Women say they know what they want but they get scared Do women even really know what they want? Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Jan 19, 2007 at 11:17 PM


    Here is one: Woman on the net, women in person, women on the phone all have one thing in common, (I shouldn't say all, but all that I know of) They say they want romance, passion, honesty, humor, a guy that doesn't play games, etc. But when the perfect guy is in front of them they run and hide. What is that? I am a man that sends roses just because, call when I will be late from work (yes, I have a career) am ambitious, take care of my two boys, take my woman out to make sure she knows she is loved and yet the running starts. Don't say you want something if you are not ready to get it!!!
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  • View author's info Posted on Sep 03, 2014 at 07:38 PM


    Reading all these posts has been really eye-opening. Have so many people really been in so many bad relationships? I guess I am among the few that doesn't carry this type of bitterness. I have had my heart broken a couple of times but that is because things just didn't work out. He didn't mistreat me nor I him. I have not been married and I don't have children but I have had a happy life. I have travelled all over the world, done a lot of things, met a lot of people. I just don't have the baggage. I know drama when I see it coming and I have avoided it.

     

    I don't know what else to say except not all women are demanding creatures that come with a lot of baggage. Frankly, I'd rather find NO ONE than deal with grief of that kind at this point in my life from ANYONE.

     

    Best of luck to you.

  • View author's info Posted on Mar 29, 2012 at 12:49 PM


    Many times we wish and wish for the right person to come into our lives. We don’t seem to understand why it’s not working out with others. We end up in toxic, unloving relationships, and deep down know something better is out there.
    The challenge is, when something better does come along, to not run away.
    After years of disappointment, heart break and unhappy endings, it can be very easy to close down on real love. No matter what, don’t’ let that happen!
    Remember, strength in the muscles of your body is created by your muscles being ripped apart, and then rebuilt. Your heart and your emotional intelligence and fitness operate the same way. It is easy to close down after you’ve been hurt. It’s easy to throw a wrench into real love when it comes. I understand it’s scary, but WHO CARES
    Move forward in spite of your fear. Move forward INTO the scariness of it all. Be courageous. Don’t let fear win. OPEN UP anyway. The risk of not opening, in the end, is far worse than the risk of opening.
    Don’t let love pass you by. Don’t let fear win.
    NO! Instead, let love win. Open up, even when, you are afraid. Open up, even when you are scared of getting hurt. Open up, even when you don’t know what’s going to happen.
    Listen to me: LOVE WILL PASS YOU BY if you always choose the safe path.
    I am not suggesting that you open up to the first person who comes along. No. I am not suggesting that at all. I am suggesting that when you have a connection with someone, when you feel it, when you are so scared of how much you feel it, go in the opposite direction of your fear. Do not be afraid of the love you feel.
    KNOW THIS: The right person will meet you. The right person will show up. But they can’t if you don’t open.
    Learn to value openness and rebuilding your heart more than safety. Don’t let the wounds of the past create a wounded future. No. It can be different. Love can be yours. But first you must be open to it. Learn how to be more loving from your past pain, not how to be more closed.
    Don’t give up on love, no, give IN TO love!
    Love, Mastin
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 18, 2012 at 04:15 PM


    I agree with you Miss Beyond dreams, that the "perfect guy" is relative. I once met someone (not online) he was quite nice and he thought he was the perfect guy but his personal and oral hygiene was very poor. He couldn't understand why I wouldn't date him and unfortunately i didn't know how to tell him
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 10, 2010 at 10:03 PM


    Fear is the only thing that keeps the status quo as it is. People fear that things may not be as good as they look. Its the classic too goo to be true syndrome.

