Are white men just afraid to ask black women out? INFO CONCERNING BLACK PEOPLE Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Sep 04, 2008 at 03:21 PM


    I have a distorted view of white-white relationships from my past experiences, bad ones. I do think this may well also go to how each of the two female prototypes are raised and I have asked some of my Black ( non-romantic ) female friends as to the why to gain this perception.

    I now think Black mothers raise girls differently than boys. I know this is true of white socially upwardly mobile mothers as well. In that situation we White males are raised to "provide"; white girls, while also self- sufficient, are raised to "expect" as a matter of course. The statistically disproportionate numbers of single Black parents goes into this as well. I would like to analyze this from input from others here, but this is MY belief. The strong Black woman raises her son one way and her daughter more "outer-directly".

    Black women are as has been said, much more loyal. I just never believed that a Black woman can have a romantic interest in me because of this: their mother has instilled this loyalty in them as an instinct... and it is obvious.

    The socially quoted mumbers are like 10-1 for BM-WF. But, I see a socially motivated change coming. Every, I mean well almost every, peer of mine (WM)still with his wife is unhappy. I think there is a shortqage of ready Black provider males for Black females. Thus we have an obvious migration coming and the BF-WM relationship has to happen- especially for younger Black females and older newly unattached, affluent White males, who are willing to provide well, help raise any children, and treat their Black significant-other as a queen. My analysis, flame away. I am not denegrating BMes here, not my intention, just my perceptions.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 11, 2008 at 06:45 PM


    I can only go from personal experience. It may well be a different situation here in Australia since there is a more open embrace generally of multicultural relationships arguably than some parts of the US from what I can see. I actually prefer and am far more attracted to the notion of a multicultural relationship - been in a couple and it was fantastic all ways. I actually have little interest in "white girl" relationships, despite positive personalities etc. I've been there many times and find it comparatively "ordinary" and predictable - likely to be just me. So I guess it really comes down to personal taste, racial respect and a willingness to connect. Only problem is comparatively there's not so many opportunities to meet fantastic "black girls" here - move to the US??? Cheers

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  • View author's info Posted on Jul 30, 2007 at 09:25 PM


    Yes this is absolutly true for most White boys. They would prefer to daydream about you but they don't posess sufficient guts to ask a black lady out, especially if she is drop dead gorgeous. They tend to allow insecurity to rob them of a spendid golden opportunity .
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 27, 2007 at 09:23 AM


    Are all black men well endowed? Sorry, but that is so true. Me and my girlfriends always laugh about the particular myth. And I think that while there is some truth in most stereotypes there is also alot of false information. People are individuals who regardless of skin colour are shaped by experience, more that race or skin colour. In my opinion.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 27, 2007 at 06:29 AM


    I am not American so maybe I have a different outlook on the topic. On the issue of black women not dating white men. I think some of it is that black women are too loyal to black men.

    History does play a role, the whole concept of forced sexual intercourse during slavery, is a huge part of it. I think black woman don't like to be pushed, or forced into anything and they definately don't like to be told what to do.

    The whole sterotype of black women being forceful and loud has some truth to it. During slavery, they had to just shut up and take it. Now they don't have to and some black women tend to push before they are themselves pushed. Its call being on the defensive.

    As a black woman, I meet some white men that are great that I would definately date. If they ask me out I definately go. But men being men, regardless of skin colour, some just want sex. I hope this helped.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 26, 2007 at 04:56 AM


    I personaly can't see a problem. We all have feelings and emotions. Black, white yellow or brown, we can all be atracted to someone of a diferent race, if they are atracted to you then why not. In my life I have had many relationships with many who are not of my culture or colour and it has been a wonderful experience of life.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 21, 2007 at 07:46 AM


    For the most part, I usually end up dating women that ask me out, 'cause assertiveness really turns me on. I guess I am just that attractive (woo-hoo) that I can get away with that. However, it screws me because the only kind of girls that hit on me are white girls.
    I'm amazingly attracted to black women, but they never really hit on me, or flirt with me when I go out. Maybe I just don't notice it, but it seems like the black girls that I run into don't give me any signals that they're into me.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 20, 2007 at 05:16 AM


    I want more personally I can't be with a woman too long if I cannot have any meaningful dialog I am sometimes intimidated by how pretty a woman is but not her skin color.Even then I have learned that you don't let it stop you ,You ask anyway sometimes you get shot down some times not
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 20, 2007 at 05:07 AM


    It took a while for a couple of them to take me seriously we were in the south but I tried since high school Al Not all of us The last 2 or 3women a dated were Black and one of them lasted almost 5years We were on a whole different level I would have married her I loved her children and they liked my daughter unfortunately she got really ill really fast so thats not the case any more but I learned many things from her she was 36 I am33 but i love black women I tend to just find them more attractive and more fun to be with no offense to the white Lady's I'm just prefer a Black Queen

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  • View author's info Posted on Jul 11, 2007 at 02:09 AM


    This topic has been covered before on this forum, but it is a most interesting topic. There are quite a large number of non black people who don't really know black people in general or black women in particular on a personal level, so the only depiction they see is likely from the media(to a great extent anyway). Hollywood has done a great disservice in this regard. Most black female(t.v./film) characters of the past usually comform to the stereotypical roles of the LOUD MOUTHED BELLIGERANT and INTIMIDATING types of women. These types of characters don't smile much and are usually quite challenging to the male gender(of any color).

