I hope you can throw some light on the subject here.
I'm a professional, educated black British guy living and working in NYC. I have dated primarily interracially for most of . But it seems it can be a problem for me here.
I feel that many non-African American women here who date men of color are maybe? looking for a stereotypical black man. I say this because I get such odd reactions when I meet women then they hear my London accent. I get either "oooh! I just love the way you talk" or more disturbingly a look that says "WTF ........ are you gay or something?" LMBAO! . I know that us European men do have a more sensitive way about us. I feel this is primarily because many of us are not so caught up in strong, gender stereotypes. So for instance a guy like me who is totally comfortable with his masculine AND feminine sides (I am heterosexual ;) is deemed effeminate over here no?
I can't and won't do the 'thugged out' ghetto nigga thing just to be accepted.
Anyway i look forward to your interesting comments.
I know what your problem is; everyone in America expects ghetto trash thug type behavior and thus the lack-of-proper-English accent that goes with it. People think you're "black" until you open your mouth. I met a British guy there from Brixton who thought he might fit in better in Atlanta and that's what I told him. I don't know what to tell you. I'm "red Indian" and people think I'm white until they see me. That's probably how I got invited to teach Maths over there based on a telephone interview with a teacher placement agency - and once there, got the proverbial door slammed in my face and couldn't get any other job either except as an Au Pair with a non-practicing-Iranian Muslim family.
I don't know what to tell you except that it's just Culture Shock. Welcome to Culture Shock headquarters. The good ol' US of A.
I live in Australia and you would not get the same reaction if you were in Aus. I think from what I can gather from my American friends, the media has a lot to do with the brain washing of a lot of the minds in the U.S, The same way that society due to media see's big woman as being lazy and dumb, You are gorgeous intelligent well spoken and aware that there is a world beyond the good old U.S of A, so mate your a thousand miles in front of a lot others who live there.....
Keep an open mind about the cultural differences in this country.
Not every white or non-african american woman that meets you will be interested in you; it has nothing to do with the "thugged out" stereo-type mentality or anything else, some are simply not interested. I'm sure you will eventually find what you are looking for.
not an oxymoron, however there's alot about American culture and history that you have to understand. For example, the "homosexual question" When Americans see guys well comfortable with touching (rough housing) or in touch with "feminine" side that question seems to be raised. There are lots of stereotypes, and unfortunately, living in America you will face them. keep an open mind about cultural differences (not just racial) and you'll understand
Hi Briddishguy, My answer would be no, however the reactions you have received state otherwise.America is land of stark contrasts and we rely more on the media images to form our opinions of each other. I know there is a large community of African Diaspora in Britain. Keep searching my brother and you will find the right one for you. Peace.