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How to not settle for less in a realatiionship. Posted on Mar 11, 2015 at 11:32 PM
How to not settle for less in a relationship.   You’ve been single for a while, and since you really really want to be in a relationship, you start to bargain with yourself. You think, “Maybe I could just settle for someone I like just enough” instead of waiting for one who will truly make your heart floweth over. Well, here’s the sign I’d post in that puddle of pessimism: No settling allowed!! To make it clear why I don’t think you should settle for “eh” when it comes to a lifetime love partner, here are 10 reasons why settling works against you.    #1: …settling is a choice made from fear. Don’t choose a relationship because you’re afraid to be alone. Or because you’re afraid you won’t find someone better. Or because you’re afraid you’re not good enough to attract someone who’s nuts about the real, true you. Be strong, not scared! You’re a tough cookie and you know you’re meant for more, so don’t let fear make decisions for you. Trust in the good life can bring you.   #2: … passion is like a hot pepper in a good soup. In other words, it changes in flavor, but it doesn’t diminish. If you choose a relationship with a passion and attraction to the whole person (not just their looks), the rewards of that emotional attraction can still be there decades later. But choose a relationship without that emotional passion? You could end up with a soup with no flavor at all.   #3: …friendship marriages are different than deep, romantic ones. Yes, some people can commit to an arranged marriage and still stay together for the long run. But it can take years to develop any emotional zing—if ever they do at all. Relationships can offer so much more than someone who cleans the toilet or puts gas in the car every other time. You can have more if you want it.   #4: …love isn’t a business contract! I read a quote from a woman who says she feels okay that she settled for her partner since marriage, after all, is like “a mundane non-profit business.” A mundane non-profit business? Goodness, what kind of marriage is that? Personally, I prefer to be alone than spend time with people who don’t speak in some way to my heart. Don’t you? Marriage or your big relationship should be the same way! Let your heart have a say.   #5: …When the novelty of coupledom wears off, you’re stuck with each other! All day. All night. All weekend. All the time. Watching not just your favorite shows but theirs. Withstanding not just their acceptable habits, but their annoying ones, too. Do you want to spend all your quality time with someone you wouldn’t give your high-quality stamp of approval?   #6: …settling is a sign you’re pessimistic about your future. It says you think you’ll never meet someone who adores you, who’s healthy and right for you, and who you love wholeheartedly in return. Be a dating optimist! If you want to feel happy, challenged, smart, pretty, safe and attracted to your partner, you can. You first have to believe the right partner is out there for you, and then begin asking for him or her to come rolling on into your life.   #7: …you deserve more! If you want to feel amazing about yourself and feed your healthy self-esteem, you should partner with a wonderful, respectable person you’re madly attracted to in some special way. Settling with someone you don’t respect and adore is a way of diminishing yourself. You deserve someone as great in heart and soul as you are.
What makes a woman sexy? Posted on Jul 13, 2014 at 07:30 PM

What makes a woman sexy?

 

A woman's sexiness is not a precise formula, but is rather a complex concoction of charm, charisma, confidence, conversation, composure, cleverness, and of course, attractiveness. Sexiness is a woman's ability to continually inspire the sexual curiosity of a man, through her appearance and attitude.

 

The defining feature of a sexy woman is that she manages to gravitate a man's sexual thoughts continuously and spontaneously in her direction, even when she is absent. She is timeless in the face of other female novelties, and never becomes a fleeting memory. In fact, a man who has experienced her does not satisfy his curiosity. He instead thrives on her energy and desires her more.

 

A sexy woman is the mystique that mirrors and matches a man's masculinity. To understand what a sexy woman IS, we must first substantiate what a sexy woman is NOT.

 

*A sexy woman is not always erotic. Turning a man on does not necessarily stimulate his sexual curiosity. Any decent looking woman clad in a short skirt, tight top, with a toned tush and chiselled cleavage can arouse a man. A sexy woman does far more. She manages to weave herself into the inner echelons of the man's mind, making him not simply lust, but also wonder about her. She remains tangled in the web of his thoughts long after his erection has gone soft. She constantly evokes in him the most far-fetched fantasies, even under the most innocent and platonic of circumstances.

 

*A sexy woman is not necessarily exceptionally beautiful or hot. There is a subtle difference between a sexy woman and a beautiful one. Some women are beautiful "eye candy" but lack a sexually engaging element that continually fuels a man's interest. Some women look less than a perfect ten, yet their composure and cleverness enhances their sex appeal tenfold. And some, the true mistresses of seduction, are both beautiful and sexy.

