-b) influence perception. There is the usual perception that White men are "softer" as compared to Black men. Such is actually based on a small testosterone difference (about 4%) between one and the other.

    Since smell seems to play a very important role in the process of human mating, and the body odour caused by testosterone is definitely a turn-off (se'xually) for heterosexual males, and a turn-on for heterosexual females, that could also explain why certain pairings are more common than others.

    A pairing where the male belongs to a higher-testosterone group and the female belongs to a lower-testosterone group is much more likely than the opposite. Like it or not, we're conditioned by basic biology.

    Another of the differences has to do with HGH, which gives a different mineral density of bones and also often a much smaller frame to people from the CYP-b group.

    Now I'll crawl under my rock again, lol.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 15, 2005 at 06:53 PM


    Physical attraction: I don't necessarily prefer caucasian men as much as I prefer tall, fair-skinned men, with soft hair and soft colored eyes. I also enjoy the mild-mannered, and non-aggressive nature I more often find in Caucasian men. I have, however, met some Black men who were calm and mild-mannered and I was attracted to them. In the end, it's personality that makes me most compatible with a person.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 13, 2005 at 06:08 PM


    to be totally honest I have absolutely 0% preference in skin color.

    I have some preference in culture - but that is more about fitting me. I've found that I may match up more with Latinas or some black women, and of course some white. This is more about me being a little (or a lot) crazy.

    Just read the above and you know what? I'm full of it. I would just as soon date a native american or an Asian woman.

    If I'm with a woman she can be sure it's no infatuation of skin color or culture or other thing. I just love women.

    Damn, I could talk for days about how great women are, drool!
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 13, 2005 at 06:42 AM



    phea44 write:
    The title of this thread: "Why Did You Go White Or Black", seems quite silly to me. I almost didn't want to answer
    the question.

    My answer is, it started with a personal "sub-conscious preference." Back in college, as a freshman, I began to see the obvious
    differences in attitudes among women of various races and ethnicities. To my surprise, I discovered that the women who I had the most in common with just happened to be white women, and they were not always American women btw. I realized that many of the goals they had were quite similar to mine, and our conversations were almost always interesting and stimulating. They were the least likely to judge a man according to material possessions, social status, economics, etc. To be fair, I hung out with students of all races and ethnicities, but I noticed that I had more in common with white women than any other race. Just my own experience, that's all.
    My choice, I have to admit, was not always a conscious one,and we can't fight "chemistry", now can we.


    Your experiences sound similar to mine. And no, you can't fight chemistry.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 12, 2005 at 08:57 AM


    The title of this thread: "Why Did You Go White Or Black", seems quite silly to me. I almost didn't want to answer
    the question.

    My answer is, it started with a personal "sub-conscious preference." Back in college, as a freshman, I began to see the obvious
    differences in attitudes among women of various races and ethnicities. To my surprise, I discovered that the women who I had the most in common with just happened to be white women, and they were not always American women btw. I realized that many of the goals they had were quite similar to mine, and our conversations were almost always interesting and stimulating. They were the least likely to judge a man according to material possessions, social status, economics, etc. To be fair, I hung out with students of all races and ethnicities, but I noticed that I had more in common with white women than any other race. Just my own experience, that's all.
    My choice, I have to admit, was not always a conscious one,and we can't fight "chemistry", now can we.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 12, 2005 at 07:55 AM



    PDXmuse write:
    I met a man on the internet while I was picking up my emotional pieces after divorce. We talked for hours, cried together, laughed ourselves silly and shared alot of ourselves. About two weeks in to this cyber relationship we exchanged pictures....he was black. I was halfway in rebound love with him....but it made me think really hard about the qualities he had that appealed so strongly to me and I began dating black men after that.

    (ps, he remarried his ex-wife and I never met him in person)



    This was very interesting and like a real "blind date" for a couple of weeks. And the fact that it was the qualities and caliber of one man you found so appealing that completely changed your outlook is awesome.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 05, 2005 at 07:24 AM


    When I was in high school and college, white women did not seem concerned that I wasn't wearing the latest fashion or diriving the hottest cars. I was appreciated for who I was, not what I had or didn't have.

    That went over really well with me. I have carried that appreciation into my adult years.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 04, 2005 at 07:39 PM



    MeLLoDraMa write:
    We are all here at IRM because we have some attraction to another race whatever it may be.. I'm curious to know what made you step outside your race from the jump and what made it stick??

    Easy. There are virtually no people of my "race" in this continent, so I have little choice but to date interracially.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 04, 2005 at 07:14 PM


    I met a man on the internet while I was picking up my emotional pieces after divorce. We talked for hours, cried together, laughed ourselves silly and shared alot of ourselves. About two weeks in to this cyber relationship we exchanged pictures....he was black. I was halfway in rebound love with him....but it made me think really hard about the qualities he had that appealed so strongly to me and I began dating black men after that.

    (ps, he remarried his ex-wife and I never met him in person)
Follow - email me when people comment