GHETTO WHITE GIRLS VS REGULAR WHITE GIRLS Message board Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 20, 2005 at 02:25 PM


    Perhaps there is an age/culture gap going on here.

    I think Aeroz is mostly in touch with people around her age, that is, younger than most of the posters in these threads are. Also, she lives in Washington state, not far from where I am.

    Here in BC we don't have that many Black people around, and I don't think the stereotypes are as fixed as they are in the USA, but the minorities that we do have (Chinese and East Indian) as a rule live in the same areas with whites, yet the three groups rarely if ever mix.

    So, to me, when other people from some other areas in North America tell me how interracial dating/marriages are on the rise, it sounds strange to me (I've lived mostly in smaller towns in USA and Canada, and in many places where I've worked and lived I was the one person who was not white, period).

    Because I've looked around, and I've seen kids getting off High School in highly segregated groups: here the white kids, there the Chinese kids, more over there the East Indian or Black kids, etc.

    But I also remember how it was different in New Jersey and Montreal (two of the larger cities where I've lived), where you could actually see many mixed groups.

    I think that's why sometimes it is so hard to understand what other people are saying. We are our life experiences, and if you live mostly around people who stereotype and follow the stereotypes, you're more likely to believe in those stereotypes yourself, and more likely to think those who don't are not too observant or they are being hypocritical.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 20, 2005 at 12:57 PM


    I felt the need to add something here.. i'm getting addicted to these posts .. i moved to montreal when i was 14 from a small West-indian island so this was a big culture shock...my friends who i met here are all immigrants like myself, russian, thai, philippino,greek, ..u get my drift..I listen to rock, lebanese, rap, hip-hop,soca, reggae, i dress preppy, hip-hop, stylish and grunge ...my friends are the same...we speak french, english, slang and every bad word from diffrent countries...WHAT IS THAT ACTING LIKE?... that's just me, well rounded...my ex-boyfriend was greek and only listened to reggae, dressed conservatively and spoke english with a west-indian accent...it's how he learnt it...there's no ACTING...u pick up things when u hang around people... i guess it depends where u come from ... montreal is so diverse that we don't have time to look at others and question whether they are for real or not ... u go anywhere and u will always find a diverse crowd ...so in the reggae club u will see a lovley white woman with blond braids ..shaking her thang and then u can go to a rave and see a handsome brother dancing to the music... that's it i guess ...maybe i should apply for tourism in Montreal .. have a nice day guys.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 20, 2005 at 11:44 AM


    aeroz29 write:
    (If you all are trying to tell me that there is no way to act white or black, then I must simply say that I and most other folks I have spoken with at work and school, and not on a message board on the internet, of varying age and race, disagree with you.)

    I am referring to a wider spectrum of behaviors, modes of speech, thought, viewpoints, tastes, approach to life, background, and experiences. Subtle things from each of these areas and many others make a person fit in with a culture, and race is a part of the defitinion of culture.


    Aeroz, the two paragraphs of yours I quoted are contradictory. In one paragraph you go back to this "acting black/acting white" thing.

    I challenge you to give me specifics of what acting black is....WITHOUT stereotyping every single black person.

    It can't be done.

    Once you start stereotyping, that's virtually admitting the 'acting black' concept is ignorant. I personally don't "act" black...I AM black.

    In the second paragraph, you refer to "a wider spectrum of behaviors, modes of speech, thought, viewpoints, tastes, approach to life, background, and experiences." Agreed, but what's often forgotten is that each person within a culture has differing degrees to which these things shape them individually.

    Not EVERYONE from a particular race has the EXACT same behavior, mode of speech, thoughts, viewpoints, tastes, approaches to life, backgrounds and experiences. Yet when you say "acting black/white".... the very nature of that implies a set of standard behavoral traits. You can't say there are variables that shape an individual person within a group on one hand, then say there's a blanket standard of behavior that defines a group on the other. Total contradiction. There may be TRADITIONS that define a specific culture, but baggy pants, cornrows, and backward hats are NOT traditions...they are FASHIONS.

