Is it true most caucasian men... Romance Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Sep 08, 2005 at 06:48 PM



    jdavis123 write:
    Sentoryu - agreed

    Diana - I do agree with you. But the question on this topic was about the man seeking out a trophy wife. This implies the man sees her as that.

    But what you are saying still makes sense.


    No guy will ever admit to marrying a trophy wife. Besides love can grow anywhere if it's nutured properly. That's why I said I wish my guy would come to me and I don't really care what his perceptions of me may be... Just give me half a chance. And I believe anyone would be open and receptive to this. Men and women have been known to change. Love can work miracles.

    I can be your trophy wife!

    I can be your super woman!

    Whatever!

    It's all an opportunity which at least gives you a chance. Else women would never go through painful surgeries and the like.

    We just want to be loved we don't care what it looks like on the outside or what people say!
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 08, 2005 at 03:12 PM


    Sentoryu - agreed

    Diana - I do agree with you. But the question on this topic was about the man seeking out a trophy wife. This implies the man sees her as that.

    But what you are saying still makes sense.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 08, 2005 at 12:21 PM



    jdavis123 write:
    Diana - I would love to marry Halle for love ;)

    I am not saying it is not possible for a white person to marry a black woman as a trophy wife. I'm just saying the people who would do this would probably prefer a white woman. Of course I am only guessing as I don't really know what goes on in their heads.

    I am not saying racism is rampant. Or that other people won't accept mixed couples. I am just guessing that people that want trophy wives - they are very sensitive to how everyone sees them (why else have a trophy wife?). And I think/guess they would be afraid of other white people looking down on them. Sure there are exceptions, always will be.

    But I guess this all depends on how each one of us interprets 'trophy wife'.


    A trophy wife doesn't mean you don't love her. You may not view her as a trophy wife to you she may just be the most beautiful woman in the world. But to someone else looking from the outside in....
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 08, 2005 at 01:28 AM



    jdavis123 write:
    Diana - I would love to marry Halle for love ;)

    I am not saying it is not possible for a white person to marry a black woman as a trophy wife. I'm just saying the people who would do this would probably prefer a white woman. Of course I am only guessing as I don't really know what goes on in their heads.

    I am not saying racism is rampant. Or that other people won't accept mixed couples. I am just guessing that people that want trophy wives - they are very sensitive to how everyone sees them (why else have a trophy wife?). And I think/guess they would be afraid of other white people looking down on them. Sure there are exceptions, always will be.

    But I guess this all depends on how each one of us interprets 'trophy wife'.



    True, and one of the ways I see it is that Sometimes Men will take a woman of a different color to be Controversial, REBEL aginst the Norm Just to be different... OR to prove they are not racist... But then I guess that can go for other races as well...

    I think I understand that you say a White man would be less likely to take a Black woman as a trophy whife in it's COMMON definition due to traditional views on race mixing especially for men. But.... then they can have a whole different list of other reasons why she would be a trophy or just something to flaunt....
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 06, 2005 at 05:41 PM


    Diana - I would love to marry Halle for love ;)

    I am not saying it is not possible for a white person to marry a black woman as a trophy wife. I'm just saying the people who would do this would probably prefer a white woman. Of course I am only guessing as I don't really know what goes on in their heads.

    I am not saying racism is rampant. Or that other people won't accept mixed couples. I am just guessing that people that want trophy wives - they are very sensitive to how everyone sees them (why else have a trophy wife?). And I think/guess they would be afraid of other white people looking down on them. Sure there are exceptions, always will be.

    But I guess this all depends on how each one of us interprets 'trophy wife'.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 06, 2005 at 10:09 AM



    Diana007 write:
    If a white guy married Halle Berry do you think he'd be marrying her for love?



    Well, that would all depend on the Man Marrying her wouldn't it?
    But then that would go for ANY man. YES it is possible that a White man would Marry Halle Berry for love, Just as possible as there are Black Men that might consider her just a Trophy.

    Color does not dictate WHY a man does or does not marry a person...

    I would question any man's intentions towards a beautiful Rich woman like Halle Berry. I mean not to be Synical cause I know Love exists, but be he Black, White, Green, or Purple... Halle would make a great trophy for any color man if that what HE is looking for....

    But then Halle is a Celeb and she is smart... I have a strong feeling that she would not allow it LOL.

    I do think what I understand the post below to say is that Most White men would not consider a black woman a trophy to Display due to RACISIM and the ridicule they would receive if they (White men) are with Black women???
    Flip that around... Do you think that Racism inhibits White Women from being Trophies to Some Black men?
    I don't think that (Racism) really ever stopped anyone before. During Slavery times quite often the women were used just as that, a trophy.
    And look at the times during Civil Rights Movement... Many Black Men Had White women "TROPHIES" So I really don't buy that as being a factor.

