Requesting a woman's response Do women even really know what they want?

  • View author's info Posted on Jul 19, 2008 at 08:16 AM

    Many times the question is asked, "What do women want?" The answers generated are just as numerous: A sensitive guy, security, an aggressive guy, confidence, humble, a Thug, goes on and on. I think the problem is that unless a woman can clearly communicate what she is looking for in a guy we will never know. That is the most frustrating of all experiences. Think about it. If a woman wants a THUG and you cry at the thought of the movie Bambi, its probably not the best match. So Ladies, can you please let a guy know what you are looking for before he invests his time, money, and emotions in you? Please add more of your thoughts to this topics because there is at least 1 guy who wants to know what you really think.
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  • View author's info Posted on Mar 29, 2014 at 09:27 AM

    When I knew that I was open to the possibility of a long term/intimate relationship, I invested the time in creating a profile that would address who I am, what I am about, and what I seek in a partner.  When a man sends me a well thought email, I know he has read my profile and we have some things in common.  It proceeds forward from there.  The communication that follows is what determines whether or not it is a potential match.   It really depends on what one is looking for in terms of the quality of a relationship, and whether it is dating (having fun), or more long term.

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  • View author's info Posted on May 31, 2010 at 03:46 AM

    The old question, "what do you want" or "what are you looking for"
    is just talk. Most people want to meet and see if there is something there and if there is then go from there and progress however it works. How do you expect someone to talk intimacy and personal till they are comfortable with you ?

    I am sick and tired of all the hypotheticals accepted as reality.
    Do iwant to settle down ? Am I honest ? A dog ? Kind ? well it all depends on who I am with and how we relate. There are a lot of factors that you must consider otherwise we are objectifying each other as men or women ..period.

    I wont fit into your neat little defintion, you will be disappointed and I have a lot of mystique for you to explore and unravel. That is what makes a relationship...the discovery of each other.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 11, 2009 at 08:00 AM

    Hello all...

    This question has a simple answer- the isn't one! Like BeyondDreams said every woman is different. While a man is easy to figure out but you can tell a woman what you want and IT DOES NOT CHANGE! We, the female species we often change our minds concerning what we want and although it is tedious and can be quite frustrating men- you need be willing to learn your girl. And even married mean are still learning their wives because we are very complicated. So again, if you love her learn her, observe her, watch her. I can tell you however what women do NOT want: an abusive man and "when the purpose of something is unknown then abuse is inevitable." (Dr. Myles Munroe) So just learn the purpose of a woman (hint: Husbands love your wives).
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 26, 2009 at 09:12 AM

    Hi there, maybe there is a certain amount of truth in what you say about many women looking for a thug component in a relationship, could be a "basic instinct" though personally, I think this can get mixed up with women who are looking for a strong confident man with wome ooomph to his character, certainly no violence. the opinion of one woman anyway.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 14, 2008 at 01:13 AM

    To ask "what do WOMEN want" tends to lump all women in the same group as if we are all monlithic thinkers. Each woman wants what she wants period. The same applies to each man. I'm sure even you have preferences that you refuse to deviate from.

    I know what I want. I'm even more certain about what I want after experiencing undesirable characteristics from ill-fitted suitors. When you get passed looks character really does matter. I give looks a quick once over, but it's those things that lie beneath the surface that can be deal breakers.

    Everyone isn't compatible with everyone that they meet.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 23, 2008 at 08:19 PM

    Having read the last few replies, I guess that old saying is true: "Nice guys finish last." ~ That's all I hear from my female co-workers. Of course, they're much younger than myself...but they really want a thug. In fact, every other woman I run into these days wants a THUG! How original is that? I guess that's why I tend to date much older.

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  • View author's info Posted on Jul 25, 2008 at 11:14 AM

    Firstly, I think that most of us women are feeling creatures. In other words, we know in our hearts what we need and often it is a combination of things. So, I agree we do need to communicate this to guys, but sometimes it's hard to put into words. I, for one, am trying to do a better job of it.

    That being said, I believe that guys are just as confusing. You want pretty and smart, but don't like when your girl gets attention from other men or when she is too smart because guys will accuse her of trying to be the man in the relationship. You want someone who is sexy at home, but not appear that way in public. The problem is sometimes the woman with class that seems like the "girl next door" is the most sensual woman in world. But you guys will never know because you are looking at the trashy girl with the too short skirt.

    So, please guys, can you be a bit clearer too? Also, I know you guys are visual by nature, but don't miss the forest for the trees because you just may plain miss out : )

    P.S. A thug is NEVER good. A little bit of a bad-boy can be cute, but, ladies, a thug is just trouble!
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 21, 2008 at 10:34 PM

    Good response. I am feeling you to an extent. I think that wanting certain attributes are cool but be careful what you wish for because you might get it. Yep, you and the THUG you want are walking down the street and you wonder why you just got sprayed with bullets. J/K. Seriously, I get the balance thing but at the same time often it appears that women say they want one thing but want another and then the guy is confused as all hell. I am just suggesting that women speak their minds and not be shy. I know there are a great many of you who already do (and I thank you for that) but those who don't should adopt the practice.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 20, 2008 at 06:49 PM

    I've never posted anywhere before so I apologize now if I get mixed up or confusing. Ever notice all the womens' shoes in a shoe store? High heels, flats, wedge, platform, walking shoes, running shoes, lace up, zip up, red, black... we all want Heelys. ;) I think women are looking for a multi-faceted man for each of their split personalities. Ludacris said it best, "I want a lady in the street but a freak in the sheets." We want what we want when we want, without being too much of an obsessive, domineering, control freak. For instance, I want a thug but not sitting next to me for Easter Sunday dinner @ my gram's house mad-dogging my cousin. I want a sensitive guy who might cry watching "Bambi" as long as he's not crying louder than the movie. It's about balance. I believe that's the key. Every person has a limit. I think that as long as people are within eachother's limit of tolerance, understanding, & patience, things have a better chance of working out. In the end, as long as you are you, the woman who truly deserves you, & vice versa, will recognize what she wants in you.