    If one person feels that someone marrying outside their race is turning their back ON their race, that's one persons opinion. Another person might view that as being seperatist. Those are individual viewpoints and doesn't necessarily reflect the views of an entire group.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 20, 2005 at 08:49 AM


    aeroz29 write:
    In real life, at school and work, the people I talk to of both races agree with me that if a black guy acts white or a white guy acts black this is unacceptable.

    (If you all are trying to tell me that there is no way to act white or black, then I must simply say that I and most other folks I have spoken with at work and school, and not on a message board on the internet, of varying age and race, disagree with you.)

    Aeroz, you can sit here and tell us that the people at your job and school agree with your argument that "the sky is red" or that "cats can fly" and we'd be none the wiser. We cannot speak to those folks and are just left to believe that you are exaggerating. Do you see how claiming outside support to your argument does nothing in this forum to help validate your point?
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 20, 2005 at 08:29 AM


    aeroz29 write:
    There is a great deal of misunderstanding going on, and since you do not know me you should not assume such things about me as ignorance, stupidity and general poor quality. It leaves me a very negative impression of you.

    Well, with the comments you've made here, the feeling is mutual. Again, noone misunderstood you and you are now attempting to revise what you originally said in your response to slide's post.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 20, 2005 at 08:15 AM


    Ok then exactly how should my half white half black children act? So they are not laughed at?
    And i guess my son can only have cornroles on half his head?

    *Rachel walks away scratching head picturing son with half and half hair*
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 20, 2005 at 04:18 AM


    Yes, ACTING...

    hmmm...

    I still maintain, as I've posted elsewhere, that adaptability, including in communication -verbal AND nonverbal- is a sign of an intelligent mind.

    And that an effective communicator structures their message in a manner most likely to be understood by their target audience.

    I (or any person) can speak and/or behave, i.e. ACT, as eruditely as my audience requires and my education allows.
    I (or any person) can also speak and/or behave, i.e. again ACT, as "ghetto" as my audience requires and a different sort of education (at times equally valuable as formal education) allows.

    Does the adaptability of the ACT of communication make one a phoney?
    No.
    Not so long as the underlying principals of the message remain genuinely held by the speaker.

    Is some of this word choice influenced by culture, region, and yes even race?

    Sometimes.

    Does it have ANYTHING REMOTELY to do with intelligence?

    Not necessarily.

    Not so far as our preconceptions allow it to.

    And is THAT often times influenced by what we "believe" about race, culture, or even region?

    Yes.

    Case in point, a purebred yankee like me might ask of the once southern dwelling keihan if, with his persuit of education & speaking of "proper" English (something someone from England might challenge btw, lol) has he "gotten above his rasin??"
    LOL
    Ok kei... you know I'm just yanking your chain a bit, right?
    Because such expressions might sound "ignorant" to a northerner.

    So you see, I'm chain tugging only for the effect of the point to be made.

    Or

    I might point out that, though not from Florida & never having been, my own speech is often punctuated by the frequent y'all.
    Maybe it carried through my family from my West Virginian great granny... who knows?

    Again hmmm...
    Maybe rather than allowing perceptions to condition us to see communication as "race," "culture," "region," "educated," "ig'nant," "proper," or "ghetto," and etc. we should take a closer look at our own perceptions and beliefs.
    Look closer at what motivates us and why.
    And yes, even take a closer look at our fears.

    We may just find that such things have less to do than we believed with race, culture, region, education, etc. etc.

    Or...

    maybe we'll find that sometimes we make entirely too much importance of it all.

    ;^,
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 18, 2005 at 01:31 PM


    Hey Silver, I like your new pic!

    I want to add that I meant Zora N-E-A-L-E HURSTON. Apologies to Ms Hurston, RIP. That's what happens when I type faster than I think.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 18, 2005 at 01:10 PM


    caramel_princess write:


    No one missed your point. A common tactic in these boards when you make a completely stupid and ignorant comment which says nothing positive about you as a person . . .is to accuse others of MISUNDERSTANDING your point.

    Right.