    I am not sure cause I have seen people take this term and use it as a bad thing and as a good thing... To me it has a Negative meaning and not meant as something to be proud of. Kind of the same thing as "ARM CANDY"

    Disclaimer: I am not hating Generalizing or Disrespecting anyone, individual or group. There is no hidden meaning or criptic message. If you are offended by anything I have said Please understand that it is not my intention.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 06, 2005 at 05:37 AM



    jdavis123 write:
    A trophy wife is all about being there for your looks alone and not really caring about your personality, character, etc. Kind of 'just look good, keep quiet, and shut up' attitude.

    I think a man that wants you for looks etc., but also treats you right, wants you to be independent, loves you for yourself === this is a totally different thing.

    According to my (and probably wrong) definition most white men would not want a black trophy wife. This would be because the wife was there as a status symbol. While people are much more open-minded now there still is racism.

    I hope this doesn't bother you too much though as I hope you would never want to be a trophy wife. Yes, you should be proud of your looks. And the man should show you off proudly. But there should be more to the relationship. I hope.

    If you don't agree I will gladly refund you the $0.02, ;)

    In Canadian funds of course!


    If a white guy married Halle Berry do you think he'd be marrying her for love?
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 05, 2005 at 09:58 PM


    A trophy wife is all about being there for your looks alone and not really caring about your personality, character, etc. Kind of 'just look good, keep quiet, and shut up' attitude.

    I think a man that wants you for looks etc., but also treats you right, wants you to be independent, loves you for yourself === this is a totally different thing.

    According to my (and probably wrong) definition most white men would not want a black trophy wife. This would be because the wife was there as a status symbol. While people are much more open-minded now there still is racism.

    I hope this doesn't bother you too much though as I hope you would never want to be a trophy wife. Yes, you should be proud of your looks. And the man should show you off proudly. But there should be more to the relationship. I hope.

    If you don't agree I will gladly refund you the $0.02, ;)

    In Canadian funds of course!
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 04, 2005 at 02:33 AM


    Being a trophy wife can be very pleasureable! What is wrong with it? He finds you so attrative, that he flaunts you?

    Black men have used me for a tropy girlfriend many times. Tophy wives are turn-ons for your man's friends, if thry like sexy white, give it to them.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 02, 2005 at 06:09 PM



    Diana007 write:

    Hopeful thank you for your very, very kind words.



    I must reiterate what Hopeful said.

    Diana, you are lookin' MARVELOUS, hun!
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 02, 2005 at 01:20 PM


    Hi all! I'm new here and this looked like a good topic for a first post. Cocoabutter, I think the reason many (but obviously not all, as this and other sites prove) white men have a problem with interracial relationships is one of expectations; to wit, our parents and society expect us to marry within our own race, and in some cases even within our own specific nationality within that race. I don't believe this is always motivated by racism, as tradition can also have a powerful grip on people as well. Add in peer pressure, not willing to deal with your family's/friend's acceptance, stares on the street, etc., etc., and you get the picture. The ugly truth about some (but not all) white guys is this; black women are good enough to bed, but not to wed. Fortunately I am free of all the aforementioned hang ups, my friends and family know what I prefer and accept it. I was married to a bueatiful mixed race woman who I have a wonderful son with, and my parents adored, and still do adore her. Ah, we were too young... We have a good relationship now tho.

    As far as a Trophy Wife. Well, a beautiful black, hispanic or asian woman could just as easily be a trophy wife. Trophy wife's are about how they make you look in public, not how they make you feel(re; in love). As far as "thin blondes" go, I prefer a woman who looks like she eats at least a couple of times a day, and not just salads!
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 31, 2005 at 12:41 PM


    Hi Cocoabutter, I know this dialouge has been beaten to death,but I would like to chime in. For several years I have come to realize that black women are very beautiful. Thanks to Donna Summer,Alycia Keys,ect.What makes them atractive is not only physical, but by being articulate, and caring about the image they portray, makes all women of color beautiful. I am searching for a woman of color not to be a "trophy", but because I believe she could fulfill something missing that caucasian women have not been able to. I choose to have a slender or athletic built woman because I am slender150#,not because she is a status symbol for white america. Don't get sour about dating outside of your race. Men aren't perfect nor are all women,Regardless of race. Good Luck........
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 31, 2005 at 06:18 AM



    hopeful2findu write:
    Diana,

    I must say that you are looking absolutely wonderful in the new photo and will go one step further in saying that someone will indeed come along and sweep you off your feet, perhaps even have a most delightful trophy wife. For this I do know to be a fact; whoever is fortunate enough to have you in their life in any capacity will truly be one very blessed individual, no doubt.


    Hopeful thank you for your very, very kind words.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 31, 2005 at 06:16 AM



    Samantha451 write:
    Diana,
    I'm not so sure the term Trophy Wife is intended to be a term of disrespect for a beautiful woman who probably has very real & deeply sincere feelings for her hubby, so much as it is a term of pity (??) for the terribly insecure man that's involved, much as wolvarine's post alluded to.
    Pity because bright shiny new toys soon lose their attraction for kids with such short attention spans.
    They feel compelled to be the boy on the block with the latest model.... um... model?? lol
    Well the pathetic things will never experiencing anything deeper in a relationship.
    And I say this knowing full well that many women do the reciprocal Trophy Hubby thingy. i.e., "My hubby's bank account is bigger than your hubby's." Which is also every bit as pathetic.

