Why won't white men approach me in person? Black Female Seeks White Male Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Nov 23, 2012 at 06:08 AM


    I believe I am a fairly attractive young lady, I work out 3-5 times a week I eat healthy and I stay in shape. I have nice skin so I dont wear much make up, I usually put on mascara and eye liner, sometimes lipstick or lipgloss. Black men approach me all the time but sadly I'm not attracted to black men. I know there's dating websites for people who are interested in interracial reltionships but I would really love for a sexy tall handsome white male to approach me in person. I don't understand why they don't in the first place. If that never happens then hey that's what online dating websites are for.

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  • View author's info Posted on Dec 27, 2015 at 08:38 PM


    Great topic. And great responses. 

    Very helpful.

  • View author's info Posted on Dec 27, 2015 at 08:24 PM


    I just want to say, thank you for some insight. I have heard that Caucasian guys will stave off from approaching black women because they are not sure if they ate interested in interracial dating. That helps clear up some things for me. I find that I'm approached online mire so than in person..I may get glances and stares but that's about all.

     

  • View author's info Posted on Dec 19, 2015 at 09:05 PM


    You know I'd approach any black woman I have done all my life and I've always been hugely successful for the op I certainly would with you baby

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 24, 2013 at 12:16 PM


    I can't speak for all white guys but I do know that I personally am nervous for various reasons. 1 rejection, 2 it's hard to tell which women are into interracial dating, 3rd if she is not interested will she cause a scene and embarrass me even more in front of people.  There are more reasons also but that's a start of why I find it so hard to approach a woman whether white, black or whatever. 

     

    If I was younger and closer to you I would love to take you out on a date. You are very beautiful and seem to know what you want.

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 31, 2013 at 02:04 PM


    Ladies, I don't know what to tell you. I'm ashamed to say that many of my white brothers are cowards. It makes me sad, but they're so afraid of so much. We're not all that way though. I walked a really cute black girl to her car with my umbrella (it was raining) from the store after talking to her in line for a minute. Gave her my number cause she was awful impressed and couldn't stop smiling. It didn't seem that hard, honestly.

     

    But many white guys are scared of looking like a fool. I'm sure there is some concern about making a move in front of black males, since many really well get ugly about the subject and will not hesitate to call a guy out no matter where you are. Also, we all hear how black girls are not easily impressed, how they can be stone cold sometimes and any flaws a guy has...they're probably going to not only notice them, but point them out like they don't know it's embarrassing. That makes white guys worried about the approach. Now personally, I know that is absolutely NOT the truth with most black girls, but most people don't. And I've been in plenty of altercations with black guys cause they don't like that happening, so that is certainly true. (White women are often just as ugly about it, but it's more indirect. All of which are hypocrites. Ugh)

     

    So all I can say is this: just hang in there, ladies. All of you girls are beautiful. It's the guys that aren't measuring up if they aren't approaching you. Remember that.

     

    Edit: If you are getting impatient, sure, go ahead and take the leap and display your interest. If there's one thing that most white guys have, it's enough social grace to let a woman "make it" if she is trying to show interest, but is fumbling a little. We will usually meet you halfway, so there is little reason to be concerned.

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 20, 2013 at 07:46 AM


    This has always been my problem as well and being the shy type doesn't make it any easier. So I just forget about the whole idea if a guy doesn't approach me first. I can understand why guys are a bit skeptical about approachimg women, especially AA women, because women in general can be a bit harsh at times. 

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  • View author's info Posted on Sep 05, 2013 at 02:12 PM


    Quoting BBS121:

    I thought it was just bad in the UK. I find that even when you get that spark of a connection, you still end up having to be the one to make the first move. 

    I know people talk about rejection, but that's part and parcel - everyone you like ain't going to like you. Guys, try not to let one (or 10) no(s) stop you asking! Not every black woman likes to make the first move.

    @BBS and others having a hard time about White men making the first move. For many white men it's like swimming in unchartered territory. You know you want to, you know your attracted, but not really sure where to jump in. Help the guys out a little, heck you all know how to flirt,,LOL shoot,,good eye contact etc.. Think of a good reason to get next to him, for example if your at a Pub/club wait till he goes to the bar for another beer, walk over like your getting one too,, make a comment about the band/music/food/noise level etc.. get the ball rolling, if he's interested he will then keep the ball rolling. It's worked on me a few times,,LOL Come on women,, you all know how to get our attention.  :)

  • View author's info Posted on Sep 04, 2013 at 02:55 PM


    I thought it was just bad in the UK. I find that even when you get that spark of a connection, you still end up having to be the one to make the first move. 

    I know people talk about rejection, but that's part and parcel - everyone you like ain't going to like you. Guys, try not to let one (or 10) no(s) stop you asking! Not every black woman likes to make the first move.

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 28, 2013 at 07:46 PM


    Approach you?? Heck I'll marry you

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 20, 2013 at 11:15 PM


    I think sometimes when you are on your grind and so many things are happening at once you don't notice who may be noticing you.   I have looked at the pictures on this page and you guys are some really beautiful black women.  Whatever man u wanted would be a fool to let you walk away if you decided to approach them 1st.   I have it a bit harder being a BBW.  Not many men in 2013 White or Black are really into a full figured woman.  Some say they are then they ask you to lose weight or start asking u health questions like they are your physician LOL.  I'm healthy and I'm active.  I just got more junk in my trunk LOL and I like it like that :-)  I think instead of us waiting for men to approach us we need to be BOLD and approach them 1st.  Then let the chips fall where they may.