    Ouch!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 18, 2005 at 09:48 AM


    keihan wrote:
    LOL sure there are, Cyup. Sports mascots display and exploit them all the time.
    Hmm... I thought that applied only to our North American cousins. Remember, we're the shorter, browner, cuter version.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 18, 2005 at 09:39 AM


    caramel_princess write:


    No one missed your point. A common tactic in these boards when you make a completely stupid and ignorant comment which says nothing positive about you as a person . . .is to accuse others of MISUNDERSTANDING your point.

    Right.


    Couldnt have said it any better myself!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 18, 2005 at 09:24 AM


    cyupanqui write:
    Good heavens, there is not even stereotypes about my race. I'm so scre'wed.

    So, Cyup...how do you know what to do?!? What manuel do you follow?? Im SOOO confused, I dont know if I should follow the "white" one and be all smart and eloquent or the "black"one and be all ig'nant...so I dont follow any at all and Im just me, well read and articulate! (and Modest)
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 18, 2005 at 08:21 AM


    keihan write:
    Well said, Slide.

    LOL! I must admit that some of your analogies had me chuckling though.


    That was definetely intentional keihan, You got it. Sometimes a point can sink in quicker if you look at it in a humorous light. A little well-placed levity with a serious subject sometimes helps.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 18, 2005 at 06:14 AM


    slidewinderq write:
    Aeroz, maybe I missed your point. I'd really like for you to clarify. I'm not trying to attack you. Hopefully we can learn something....that's why we're here.

    I (and a few other people it seems) interpreted your post to mean that you automatically suspect a black person who doesn't listen to hip-hop and speaks proper English as a wannabe. You also regard a white person who's into hip-hop culture as same. I'm just trying to figure out how speaking clearly and having broad tastes is an exclusively white thing.

    Based on what you said, I could flip the script and assume if a white person doesn't talk as if they were raised chewing tobacco, going to Monster truck rallies, and listening to Toby Keith, then they're a wannabe. Why round everyone off to a common denominator?

    That's like saying Martin Luther King, Langston Hughes, Malcolm X, and Zora Neal Huston were acting white because they knew how to put two complete sentences together....and they didn't listen to hip-hop as it wasn't invented yet.

    Imagine if Frederick Douglass were to believe the hype: "Abolition? I like it but I'm not supposed to be saying those $30 words..."

    MLK: "Corretta, I have a dream....but I'd better not articulate it, lest people think I'm trying to act white...."

    If gifted people like Langston Hughes or Zora Neal Huston believed that about themselves, there would have been no Harlem Renaissance...which features some of the highest achievements of black LITERARY culture.

    If a white kid grew up in hip-hop culture or in the ghetto, I see no problem as long as that kid is being true to him/herself. Same for a black kid who grew up in suburbia with a love of reading and learning.

    The problem, as noted in the original post, related to people "ACTING" period. In this case, he reffered to white ladies who ACT "ghetto". If I saw a white lady who caught my eye and I tried to chat with her by assuming a trailer trash affectation.....wouldn't you think she'd find that condescending and offensive? That's why one is always better off by being true to themselves. After all, if you're not true to yourself, you can't be true to anyone.

    De-program.


    Well said, Slide.

    LOL! I must admit that some of your analogies had me chuckling though.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 18, 2005 at 06:07 AM


    cyupanqui write:
    Good heavens, there is not even stereotypes about my race. I'm so scre'wed.


    LOL sure there are, Cyup. Sports mascots display and exploit them all the time.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 18, 2005 at 05:43 AM


    I think all of you missed what I was saying completely and totally. But I figured that would happen.

    No one missed your point. A common tactic in these boards when you make a completely stupid and ignorant comment which says nothing positive about you as a person . . .is to accuse others of MISUNDERSTANDING your point.

    Right.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 18, 2005 at 05:30 AM


    Aeroz, maybe I missed your point. I'd really like for you to clarify. I'm not trying to attack you. Hopefully we can learn something....that's why we're here.

    I (and a few other people it seems) interpreted your post to mean that you automatically suspect a black person who doesn't listen to hip-hop and speaks proper English as a wannabe. You also regard a white person who's into hip-hop culture as same. I'm just trying to figure out how speaking clearly and having broad tastes is an exclusively white thing.