    People know what they want. I personally don't place much importance on what I want I concentrate more on what I won't or can't accept in a partner. Wants change and wain over time you become more accepting of flaws in others as you understand the ones in yourself. The important things are the ones that you can't accept in an individual. I really don't care how beautiful an apple is on the outside its still no good if its rotten to the core.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 17, 2009 at 01:24 PM


    Good nite!!!¿ Where have I been?¿ All this and I missed it last year.¿ I must have been out dating nice guys or somethin' silly like that...¿¿ Whew....Sobers, please let me apologize for any and everything or whatever that horrible "woman tiger" did to you to¿¿ make you so mad at us.¿¿ Now...my personal take on the subject at hand, and sorry I'm a year late....¿ I have everything I need...I own my own home, I work for myself and an employer and my car suits me.¿¿ I think I look pretty good for a woman my age, and I have had one child who is grown and on her own.¿ I keep myself up because I am a charter flight attendant and part of my job is to look nice.¿¿ I think I would have to be pretty thin to fit under a snakes belly....lol....¿ I believe I am as I should be.¿ I just want to add, that a lot of men look for what you think women look for in a mate except in the feminine.¿ I just wanted someone to go to the movies with and guess what....I can pay my own way...you know,,,, just like I pay my own mortgage and no one has ever paid it for me.¿ I wish you all the luck!

  • View author's info Posted on Sep 25, 2009 at 11:42 AM


    I can only speak for myself. I know exactly what I want. The problem I have encountered is men telling me what they think I want to hear. Just totally be yourself, open and honest. I know that is the only way to truly see if you are compatible. If it doesn't work out you can feel good and positive about the relationship when it ends. If it does work then you have found the person who totally gets you and accepts you for who you are.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 26, 2009 at 09:22 AM


    I hear what you say, and think many women feel the need to defend others, warrented or not. It is also much easier for many to put themselves into the victim mode, because they then do not have to face the reality of their own downfalls, I also believe this to be true of many men, this is strictly a personal opinion and not a judgment, as at some time in our lives, we have all not wanted to face certain truths. Cheers Lisa
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 15, 2008 at 08:27 PM


    I would like to know why women feel they "speak" for other women and make excuses as to why they behave and treat men as they do....this is a very direct and honest question ladies: Do you all understand that men also feel heartbreak and lose the ability to trust women as well?? Do you also think you are always the victim and dont play a significant part when your relationship fails?? I welcome any SINCERE comments to this post
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 04, 2008 at 12:24 AM


    Quoting Sobers:

    Trust

    I don't hate women, but then again. I don't hate tigers.....BUT I know a tigers nature. It will kill you. It's not personal. It's just what they do.

    A lot of women think they are making progress and getting ahead of men, BUT that?s not the way I measure progress. You count the women who are BATTERED. You count the DEAD and you will CLEARLY see that there is an EPIDEMIC of hatred towards women and the war will NEVER end until women stop there evil ways.

    To my black brother, listen women don't want a nice guy. They really don't. In films such as Nutty Professor where Eddie Murphy stars as Norbit or Me, Myself, & Irene (Jim Carey as Charlie), the nice guy gets the girl. In reality this isn't true, it isn't what actually happens. It's simple. The only thing women care about with men is our looks, money and status.

    If you are not strong in one of them you are screwed and you will just have to wait until for her looks to run out. ONCE she has had a couple of kids, ONCE they have had to confront real life, ONCE they realized that the smooth-talkers they thought were princes were just faking it, ONCE her market value is lower than a snakes belly, then they will start to turn their attentions to nice guys like you?



    OK... are you for real??... like really for real???... its a good thing I am not a memeber yet...lololol I dont watch much t.v.... but I can see that you would provide some entertainment... the words in big letters .. is that for your benifit or you just wanted to make sure we knew those words in a message....mmmmm... you my friend really do need to breath some fresh air.. purhaps see someone.. who may beable to assist in making your day a happier one.... since I highly doubt that any effort needs to go into any reasoning or rationalizing since there is none...lol..
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 05, 2008 at 08:29 PM


    Wildchild!

    Wow well said.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 01, 2008 at 11:24 AM


    Quoting Passionatemale2001:
    But when the perfect guy is in front of them they run and hide.


    The "perfect guy" is relative. The guy doesn't determine that he is the perfect guy. The woman makes that determination. As free thinking, cognitive adults, women can make the call on who is a good fit in their life. If a person enters a relationship thinking that they know what's best for their partner and then tries to act on that line of thinking, the relationship is on a down hill slide from that point forward.

    When it's right it's right; the chemistry is there. Nothing needs to be forced. When it's a good fit the relationship blossoms naturally and no one is left wanting.
  • View author's info Posted on May 30, 2008 at 07:49 AM


    Quoting Sobers:

    Trust



    A lot of women think they are making progress and getting ahead of men, BUT that?s not the way I measure progress. You count the women who are BATTERED. You count the DEAD and you will CLEARLY see that there is an EPIDEMIC of hatred towards women and the war will NEVER end until women stop there evil ways.