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 15, 2013 at 07:38 PM


    Quoting Diamond415:

    Sweetheart, I have wondered the same since I was a kid but I came from the home of the KKK so that just wasn't allowed...not in public anyway.
    However, what I have started doing is if I see something I can compliment the man on then I immediately say so...no matter what or who is around.  If I sense they are ok to continue talking then I try to find something comfortable to get them to keep talking. 
    I'm an Aries so I'm a go getter and the older I've gotten and wiser I have just come to terms that if I want to talk to someone of another race then I need to speak up...NOTHING BEATS A FAIRLURE BUT A TRY!

    Go for it shuga!

    From a white male, Diamond has the best way.  If you compliment or act a little flirty, we'll respond if interested.  I have trouble telling when a black woman is interested which makes rejection seem a lot more likely.  I don't know what the difference is, but I can almost always tell when a white woman is interested in me.  If an attractive black woman threw a compliment, flirt, or the right body language into a conversation then that conversation would end with me asking for a date.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 17, 2013 at 07:06 AM


    I know, I think us as black women are used to our brothers approaching And that the thought of approaching any man especially a white man can be nerve racking. I've had white men do a double take and I've seen them look but they would never approach. 

    But to be honest tho I don't know what i would do if a guy was to approach me when I'm just strolling down the street because i don't ever react positively when a brother does it, so with a white guy I would probablto just blow him off also.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 16, 2013 at 06:30 AM


    I have this problem ad well, but its all men not just the non black ones.Ii asked my brother about this  and he said, "you look married, a guy would look at you and think no way is she single"  well how the heck do I wash that off lol.

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  • View author's info Posted on Jun 20, 2013 at 09:48 PM


    Sometimes you have to take the first step and approach them and you will be suprised how welcoming white men can be. It's just that some of them are just not sure of how to approach black women and don't want to be embarrased because it's not all black women who accept a white men approaching them so white men sometimes choose to save themselves from the embarrasment of having eyes rolled at them, hand in the face or just plain loud black women who will tell them off and suck teeth at them especially here in NY.. I know this because my white friends and some of the few white men I have dated coz I approached them told me this. So don't be like well I am a woman and a man should approach me coz it might not happen for you. I believe in going after what I want coz sometimes what you want will not just come to you. If I am not going after it that means I don't want it. The worst that can happen is you going after the men you want and him rejecting you and if he does don't give up just move to the next you will eventually get one that will want you back and any men who reject you is a fool anyway coz you are a beautiful girl. I hope you meet that guy who is going to be lucky to have you. Cheers!!!!

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  • View author's info Posted on May 19, 2013 at 05:54 AM


    Quoting burningwater:

    You are more than farily attractive Brownsugarluv91 :) ... I would approach you if we live in the same city and I was younger!!!

    Thank you :-)
  • View author's info Posted on May 19, 2013 at 05:52 AM


    Quoting tumbleweed12:

    hey...
    love your photo.. very cute..
    tell me something please..
    as a white guy, if i see you out, for example i am out shopping or walking, whats the best way for a guy to approach you, to make you feel comfortable?

    I would say be friendly smile, maybe start a simple conversation and if I'm feeling your vibe I'll talk back.
  • View author's info Posted on May 05, 2013 at 02:02 PM


    hey...
    love your photo.. very cute..
    tell me something please..
    as a white guy, if i see you out, for example i am out shopping or walking, whats the best way for a guy to approach you, to make you feel comfortable?
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 30, 2013 at 10:49 PM


    Brownsugaluv,
    I like your determination. I think your perserverance and determination to find truth and understanding of the opposite sex and race is phenomenal.
    I'm 37 and I will admit that I am very attractive with sooo much to offer (I've stayed closed off for a while....but I did it on purpose....now I am available for something new). I will say that I was often approached by my colleagues who worked with me in the corporate world....but I didnt see them as relationship material...I mean it was weird. I was the only african american woman in this area for over 4 years....so I often thought they were intrigued by me because they were just curious about black women. Come to find out, one of my white-male good friends really had a crush on me and didnt tell me until AFTER we both left the company. Now, he should have spoken up because I would have enjoyed getting to know him on a more personal level.....I think it would have been kinda cute AND unexpected........................... for everyone who knows us....nevertheless we missed the opportunity because he didnt express his feelings toward me.
    How cute is this? He says he wasnt able to work as productively when I wasnt in the office....awww! Just adorable. I know this guy. He is not the one to admit something like that. Anyway, I've decided I am only going to entertain dating white men or a difference race altogether....I'm done with these african-american "black" guys...I just cant find them attractive...And I've NEVER found a dark-skinned guy attractive ...period. I promise I am not trying to be mean. Maybe I come from a white background....who knows?

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  • View author's info Posted on Apr 27, 2013 at 04:44 PM


    You are more than farily attractive Brownsugarluv91 :) ... I would approach you if we live in the same city and I was younger!!!
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