    In all honesty, I have met many black women in the REAL WORLD who conformed to many of the stereotypes depicted in past television shows and films.

    So given these stereotypes and some not so stereotypcial behavioral realities, many(probably most) white men are pretty darned intimated by black women in general. What a shame, since not all white women are the same, it would stand to reason that not all black women are the same either. There are some attractive and educated ones existing on the same planet as the most uneducated economically and socially challenged ones.

    The key is EDUCATION...Not the kind you receive at the UNIVERSITY, but the type you receive in the REAL WORLD.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2007 at 10:15 PM


    Am I the only honest white male in here, or am I the only one who is observant? MOST black women will not date a white male because a black woman will be ostracized by the women and (especially) men in their community. In fact, I see more black women and hispanic women who will stand by their "men" even if the men of concern have no education, a felony record and no likelihood to change. I know this from firsthand experience and the statistics reported by black scholars show this as well.

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  • View author's info Posted on Jun 22, 2007 at 04:07 PM


    Renny1 write:
    I'm new to this site so I'm sorry if this topic has been discussed. It's just something that bothers me so much. It just seems that most white guys don't think black women like them so they never try and what could be wonderful opportunities are lost. Does anybody else notice this?

    Re:





    i'm looking at all of you and i don't see why anyone wouldn't jump at the opportunity.... i know i wouldn't hesitate....now OR yesterday... have hope .. keep the faith.....
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 20, 2007 at 07:35 AM


    I have to agree, outside of the military I have never personally been asked out by a white guy and I always wondered why? Hell I AM bi-racial and have a father who was a italian/white cowboy I don't know maybe they are intimidated by the stereotypes but who knows, right?
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 16, 2007 at 01:12 AM


    I see men who look but never approach me. I don't think they are afraid to ask me out as they are of the prejudice and ridicule they may receive by dating me. Most of the white men I have dated approached me on line and are very intrigued by the young and old. It does bother me sometime that sex is always included in the conversation but black men do the same thing.

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  • View author's info Posted on Jun 04, 2007 at 04:53 PM


    Dear Renny,

    Thank you for this post. It really made me think. Until I would say the past five years except once I have dated black men exclusively. During that time I had been asked out only once by a white gentleman, with whom I am still friends today. In the past five years since I have expanded my dating horizons most of the white men I have met and dated have been through this site. In my everyday life, however, I have never been asked out by a white gentleman in person. I never thought about this before your post. Even when I went to a interracial speed dating event the men that contacted me wanted to do so for business connections. I wonder do I send out a certain type of vibe that makes me unapproachable in my everyday life. Thank you you have given me something to think about.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 01, 2007 at 03:45 AM


    right now i wish i lived in NYC!
  • View author's info Posted on May 30, 2007 at 07:20 PM


    Hey Hun, to answer your question, to a point they are!Black women are associated with "baggage" meaning a jealous black male that doesn't really care about her but has the mentallity that "she" is just a "sport" and black men don't lose to white guys! from birth it seems that black men are told and taught that white women crave black men for whatever reason, for us it's supposed to be all about the climbing on, getting in and getting off! White care abit more about whom they care for and look alot futher into the future, they tend do deal with and consider how a, that woman can raise him up personally and professionally while we black men sorry to say are about numbers! I may have true feelings for you but trust me, in the locker room or on basketball court, you are just another number!Going to tee you off here I think, black women seem to have this attitude that if he ain't"fine" he ain't mine so alot of us that "DON'T" look like Billy D or Denzel or Blair Underwood get dismissed! Not all of us are into the "hit it and quit it" mode! Take care of you my friend, the best of luck in your search for Mr Right, he's out there for you.........
  • View author's info Posted on May 25, 2007 at 10:46 PM


    i have never had a problem asking a woman out because of her background. i actually struggled for a long time to ever get a date, etc. until i began dating black women. since then my dating life is much better. The real shock of it all though was that all the black women i have dated asked me out which NEVER happens! (not to me at least) so i agree with the posts here in that you never know until you try and to not be afraid to date someone because of their race. On the other hand I have dealt with alot of prejudice when it comes to my dating habits.

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  • View author's info Posted on Apr 27, 2007 at 05:45 PM


    not all white men are afraid to ask black women out but i find that some white men seem to have a attraction for the sexual and i have a problem wth that ..i agree with one of the ladies on here.but i enjoy dating white men and any man for the much that has character , integrity, values of family, and blind to color, weight ,..disabilies etc..one jewish man ..lol smile made a nice comment you know whom you are , i need you to send me contacr info...smile...i am from mixed jewish and afro american background among a few others indian mixes so white and black are never a issue in my life ..as a black women i consider myself..to be..i welcome interracial dating we faught to long for our rights to walk together in this world ..besides i love alittle vanilla in my coffee ..lol smile

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  • View author's info Posted on Apr 26, 2007 at 08:24 PM


    YEA THEY REALLY DONT ASK US OUT, MOST TIMES THEIR AFRAID OF REJECTION THATS WHY, AND THEN THEY HAVE THIS IDEA THAT ALL BLACK MEN ARE WELL ENDOWED AND MAYBE THEY CANT MEASURE UP WHICH IS NOT THE CASE.
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