    If you are not strong in one of them you are screwed and you will just have to wait until for her looks to run out. ONCE she has had a couple of kids, ONCE they have had to confront real life, ONCE they realized that the smooth-talkers they thought were princes were just faking it, ONCE her market value is lower than a snakes belly, then they will start to turn their attentions to nice guys like you?





    OK call me crazy, but the two paragraphs i am quoting from this "man" and i use the term lightly..make me want to call the cops with a possible supect in any unsolved hate crimes against women in the area.


    Are you saying that every woman battered or killed ddeserved it because she was evil? I try not to directly attack anyone..but you are going to be my exception. I would love to meet you irl. You deserve someone to show you EVIL. You are an insult to decent men. And exactly the type of guy that makes some women feel like they need to be AHEAD of you..at least with the mace.You are stupid,disrespectful,and degrading to women. You are your own worst enemy and too ignorant to see it so you have to blame it on the women you know. Comments like 'lower than a snakes belly' to descibe a womans worth shows some deep seated issues. My suggestion to you is to stop looking at women before you hurt yourself or one of them and seek professional help.YESTERDAY!

    You don't have and won't have a woman treat you worth a damn because you don't DESERVE it and even the craziet of us can see that from a mile away.And because i just put another pin in your voodoo doll.
  • View author's info Posted on May 26, 2008 at 02:51 PM


    a lot of women have been hurt and find it hard to trust. a lot of guys may seem too good to be true also to where the woman doesnt know how to handle something so good. maybe she could also be afraid to mess up the best thing in their life? i have no idea. there are many reasons why women would run and hide that most men might not understand, the only advice i could give men is to be patient and she will come around.
  • View author's info Posted on May 19, 2008 at 05:24 AM


    Trust

    I don't hate women, but then again. I don't hate tigers.....BUT I know a tigers nature. It will kill you. It's not personal. It's just what they do.

    A lot of women think they are making progress and getting ahead of men, BUT that?s not the way I measure progress. You count the women who are BATTERED. You count the DEAD and you will CLEARLY see that there is an EPIDEMIC of hatred towards women and the war will NEVER end until women stop there evil ways.

    To my black brother, listen women don't want a nice guy. They really don't. In films such as Nutty Professor where Eddie Murphy stars as Norbit or Me, Myself, & Irene (Jim Carey as Charlie), the nice guy gets the girl. In reality this isn't true, it isn't what actually happens. It's simple. The only thing women care about with men is our looks, money and status.

    If you are not strong in one of them you are screwed and you will just have to wait until for her looks to run out. ONCE she has had a couple of kids, ONCE they have had to confront real life, ONCE they realized that the smooth-talkers they thought were princes were just faking it, ONCE her market value is lower than a snakes belly, then they will start to turn their attentions to nice guys like you?
  • View author's info Posted on May 16, 2008 at 11:49 PM


    Wow, I can't believe that "Sobers" is still aloud in this site.
    No wonder he hides his profile.
    He seems to hate women so much, I guess he should date his own kind.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 25, 2008 at 10:48 PM


    I think that people in general don't always know what they want. Life experiences and relationships show you what you want and that changes over time. God shows you what you need, if you let Him.

    I think we don't always know what to do when we get what we "want". Sometimes we need tine to figure that out.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 24, 2008 at 06:13 PM


    Quoting Sobers:

    If you treat a woman nicely, she will friend zone you. She'll NEVER have sex with you and she will treat you like CRAP. This is a scientific FACT.

    Women are B A S T A R D S

    Sobers...I find it very hard to believe that you have ever treated a woman nice enough to prove that comment.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 16, 2008 at 10:47 PM


    I agree, I don't think we know what we want, but we do know what we don't want.

    I have a list!
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 23, 2008 at 07:16 PM


    I am not like them, if i find someone who is truly honest and a man who is willing to give his full love to me, i feel i was the luckiest one in this world, because i want a true love and i will give my all support to him. But until now he will never come to my life, and i wish one of this day he will come. Can you give me some Roses.
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