 

*A sexy woman is not a product of an aesthetic or cosmetic routine. Sexy woman are comfortable in their skin and that is precisely why they are so confident. True sexiness is only semi based on tangible aesthetics; the rest is an aesthetic display of intangible qualities that challenge a man to recognize the woman's sophistication. A sexy woman does not flaunt herself and scream "look at me"; she rather unravels herself, catching the man's peripheral gaze, until he cannot help but always look at her.

 

So what does make a woman so irresistibly sexy, that a man is continually attracted to her?

 

*A sexy woman is instinctually smart. A sexy woman is intellectually a step ahead of her man in the imagination and creativity of the rapport, or at the very least, at his level. She cleverly fathoms ideas, constantly surprises, and entertains. She takes risks in romance, reads between the lines, and tweaks circumstances in her favor. She is an excellent conversationalist, knows how to steer attention towards herself, through her words, actions and suggestions, without suffocating her man.

 

*A sexy woman is a talented, sensual siren. She hones her gifts and presents them to the man through the five senses: sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. She ignites the hormonal and chemical combustion of both his animalistic drives and rational thinking patterns, until he naturally associates random sensory stimulation with cravings for her.

 

*A sexy woman is a shape-shifter. A sexy woman is not afraid to be a woman and exhibit traditional roles with her man. She is also not shy about being strong and dominant when necessary. She responds to her man by assuming different roles, under different circumstances. During sex, she is neither adverse to subordinating herself and submissively yielding to her partner's desires, nor is she afraid to demand or extort pleasure from him when it suits her.

 

*A sexy woman is an honest one who makes her own rules, communicates them, and lives by them. As versatile and accommodating as she is, she is not a doormat to be stomped upon. She has clear standards and sticks to them, and will not allow her integrity to be violated by any man. She stands up for herself when necessary, and does not allow herself to be guided by a man's principles without careful, personal scrutinization first.

 

*A sexy woman is playfully spontaneous, yet satisfying. She is open-minded. She makes and responds to new suggestions, always initiating a carefree, gentle tease. She is nevertheless completely attainable, and always delivers what she promises. A sexy woman enjoys finishing a game as much as she enjoyed started it, but she is endowed with such creative and physical energy that she can play the game forever, if the man wishes. She is not a creature of habit, but of habitual transition. She knows that when she monotonously and constantly caves into granting every last of a man's whimsical desires, she ceases to be challenging or sexy.

 

*A sexy woman is respectable. She is intelligent and elegant, tasteful and graceful. She is neither angelic or innocent, nor is she sleazy or superficial. Her strong sexual nature does not scandalize or pervert her poised qualities, but rather makes her charming and captivating. She is in complete control of her sexual desires, and decides when to manifest them, and with whom.

 

*A sexy woman truly makes a man weak. A very sexy woman is a man's kryptonite, the only universal force capable of controlling his reproductive anatomy, contaminating his mind, and morally tempting him into sinful situations beyond demonic devices, all at the same time.

 

But the true symbol of a sexy woman is that she is never destructive, and always leaves a man better off than before she met him.

 

 

  

 

How to not settle for less in a relationship Posted on Jul 02, 2014 at 04:58 PM

How to not settle for less in a relationship.

 

You’ve been single for a while, and since you really really want to be in a relationship, you start to bargain with yourself. You think, “Maybe I could just settle for someone I like just enough” instead of waiting for one who will truly make your heart floweth over. Well, here’s the sign I’d post in that puddle of pessimism: No settling allowed!

 

To make it clear why I don’t think you should settle for “eh” when it comes to a lifetime love partner, here are 10 reasons why settling works against you. Don’t settle for love, because…

 

#1: …settling is a choice made from fear. Don’t choose a relationship because you’re afraid to be alone. Or because you’re afraid you won’t find someone better. Or because you’re afraid you’re not good enough to attract someone who’s nuts about the real, true you. Be strong, not scared! You’re a tough cookie and you know you’re meant for more, so don’t let fear make decisions for you. Trust in the good life can bring you.

 

#2: … passion is like a hot pepper in a good soup. In other words, it changes in flavor, but it doesn’t diminish. If you choose a relationship with a passion and attraction to the whole person (not just their looks), the rewards of that emotional attraction can still be there decades later. But choose a relationship without that emotional passion? You could end up with a soup with no flavor at all.

