How about a little laughter ? How about a little laughter? Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Apr 22, 2005 at 05:40 PM


    An Elderly Couple Is Watching The 700 Club, The Evangelist Is getting Really Worked Up, And It's Soon Time For The healing Portion Of The Show, ........... If You Believe In The Healing Power, Please, ..... Place One Hand On The T.V. And The Other Hand On The Part Of Your Body That Ails You ...... The Old Man Places One Hand On The T.V. And The Other Hand On His Groin ........................ The Old Woman Says, ....... "OH" ..... Don't Be Stupid !!!!! He Said, "HEAL" ................... Not Raise The Dead ........... .................................................. ..................................................
    Follow - email me when people comment
  • 115Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Jul 04, 2013 at 04:16 PM


    ;-) I it loved it!
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 17, 2008 at 04:36 PM


    ..... A Nice Calm And Respectable Lady Went Into The Pharmacy, Walked Over To The Pharmacist,...... Looked Him Straight Into His Eyes, And Said, "I Would Like To Buy Some Cyanide" ...................... The Pharmacist Asked, .... "Why In The World Do You Need Cyanide ????" ......... The Lady Replied, I Need It To Poison My Husband ............. The Pharmacist's Eyes ... Got Big .... And He Exclaimed ... "Lord Have Mercy ..... I Can't Give You Cyanide ... To Kill Your Husband ....... "Why" ... "That's Against The Law ... "Why" ... I'll Lose My License !!!!!!!!!! ................. "They'll Throw Both Of Us In Jail !!!!!" ............. All Kinds Of Bad Things Will Happen ........ "Absolutely Not!!!" ...................... "You Can Not Have Any Cyanide !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ........ At The Same Time .... The Lady Reached Into Her Purse And Pulled Out A Picture Of Her Husband In Bed With The Pharmacist's Wife ..................... ........................................ ........................................ The Pharmacist Looked At The Picture And Replied ...... "WELL NOW" ......... This Is A Bit Different .......... You Didn't Tell Me, That, You Had A Prescription .........................OK007
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 01, 2007 at 11:49 PM


    Spaghetti Sauce

    Stumpy prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party he was giving. In his haste, however, he forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. He was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. He called the local Poison Control Center and voiced his concern. They advised Stumpy to boil the sauce again.

    That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest volunteered to answer it. Stumpy's face dropped as the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."
  • View author's info Posted on May 20, 2007 at 11:55 PM


    What men really mean when they say...(Contd.)

    "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
    Means: "What did you catch me at?"

    "I HEARD YOU."
    Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

    "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
    Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

    "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
    Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

    "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
    Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

    "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"
    Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
  • View author's info Posted on May 20, 2007 at 11:45 PM


    Find out what men really mean when they say...

    "I'M GOING FISHING"
    Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

    "IT'S A GUY THING"
    Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

    "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
    Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

    "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
    Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

    "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
    Means: "I have no idea how it works."

    "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
    Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

    "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
    Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

    "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
    Means: "Are you still talking?"

    "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
    Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

    "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
    Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great tits."

    "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
    Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

    "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
    Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

    "I CAN'T FIND IT."
    Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
  • View author's info Posted on May 04, 2007 at 09:19 PM


    A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the plane. The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany". The others ask, "How do you know", the German says, "Cuz' it's so cold". Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia", the others ask "How do you know", he replies "Cuz' it's so warm". Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico", the others ask "How do you know", he says " Cuz' my watch is gone".
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 28, 2007 at 10:25 PM


    Who's the oldest profession?

    Seems there were these three professionals sitting around talking about the oldest profession.

    The Doctor says, "Well, the Bible says that God took a rib out of Adam to make woman. Since that clearly required surgery, then the oldest profession is surely medicine."

    The Engineer shakes his head and replies, "No, no. The Bible also says that God created the world out of void and chaos. To do that, God must surely have been an engineer. Therefore, Engineering is the oldest profession."

    The Lawyer smiles smugly and leans discreetly forward. "Ah," he says, "but who do you think created the Chaos?"
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 25, 2007 at 06:10 PM


    You know are in trouble....
    As you wait at the Pearly Gates for your chance in Heaven....
    and St. Peter says to the lady next to you "Sorry Mother Teresa...but you should have done more to get in to heaven" :-)
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 21, 2007 at 08:37 PM


    the poopie list sooooooo funny..lmao,there should be more fun stuff....
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 12, 2007 at 01:46 AM


    "California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was released from the hospital after breaking his leg. Doctors say Arnold's leg will be broken for two months, and his English will be broken forever."

    --Conan O'Brien, on Late Night
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 16, 2006 at 10:23 PM


    Seems like almost everything which has been traditional is getting redone rewritten redone or an extreme makeover....

    could you imagine if they did that to the story of Moses and the Ten Commandments...???
    depending on which biblical version you want, pretty much Moses led the children of Israel and stopped at the foot of Mt. Sinai and then he climbed to top and received the Commandments on the the tablets which were written by the finger of G_d (film version or bible class)

    HOWEVER...!!! the modern version might be..... the clan got the boot out of Egypt after Moses rattled the Pharaoh's cage and palace.. made a mad dash out to the desert ended up at Mt. Sinai.
    Moses took the big climb to the top.... meditated and asked for help and guidance and G_d listened. then there was silence for a while and G_d spoke to Moses.....
    " Take these tablets, go home, follow the instructions, swallow them and call me in the morning if you have any further discomfort..."

    not everyone takes the prescription,but there are unlimited refills......

    Members Only

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 11, 2006 at 09:30 AM


    Two Hydrogen Atoms

    Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other recently.

    One said: "Why do you look so sad?"

    The other responded: "I lost an electron."

    Concerned, One asked "Are you sure?"

    The other replied "I'm positive."
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 02, 2006 at 07:48 AM


    A young Persian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Mum, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one
    I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

    He then says, "Okay, Mom, guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The one on the right." "That's amazing, Mom.
    You're right. How did you know?"

    The Persian mother replies "I don't like her."
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 31, 2006 at 02:09 PM


    Magical Compact

    Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk, and leans down to pick it up.

    She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

    The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

    So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 29, 2006 at 09:33 AM


    Peer pressure

    A reporter interviewed a 104-year-old man.

    "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

    "No peer pressure," he replied.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 25, 2006 at 11:32 AM


    Newsflash

    Did you hear about the corduroy pillows?

    They're making head lines across the nation!
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 20, 2006 at 10:20 AM


    How You Made Money

    A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

    The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

    "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

    "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."

    "And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked.

    "Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 18, 2006 at 10:28 AM


    Knock Knock! Who's There?

    Maida.

    Maida who?

    Maida force be with you!
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 17, 2006 at 10:21 AM


    The Wall of Life

    A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away.

    At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket.

    They hear a faint moan.

    They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.

    She lives for 10 more years and then dies.

    A ceremony is again held at the same synagogue and at the end of the service the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket.

    As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
Follow - email me when people comment