This is an inward and onward journey of ones self, first off. To truly know ones needs (not necessarily wants) one must first learn and discover her own true self. It's not as simple as say ...ok, what makes me tick momentarily? Instead it is things such as why does this one want this? What appeals about it? Is it necessary? Does it give one deep and true pleasure and or happiness? What about contentment? Is it really ones true self or is it peer pressures? Is it lasting with lasting effects?
For what one wants may only be a temporary lust and instant gratification and may not be exactly truly what is needed at all.
This is why so many are truly unhappy...they just go where they might momentarily have a frill and or recognition but soon get bored when things are not going their way and/or it's no longer frilling and they start feeling neglected, abandoned, and ignored.
It's also true that the male species is a very primal being, holding them to just one is very difficult and denies them. In your own self discoveries become more open, more acceptable to different things. Not just thinking of ones self but of that primal being in your life. Learn to be pleasing to them while pleasing yourself at the same time. Do not take anything for granted or assumingly. Yes, it can be a struggle and hard work but the rewards are endless.
This one has learned she must first know what she clearly seeks for no one else can help her in this quest (and it's a never ending progress). They can try but in the end doing as others might suggest can only add to ones misery. If it's not her true desire, need, but instead a momentary want lustful decision). And why settle for that?