 

#3: …friendship marriages are different than deep, romantic ones. Yes, some people can commit to an arranged marriage and still stay together for the long run. But it can take years to develop any emotional zing—if ever they do at all. Relationships can offer so much more than someone who cleans the toilet or puts gas in the car every other time. You can have more if you want it.

 

#4: …love isn’t a business contract! I read a quote from a woman who says she feels okay that she settled for her partner since marriage, after all, is like “a mundane non-profit business.” A mundane non-profit business? Goodness, what kind of marriage is that? Personally, I prefer to be alone than spend time with people who don’t speak in some way to my heart. Don’t you? Marriage or your big relationship should be the same way! Let your heart have a say.

 

#5: …When the novelty of coupledom wears off, you’re stuck with each other! All day. All night. All weekend. All the time. Watching not just your favorite shows but theirs. Withstanding not just their acceptable habits, but their annoying ones, too. Do you want to spend all your quality time with someone you wouldn’t give your high-quality stamp of approval?

 

#6: …settling is a sign you’re pessimistic about your future. It says you think you’ll never meet someone who adores you, who’s healthy and right for you, and who you love wholeheartedly in return. Be a dating optimist! If you want to feel happy, challenged, smart, pretty, safe and attracted to your partner, you can. You first have to believe the right partner is out there for you, and then begin asking for him or her to come rolling on into your life.

 

#7: …you deserve more! If you want to feel amazing about yourself and feed your healthy self-esteem, you should partner with a wonderful, respectable person you’re madly attracted to in some special way. Settling with someone you don’t respect and adore is a way of diminishing yourself. You deserve someone as great in heart and soul as you are.

 

#8: …if you settle, there may come a day later in your life when you feel you’re missing something. Are you prepared to battle with that? Someday, when you see couples who seem to care deeply for each other in palm-sweating, butterfly-churning ways, do you want to think, “What have I done? I never had that…” or do you want to smile, hug your honey and say, “Love is amazing. We have that, too.”

 

#9: …you deserve a big, bad, wonderful love! Long-term commitments are marathons, not sprints. If you’re going to go the distance, you want someone next to you that makes the run worth doing—through the highs, the lows, the effort and the exhaustion. Give yourself the gift of a wonderful life for the whole long run.

 

#10: …if you’ve settled with a so-so someone, you won’t be open when your half-orange comes along! Your other half is so desperately hoping you’ll be open. Do yourself the favor of making sure you are. Don’t lie down into a relationship if it’s not going to make you stand up and shine. Celebrate yourself and the love you’re meant to have, and don’t settle for anything less!

 

Reasons why long distance relationships do not work Posted on Jul 02, 2014 at 03:30 PM

10 Reasons Why Long-distance Relationships Just Don't Work

 

Beyond the first few months of giddy affection and the feeling of butterflies, few -- if any -- romantic relationships are easy. Sure, some look that way, but usually that's because two people are putting in a lot of work behind the scenes.

Long-distance relationships are even more difficult to maintain, and the reasons why they can fail are numerous. Many long-distance relationships certainly succeed, but they require careful navigation from the people involved to steer through the obstacles brought on by geography.

Of course, with the right mindset, plenty of emotional preparation and lots of work throughout, long-distance relationships can and do work out. But many potential pitfalls await every hopeful attempt at cross-country love.

What are 10 reasons long-distance relationships just don't work? Here's a clue: Romances rarely come to a boil when conducted by fax.

 

Couples in long-distance relationships have to make up for a serious lack of face time. In this modern age, there are plenty of alternatives: phone calls, text messages, instant messaging and pretty much any other communication technology developed since the carrier pigeon. However, much of our hasty electronic communications are hammered out in shorthand, and this can easily become the native language of long-distance relationships.

The flip-side of this is that these forms of communication often don't pay off with a truly fulfilling interaction. Whereas it was once easy to chat in person, now those normal, daily interactions are severely curtailed. It requires real effort to keep in touch and feel connected.

If the relationship began long distance, it might be easier to communicate from afar because that dynamic is the only one that's existed. If both parties are used to being in one another's presence, it might become increasingly disheartening to communicate in less personal ways as time goes on.

A relationship can morph into a voice-and-text situation that assumes its own shape, making it somewhat strange when a couple actually spends time together in person after a long absence.

