I have met a lot of white men who say they would love to date a black woman, but they are afraid to approach us, Guys,, just info ... we do not bite. so grow a pair if you are interested in dating a black female, walk right up to her and ask her out, you will be surprised.. she might say yes.. you will never know if you don't ask.
Most guys are petrified to approach any girl regardless of whether black, white or alien:)
Some of it is simply awful advice from dad's, older brothers who marry the second or third girl they go out with so they are speaking from almost zero experience with women in general. Other times its conditioning from movies/TV where its almost always the girl who makes a move or is the aggressive one...not real life! But the vast majority of times it just comes down to how social or unsocial the person is.
Sadly social skills (especially when it comes to socializing with the opposite sex) isn't taught at any point in school (we're too busy learning about how to build tepee's in social studies instead sigh) so you have naturals (less than 10% of all guys and girls) and the rest who think they are just "shy" or "reserved" and don't think being social is something that can be learned (it is,) so they don't bother cultivating this most crucial of all skills.
I understand some white guys have received some xyz responses that have made them gun-shy so they don't try again.
Some would have had a great opportunity to get to know me but their approach was on another planet..."Hello Big Sexy" They also act like it's an insult for us to ask them to add more photos when they only have one headshot and we have 5 or more photos available for them to check.
Many of them need a playbook so they can get a hello.
I think you are right, many white men are hesitant or afraid to approach black women, and far more are attracted than anyone realizes. I think there are several reasons:
It is not common, which translates into a bit of a barrier.
I think there is an assumption by white men that black women are not interested. Again, they don't see it, so they assume.
Some may succumb to whatever social stigmas (nonsense) that are out there. They worry about not fitting in, the opinions of family, friends and others.
Yes, these are reasons, also excuses, but also understandable.
I had it easy, I met my first black gf, later wife, through sports. We were on the same team so I was able to be around her long enough to be comfortable asking her out. A cold call would've been much more difficult. Incidentally, I was attracted to black women long before I met her, so it was especially good fortune.
I agree, they should grow a pair, but that is more easily said than done. I've had a number of white male friends express to me that they were attracted to a black women but didn't know what to do. Much as you said, I tell them to simply ask, even specifically about the race issue if done politely. Then, I explain, at least you'll know if she's turning you down based on race or the fact that she is completely out of you league ;-)
On the bright side, it is changing. You see more and more WM/BF relations ship in life, and in the media (it seems to be prevalent among celebrities) so is becoming more known and accepted.
And on the flip side, black women may have, or at least choose to make clear their interest in a white man. Take away his uncertainty and he'll act. While agreeing with your grow a pair philosophy, it may not always be fair to put it all on the guy when there is a larger than usual obstacle to overcome. It's tough enough for most of us even under the best circumstances.
hello. I posted this answer in another forum but I believe it truly encompasses why white men are afraid to approach black women.
I love Black women, not because of looks, skin color, or any of that. There is a certain inner confidence and strength that black women have inside them. It's a solid firmness COMBINED WITH a softness and gentleness towards the people they care about and love. It's been a common thing I've observed among all the black women in my life that were past relationships, friends, coworkers and casual acquaintances. A lot of times that hardness and firmness is misinterpreted. I did at first. But once you realize that the hardness is actually enveloped with an unequalled softness and gentleness, you get drawn in. So to answer your question about "why aren't white men into black women?" I feel like the answer is that they are subconsciously intimidated by them and allow their own insecurities keep them from flirting and hitting on women that they are actually attracted to. They don't realize that behind that hard exterior is something special and worth the effort to get to
I think it is just a kind of stereotype, or a perception that you see a person of a different race and assume (I think especially black women )that your not interested in white men. For me I have dated and been married to a black woman, that dating sites such as this are more ideal since it allows to look for someone with the same wants, rather than the randomness of maybe meeting someone who is open to dating outside their race.
i also live in a less diverse area that doesn't help along with being older , so no one wants to be the old man in the club .. Just my two cents