    Based on what you said, I could flip the script and assume if a white person doesn't talk as if they were raised chewing tobacco, going to Monster truck rallies, and listening to Toby Keith, then they're a wannabe. Why round everyone off to a common denominator?

    That's like saying Martin Luther King, Langston Hughes, Malcolm X, and Zora Neal Huston were acting white because they knew how to put two complete sentences together....and they didn't listen to hip-hop as it wasn't invented yet.

    Imagine if Frederick Douglass were to believe the hype: "Abolition? I like it but I'm not supposed to be saying those $30 words..."

    MLK: "Corretta, I have a dream....but I'd better not articulate it, lest people think I'm trying to act white...."

    If gifted people like Langston Hughes or Zora Neal Huston believed that about themselves, there would have been no Harlem Renaissance...which features some of the highest achievements of black LITERARY culture.

    If a white kid grew up in hip-hop culture or in the ghetto, I see no problem as long as that kid is being true to him/herself. Same for a black kid who grew up in suburbia with a love of reading and learning.

    The problem, as noted in the original post, related to people "ACTING" period. In this case, he reffered to white ladies who ACT "ghetto". If I saw a white lady who caught my eye and I tried to chat with her by assuming a trailer trash affectation.....wouldn't you think she'd find that condescending and offensive? That's why one is always better off by being true to themselves. After all, if you're not true to yourself, you can't be true to anyone.

    De-program.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 17, 2005 at 05:29 PM


    aeroz, I'm not knocking you for being attracted to whatever floats your boat, and you're pretty young so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I do have a hypothetical question for you. Say you meet this "ideal" brotha...pants around the knees, and as blissfully 'ig'nant' as he wants to be....all slang and street talk. You have children together. What are you going to teach your kids? Would it be ok to be slangin' and bangin' half the time since they're half black, and articulate and proper the other half since they're half white?

    I'm not being sarcastic, but you pointed out that these differences between black and white exist. While I agree that differences exist between cultures and races, I should point out that differences also exist WITHIN cultures and races too. Yet, you readily verified certain stereotypical characteristics as acting "black".

    Based on that assertion, would I be correct in assuming that I can take a "redneck trailer park trash" stereotype as representative of white? Does that necessarily represent who YOU are? What about the "gnarly" surfer type? How about the "like totally valley girl mallrat" stereotype? The "uptight white" one? Different strokes/different folks, no?

    Again, if you like a "thug" or a "hood rat" there is NOTHING wrong with that. As a matter of fact, there are a lot of black men out there too happy to be walking stereotypes, so they shouldn't be hard for you to find. Just realize that PEOPLE are ALL different. There is no ONE representative personality type for an ENTIRE group, despite what your friends, family, or television may tell you.

    So if I don't speak in a "stereotypically black" manner, I'm not trying to be anybody but me.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 17, 2005 at 02:18 PM


    aeroz29 write:
    For the folks here who pretend not to understand what acting black and acting white are, let me clarify...

    If you saw a white guy walking around saying, "I gotta go home for a minute," or, "Yeah, I dig it," or "You feel me?" and stuff like that, wouldn't you think he was trying to be black?

    And if you saw a white man with cornrows, wouldn't you think he was trying to be black?

    And if you saw a black man who never listened to hip hop, raggae or rap, and who never wore any baggy clothes or never used any black slang, but instead acted like a white "dude" by his speech, body language, dress, and behavior, wouldn't you think he was trying to be a white man?

    We all know better than to pretend such differences don't exist between the races. We are here because we like the differences.

    And those ignorant stereotypes (I know redundant) keep prejudice alive and well in this 'ole world...thanks aeroz, errr uhhh, I mean airhead
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 17, 2005 at 02:03 PM


    One day, I saw a beautiful black woman dancing to rock music. It stunned me; because, she could do it with rythm and she did it so well. I really liked her; but, she was with a white guy and looking very happy. So, I was very happy for her.

    I didn't see anything that was tied to her culture about her. But, I thought she was interesting, different and exciting. I said, to myself, I want me one of those.
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