There is one type of person who does well with long-distance communication: the man or woman who truly values his or her own space (and a lot of it), but also wants to nurture a connection with a loved one.

What makes an Alluring Woman? Posted on Jun 30, 2014 at 04:02 PM

What makes an Alluring Woman?

 

1) Smile as often as you can.

Men are most attracted to a woman who is happy. A smile is like a big neon sign that tells the world you’re a happy person and probably fun to be around. We’re all attracted to that kind of person. Besides, smiling works those muscles in your face and keeps your face firmer, slowing the aging process. (At least it seems like that would have to be the case.) Plus, every time you smile, it’s kind of like you’ve just given yourself a face lift. Smiling counters gravity. So ladies, lift those faces, work those muscles and smile your heart out. (Hmmm, now isn’t that an interesting turn of words? Smile your heart out, let your heart out so others can see it. Fun, huh?)

 

2) Laugh frequently.

When you hear someone laughing, doesn’t it make you want to go over there and be with them, to join in the fun? A person who laughs easily is assumed to be happy. When you laugh, you’re relaxed and self-consciousness flies out the door. Attractive means to draw toward you. Everyone wants to be around happy people. Why not be that person that people are attracted to? Plus, laughter creates endorphins, which is good for you immune system, and most likely, keeps you younger. At least you’ll feel younger.

 

3. Look directly into men’s eyes…with a little smile on your lips.

The other thing men said they were most attracted to was a woman who genuinely likes herself, who’s comfortable with who she, who likes how she looks, and who’s not self-conscious. If you’re self-conscious it’s difficult to look people in the eyes. If you can’t look a man in the eyes you can’t really connect. It’s the primary signal to a man that you’re open to him advancing closer. Without that eye contact, that permission, most men will turn and go somewhere else. (They need to feel they have about a 95% chance of success.) Practice looking at people slightly longer than is comfortable, with a little hint of a smile. Use people who don’t matter so you’re not intimidated. Does it make people notice you more, become more interested in you? It’s amazing how a few seconds of eye contact can make all the difference. They don’t call it a “come-hither” look for nothin.

 

4. Walk with grace and self-confidence.

It was funny how often men said they were attracted to a woman who had good posture. When you stand straight you’re physically more attractive, you tell the world you’re proud of who you are, comfortable with how you look, and someone said, “It makes your boobs stick out.” That may be all it is, but I think a woman who stands tall is truly beautiful. A woman with bad posture, even a classically beautiful woman, falls short. (pardon the pun 

 

5. Flirt, but keep it subtle.

Men said the only thing that was more scary than approaching a new woman, or moving to the “next level” with her, was the possibility of physical danger. (Isn’t that so cute?) The lingering eye contact and smiling from across the room are part of that subtle flirting. A touch on the arm actually moves things to the next level, letting him know you’re open to him. A woman who’s guarded doesn’t usually touch a man and men know that. Flirting is being friendly, keeping the door open, letting them know we’re not going to embarrass them. But it must be subtle. Part of being alluring is the mystery. If we’re too overt, it becomes crass.

 

6. Have style, be classy.

An alluring woman is a classy woman. When you pay attention to the little details, then you stand out above the rest. An alluring woman is an exceptional woman. Look around and you’ll see for yourself. Become exceptional by taking those extra steps with your hair, make-up, and clothes. But don’t overdo it, keep it simple. Let your true beauty shine through. When everything is overdone, you can’t see the women beneath all the layers. And men are usually turned off by a woman with too much hair, make-up, jewelry… well, you know, too much.

 

7. Enjoy your femininity.

Men said they found a woman who obviously enjoys being a woman to be extremely attractive. Even if you’re just going to the post office, if it makes you feel more feminine, put on a little lipstick, blush, and mascara. A quick brush through the hair and you’re ready. Jeans and a T-shirt can be very attractive on a woman who enjoys being a woman. On a woman who doesn’t care, they’re just “guy” clothes, something to cover the body, keep it warm. Oh yes, paint those toenails…red if you dare. Then, instead of boring sneakers, throw on some of those great open-toed slings or sandals that are in all the stores right now. SEXY! You’ll feel it and, trust me, he’ll notice it.