    But Diana if you do decide to go the Trophy Wife route, settle for nothing less than a 3.5 carat stone - preferably in a trendy designer color & cut.
    LOL


    Abolutely! I sure will be looking for that beautiful ring. But on a more real note I doubt seriously if it will ever happen to a hard working woman such as myself. But I did have a wonderful time imaginining it. I have worked from the time I was 14 years old. And even when I was married I earned more money. And when I realized I was going to be alone for quite possibly a very long time I decided to have an addition added to my house that has a jacuzzi, gym and private sitting room. Because I do love the finer things in life and I can't wait for someone else to find me and give them to me. Because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 30, 2005 at 08:44 PM


    Diana,

    I must say that you are looking absolutely wonderful in the new photo and will go one step further in saying that someone will indeed come along and sweep you off your feet, perhaps even have a most delightful trophy wife. For this I do know to be a fact; whoever is fortunate enough to have you in their life in any capacity will truly be one very blessed individual, no doubt.

    And thank you Silver for all the kind words, as I have sorely missed so very many of you fine folks here. I will do my utmost best to try and check in more often.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 30, 2005 at 01:08 PM


    Diana,
    I'm not so sure the term Trophy Wife is intended to be a term of disrespect for a beautiful woman who probably has very real & deeply sincere feelings for her hubby, so much as it is a term of pity (??) for the terribly insecure man that's involved, much as wolvarine's post alluded to.
    Pity because bright shiny new toys soon lose their attraction for kids with such short attention spans.
    They feel compelled to be the boy on the block with the latest model.... um... model?? lol
    Well the pathetic things will never experiencing anything deeper in a relationship.
    And I say this knowing full well that many women do the reciprocal Trophy Hubby thingy. i.e., "My hubby's bank account is bigger than your hubby's." Which is also every bit as pathetic.

    But Diana if you do decide to go the Trophy Wife route, settle for nothing less than a 3.5 carat stone - preferably in a trendy designer color & cut.
    LOL
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 30, 2005 at 12:20 PM


    I think of a "Trophy Wife" as something to be Displayed and have others look at and perhaps feel envious about....

    In that case you are seeking to satify others or allowing others to dictate who you are with. Most often these relationships fail or result in the Man finding someone to cheat with.

    I want a beautiful woman. So long as she is beautiful to me it doesn't matter what others think of her. I am not the jealous type (well not much anyway) I don't mind if other guys look. In fact If other guys LOOK just make me feel even that much more proud to have such a beautiful woman loving me.
    It is just a SHALLOW way to treat someone. I mean it is more like she would be an OBJECT than a person. THAT IS JUST not good.

    The Women who gets my heart would never feel like a trophy but She would get spoiled VERY much NOT as compensation for the lacking of other REAL feelings But Just cause I LOVE HER and that's what I DO.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 30, 2005 at 05:35 AM



    cocoabutter415 write:
    Is it true most caucasian men have a hard time stepping into interracial relationships because they seek out a "trophy wife"?

    Usually trophy wives are depicted as these hot thin blondes with a bubble for brains.

    What is your idea of a trophy wife?(looks, intelligence, personality, etc.)


    Can a black woman be a trophy wife?

    If so I would love to be one... romance me, buy me nice things, h*ll I will even don a wig if need be. (lol)

    But the real truth is this... if a guy is used to taking good care of his woman or wife and she just happens to be beautiful?

    Why should that make her a trophy wife? That is a term that society has used to label beautiful women and it should be outlawed!

    But still if a guy wants to do me like that than YES feel free. And I dont care what people say. I build my own life and my own relationship. And while Im being wined, dined and pampered please dont hate a sister for enjoying it!
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 30, 2005 at 05:09 AM


    I agree Sivler, Where were the 20 Yo Women like Cocoabutter when I was 20? LOL.

    I agree with her too... I lived in SanDiego in Lajolla... and if you know anything about that place you know it is quite snobby. I am originally from the East Coast so I was very surprised at how the people in general were. The closer you got to LA the more pronounced this manner of people were. I would Visit Santa Barbara a lot while I was there which was fine and seemed the further North you went from LA the Less snobby people you found.

    But then you have to deal with Other kinds of people.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 29, 2005 at 10:45 PM


    I understand but I can definitely pull a difference from southern cal and northern. People are a lot more shallow in souther cal, that's not to say people who were born and raised in Northern call can't be shallow, it's just we are not as consumed with feeding into media image as southern california is. I've lived in southern cali, so I'm not "disrespecting" it. But every place has it's differences and that's the diffrence between our north and south.
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