I never really understood the Problem about interracial Dating at all. As a matter of fact, my mom always taught me, that everybody is equal, no matter what somebody looks like. We had an interracial Couple in the Neighbourhood, he was a Psychologist in the Army, I guess and she had something to with Hotels, as far as I can remember. Anyways, I always used to babysit their little Daughter and we always said, how gorgeous this family is and what a great relationship they had because they had a Harmony that lightened up every room.
But as I grew up and got in Touch with the Internet and all that, I really was shocked how much Hate is out there. Sure, we got some strange looks when I dated an african boy when I was a Teenager but I was like "Who cares? This is my life". I was attracted to him on many levels and I have to say, he was beautiful on the inside, aswell as on the outside, so I fell in Love with him.
I really think that People who are stil ranting about interracial Dating, dont love themselves at all. If you know Love and love yourself, you dont care what Ethnicity soebody is, it just doesn't matter. In fact, I am happy for each and every couple I see out there, no matter where they come from. When I see them holding hands, being happy, I'm happy for them, too because at the End of the Day, this is what this Earth and everyone on it needs: Love.
I am so jealous at the brother who will attract your attention and interest. (Now back to the forum...)
There is rascism and prejudice in every city in the States, as well as within every ethnic community (African American hating West Indians; Chinese hating Vietnamese; WASPs hating Jews, etc). The key is not to waste one's time dwelling on such stupidity.
The bad news is it happens, the good news its a 'helluva' better (and safer) than 30 or 40 years ago and is getting better all the time. To a large extent it depends on where you live. People are far more accustomed to seeing interracial couples in Philadelphia Pa, as opposed to Philadelphia, Ms. Los Angeles is one of the more open cities I've been in for all kinds of relationships.
By staying strong in your own relationship you make it easier for those that will come after you just as those that were involve in interracial relationships in the '60s and '70s made it a little easier for you to have one now.
I had a history teacher in college who was awesome. He explained that slavery was based on fear and the need to control the black men because of the white man's fear of inadequacy.
A man's immortality is tied to their name and their need to procreate. They feared losing their women to the "ahem endowements" of the black men and their sultry sexuality. They tied the connotation to the Bible that "white" is holy, "black" as the opposite of holy. White men feared the black men so they had to oppress them. And in hundreds of years, not much has changed.
We don?t see this kind of prejudice with other races, like Asian cultures who are prospering in technology and business. We have not tried to oppress the Hispanic cultures, or middle eastern etc..
since i am married to a white man, i see nothing wrong with interracial dating. we were at a party the other day with 3 other wm/af couples, 2 bm/af couples, 2 wm/bf couples, 1 bm/wf couple and 3 wm/wf couples. that is what the world is moving toward.
I dont have a problem with interracial dating. If two people no matter what there color as long as they love each other who cares what anybody thinks.
I love diverisity, we all can learn something from one another. We can love one another. And I agree racism is taught we are not born with it. Some of my best friends were men of color and treated me with respect more then I can say for the white dudes out there.
The bad news is you're right! The good news is, WHO CARES?! Not to marginalize your point - but yep, there are still some knuckle dragging cromagnons who point and stare when we date "outside of our race".
Frankly, I'm thankful that so many of you ladies are willing to follow your hearts, instead of the dictates of someone Else's arbitrary idea of what is "right". And while I'm on my soap box, where are you ladies in the St. Louis County area. (hint - hint) I'm glad that you're all here, but I really want to meet those in St. Louis County. My apologies for staying away from the site for so long.
I feel like it doesn't matter, the way you feel about someone should mean more than just the color of your skin. I feel like if you love the person, who cares. It doesn't matter what others think as long as the both of you are happy. Thats the way I feel because I myself am white, but my fiance' is Black and we have the greatest relationship ever. We don't care what others say when we walk around holding hands and doing all the other things you do with your love one. All im sayin is if you dont like keep the comments to your self or just turn your head because I could care less....
I believe it depends on where u live ... as i stated in a previous thread ..interracial dating is pretty common here...it's so common that there's definitely a shortage in males. joking ...there are still some of the older folks who have issues with it but they tend to be EUROPEAN (GREEK, ITALIAN)etc... but even the Italians are coming around ... i remember when i was dating my ex who was Greek, the stares we would get, only came from strangers, when we visited New jersey, it was weird and awkward but it made us appreciate Montreal's diversity even more.... i couldn't care less who someone is dating, my business is finding someone of my own... it takes time and willingness of eager parties to stand up for what they believe in...fight animosity with education .. u will be surprise how much that can change a viewpoint ...for those who wish to be ignorant that's their lives ..they can either accept it or move on ... my motto -it's my life, u live yours and I'll live mine.
mellow007 write: I really take offense to the fact that everyone thinks that 'mainly' or 'particularly' or 'mostly' Black women get upset at Interracial dating. Well, let me tell you, Black men don't like it, either....... They're just not as vocal about it as women are.
I have been out with white girls so many times, dancing,dining, traveling or sometimes at the beach and would always get some attention from all groups. Maybe they like what they see!
The question is: Do you believe a bias against interracial dating still exists. Says you What?
I have a friend that once told me she didn't think twice when she saw a white woman with a black man...but she cringed when she saw a black woman with a white man. She is allowed to have that opinion, I do remember saying something along the lines of, "what the hell is wrong with you?" lol.
She does not date outside her race. She cannot imagine a white man dating anyone else but someone that looks like her. To me that is a biased opinion...big time. I think that people like this don't even "look" at someone outside their race. They don't see them as attractive because they don't want to.
I think the tabu of interracial dating lies mostly in the black male/white female still to this day. I think other races mixing are more accepted. You see them on tv shows, movies, etc.
I think the bias comes from all sides of the cube pretty equally. I've been sitting in a restaurant with a man and had a black male approach us and ask him to take me somewhere else to eat because he didn't want to subject his wife and children to him selling his azz out by being with me. Of course we just acted as though he wasn't there after we stated we'd be finishing our dinner. (really I think we were there for the cheesecake, no dinner was on our table that night!! haha)
Most black men I have dated have sisters that do not like him with me or have issues with it. "Why can't you date a nice black woman?" You hear that alot. I have a few men in my family that aren't too hip on the idea that I am dating interracially...a (white) man I work with takes a shot at it regularly. Of course his friend (white male)sitting one office over is married to a black woman. What's the difference?
It's not going to change and whoever said it was getting better is silly. Maybe this new generation is more open to mixing....but remember racism and hate are taught, you aren't born with it. Those 70 & 80 somethings are teaching and passing their wisdom along to that generation.....
Mellow, I definately believe there is still a bias relating to inter-raacial dating. Maybe not as much with middle age or younger people. But with people in there 70's and 80's. When I would go out with my man we would see the stares,the pointing, and talking as we walked by. In fact I believe it bothered him more then me. Which I don't understand as we are all created equal.I always treat everyone the same. As I don't see the color of a person's skin but what is in their heart.