 

8. Wear sexy lingerie.

It may sound silly, but sexy lingerie affects how you “are.” You’ll feel sexier, more sensual, more womanly, more attractive. Men don’t know what’s going on, but they can sense that you’re different and that difference comes across as alluring. Can you see how subtle all this is? And it’s fun. So, girl, get out there and play with this stuff and notice how differently men respond to you. Let loose, get creative and enjoy…

 

How men fall in love Posted on Jun 30, 2014 at 03:55 PM

How Men Fall in Love – The Seven Stages of Love-

 

The feelings of love may be the same for both sexes but the stages of love are an entirely unique experience. Understand how men think and how men fall in love.

 

When women fall in love, it’s filled with bursts of happiness and miss-you texts. When men fall in love, well, it’s just different. So how do men fall in love and what really goes on in a man’s mind?

 

For men, falling in love is a happy experience, but love doesn’t really kick in for a while. While women may experience an intense surge of affections as soon as they meet a guy they like, the mind of men doesn’t really work that way.

 

Find out how men fall in love and the different stages they experience here. How men fall in love – The seven stages of love

 

Stage 1 – Appreciation

This is all about physical appearance and instant attraction. Now this should clear the doubts out for women though. Men are rather shallow when it comes to getting attracted at first sight.

While women may fall in love in the first conversation, men are attracted to a woman only for her physical aspects, and nothing else.

Physical appearance is paramount for men, but it may not necessarily be the entire package. Each guy has his own preferences in what he likes about a woman, be it her face, her legs, her smile or even the way she runs her hands through her hair.

A guy may not even know what it is about a girl that he likes, but if he finds something attractive in her, he may experience the appreciation stage. 

 

Stage 2 – Infatuation

Men appreciate a lot of women on a daily basis. They try to steal second glances or get a girl’s attention all the time. But it’s not always a success, either because he’s not trying hard enough or because the woman’s just not interested in him. The infatuation stage of how men fall in love is also the wooing stage of love for men in the dating game.

A man may appreciate a lot of women, but he doesn’t really get infatuated by all of them. If he appreciates a woman, and is interested in wooing her or pursuing her, he enters into the infatuation phase.

 

A man may pursue a woman in various ways, but if she doesn’t accept his advances he usually forgets the girl as just another attractive girl he wanted to go out with. It’s easier for a man to like a girl one day and forget he ever liked her the next because he has so many stages to deal with before he even makes up his mind on falling in love.

 

Stage 3 – Attraction

If an attractive girl reciprocates to a guy’s advances, he enters into the attraction stage of love. Until this stage, a guy can walk away from a girl without any pain or heartbreak even if the girl rejects him. He’s not really trying too hard, and he’s not really fallen in love to care about a rejection when he’s just trying to get lucky. But if a girl does show the slightest sign of reciprocation or interest in the guy, or even if he assumes she’s into him, the guy digs deep into this stage, the attraction stage. In this stage, he decides to pursue the girl and make her like him.

 

Stage 4 – Impression

Understanding how men fall in love is complicated stuff, but quite frankly, he’s nowhere close to falling in love right now even in this stage. All he wants to do is make the girl like him. He shows off his mating potential to her. He plans dates and splurges on gifts to please the girl. He’s definitely not in love, but he does want something good to come out of this stage of impressions.

 

Stage 5 – Conviction

If a guy’s successfully breezing through the different stages of love, he’d start to wonder if there’s something more in the air. But instead of falling in love with the girl, all he’s worried about is how to convince the girl to fall in love with him. He would really like the girl in this stage and would definitely want to go out with her, but the uncertainty would still confuse him and he would not be at ease until he’s certain the girl likes him. 

 

This stage is especially prominent when a guy falls in love with a friend. He can’t really try to impress her by buying gifts or taking her out on dates, but yet, he wouldn’t be able to stop pondering over how to convince the girl to go out with him. In this stage, all a guy cares about is how to get the girl to like him.

 

Stage 6 – Reaffirmation

If he’s able to convince the girl and make her fall in love with him, he’s a happy man. He likes where the dating game is heading.

But until now, in his pursuit of getting the girl to like him, he’s not asked himself if he really likes the girl and whether he actually wants to go out with her. Until this stage of love, getting the girl to like him was a goal he’s been focused on. Once the girl is in love with him, only then does a man seriously start to consider if he wants to have a relationship with the girl who now loves him. It’s a selfish move, but it’s something evolution has taught all male species. “Don’t waste time thinking. Spend your time searching for more places to bust a nut.” Now that the girl is in love with him, he takes a couple of days to sit back and weigh the pros and the cons of being in a relationship with that girl. Does he really love the girl too? Will he be happy with her? Is she the woman he wants and needs?

 

Stage 7 – He’s ready to love

If a man’s convinced that he truly likes the girl and wants to be with her, he enters this final stage of love where he’s ready to fall in love with the girl. On the other hand, if he’s not really convinced that the girl is the right mate for him, he may start avoiding her or losing interest in pleasing her because of his confusion. Ever dated a really great guy who started behaving like a jerk a couple of weeks into love? Well, you know what happened now, don’t you?

 

Turning the game in your favor

 

How men fall in love with a woman is annoying. And it’s more annoying to know that men have to actually make women fall in love with them before they even think about going out with you, but that’s the way men fall in love and they really have no choice about it. But if you really want to beat the guy in his own game, don’t make it obvious that you really like him at the very first instant. Keep it simple and play hard to get for a while.  It’ll make him work harder to win your love, and when he does finally win you over, he’ll never ever want to leave you because you’re such a tough catch to get or let go! 

 

Well, you may now know how men fall in love with women and the seven stages of love for a man, but if you want to win his heart over and make him want you, always remember to make him work for your affection.

 

 

  

 

 

How to get a man to commit or fall for you Posted on Jun 30, 2014 at 02:23 PM

Get a man to commit or fall for you

 

If you have been wondering how to take your relationship with your man to the next level, listen up! This is often the most overlooked area for plenty of women. So many women are just busy trying to figure out how to GET a man to commit that they end up losing the man or themselves in the process.

 

Some women end up trying too hard. They try to be pretty, do things for men to love them, change the way they look so a man will want them more or accommodate anything to get love.

 

I have a little boy. Why is this info important to you? Well, if you look at how boys behave, you will know that one thing they absolutely LOVE to do is TEASE!

 

When you are playful with a man, you will begin to speak his language. He will automatically find you alluring, enchanting, and hard to resist. I guarantee it.

 

The truth is, there is a boy in EVERY man. This is why they are wired to defend their cherished freedom. Men want the freedom to drop their guard and just be themselves. If you can get a man to associate you with being playful, you'll most likely get him to do just about anything for you.

 

Be playful, be sly, be mischievous, be witty and your charm will intoxicate him. Forget about trying to use externals like your body or even sex to get his attention. You have to speak his language in order to get on his mind then he'll start to speak yours.

 

 

 

 

Thoughts to leave in the past Posted on Mar 04, 2014 at 06:40 PM

Thoughts to leave in the past

 

A new way of thinking has become the necessary condition for responsible living and acting.  If we maintain obsolete values and beliefs, a fragmented consciousness and self-centered spirit, we will continue to hold onto outdated goals and behaviors.

-Dalai Lama

 

If you want to move forward, you must change your way of thinking and leave these thoughts behind you:

 

“I don’t have a choice.” – You write your own destiny through the choices you make.  You become what you repeatedly do.  It is more important to know where you are going and why, than to get there quickly.  Do not mistake activity for achievement.  Every time you are tempted to react to the same old circumstances in the same old way, ask yourself, “Do I want to be a prisoner of the past, or a pioneer of the future?”  Read As a Man Thinketh.

“Life is easy.” – Life is NOT easy, it IS difficult.  That’s the greatest truth there is.  It’s great because once you understand and accept this truth, you can move forward with your life.  Once you thoroughly know in your heart and mind that life is difficult, then life gets a lot easier to deal with.  Because once difficulty is accepted as a foundation, it no longer surprises you or stops you from building a lifestyle that rises above it.

“The way it is now is the way it will always be.” – Don’t confuse your path with your destination.  Just because it’s stormy now, doesn’t mean you aren’t headed for sunshine.  And remember, you cannot heal a lifetime of pain overnight; be patient with yourself, it takes as long as it takes, but your happiness is worth the wait.

“The sky is falling.” – When everything in your life is coming together, you can hold on to the belief that ‘everything happens for a reason’ with frivolous ease.  But when everything’s falling apart – your relationships, your health, your finances, etc. – it takes tremendous effort to wrap your mind and heart around that belief and hold onto it for dear life.  Yet you must.  For in that belief lies your hope, your courage, and your strength to move forward.  Read The Last Lecture.

“Everyone else is doing better than me.” – Do not feed your insecurities, or they will consume you.  Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel.  We listen to the noise of the world, instead of ourselves.  So stop the comparisons; listen to your own inner voice and your own soul.

“That’s unrealistic.” – To be successful, you have to be a little unrealistic.  You have to believe that something totally different than what has happened for an eternity can happen.  Think about it.  Being realistic doesn’t change anything; being unrealistic does.  Doesn’t it seem a bit unrealistic to be able to walk into a dark space, hit a switch, and instantly fill the entire space with light?  Fortunately Thomas Edison didn’t think so.

“I wish.” – The best thing you can do for yourself is to stop saying “I wish,” start saying “I will,” and then go do something about it.  The world isn’t going to dominate itself.  You just have to wake up one morning and decide that you don’t want to feel like this anymore, ever again.  And then make a change, just like that.

“It’s too late.” – Believing it’s too late is the end of your journey; believing in yourself is an endless destination.  Trust yourself.  Break the rules.  Don’t be afraid to fail.  Ignore those who doubt you.  Work your butt off.  And be sure to give something back before you’re done.  Read The Art of Non-Conformity.

“I can’t.” – Nobody is going to blindside you and hit you as hard as life will.  Sometimes life will beat you to the ground, and keep you there if you let it.  But it’s not about how hard life can hit you; it’s about how hard you can be hit while continuing to move forward.  That’s what true strength is.  And that’s what winning the game of life is all about.

“This situation couldn’t get any worse.” – Nothing is good or bad, as thinking makes it so.  Be determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation you may find yourself.  For you will eventually learn that the greater part of your happiness or unhappiness is determined not by your specific circumstances, but by your disposition and perspective.

Life is change; it is forever moving. Posted on Mar 03, 2014 at 03:28 AM

 

Life is change; it is forever moving.  Staying stuck is a choice.

 

For it is a choice, not a chance, that determines your destiny.  The road may be long, but it’s wide open.  As Lao Tzu once said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”  If you don’t like the way your life is at the moment, you have the choice to change it.  Actually, you owe it to yourself to change it.  But you can only shift your current situation one small step at a time.

 

In other words, to get through even the most difficult times and circumstances you need to take baby steps, and you must keep on stepping.

 

So if you feel stuck right now, it means you aren’t stepping.  And it’s probably because…

 

You haven’t taken responsibility for your circumstances. – Too many people have a habit of blaming their circumstances or mistakes on bad fate or bad luck.  Too few will admit that their situation is a direct outcome of the choices they’ve made.  In life, this is the foundation you need to correct in order to grow.  You must accept your current situation, take responsibility for it, learn from it, make the necessary changes, and move forward.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

You’ve given in to your fears. – If you’re doing big things and pushing for your dreams, you are bound to encounter situations that scare you and make you feel uncomfortable.  So what.  Move forward with gusto.  Remember that the extent to which we sometimes allow fear to rule our lives is truly startling and unnecessary.  Especially when you consider one very important fact about fear: It’s a total figment of your imagination.

You continue to ignore your calling. – What you seek, whether you realize it or not, is the actual feeling of being ALIVE and LIVING your life your own way.  You don’t have to satisfy everyone else.  You just have to find something to believe in – something that anchors you and keeps you looking forward, regardless of what others are doing or saying.  For it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.

You’ve become accustomed to negativity. – It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.  The biggest wall you must climb is the one you have built in your mind.  If you don’t control your attitude, then it will control you.  Negative feelings are like weeds; if you don’t fully extract their roots, they will keep coming back.  So take control of your destiny.  Believe in yourself.  Ignore those who try to discourage you.  Avoid negative people, places, things, and habits.  Don’t give up, and don’t give in to consuming the garbage these negative sources are trying to feed you.  Read The How of Happiness.

You don’t appreciate what you have. – Pause for a moment.  Breathe in slowly and deeply.  Exhale.  Feel the miracle of your breath.  And say, “Thank you.”  You probably woke up with a few aches and pains this morning, but you woke up.  You’ve seen better days, but you’ve also seen worse.  You might not have everything you want right now, but you have everything you need to move forward.  Life isn’t perfect, but it sure is good.

You keep worrying about a time that no longer exists. – You can’t have a better today if you’re still thinking and worrying about yesterday.  Whatever could have been or should have been, doesn’t matter.  This moment is here and now for you to live.  It’s okay to not have all the answers yet.  In fact, you’ll never have ALL the answers.  Just continue the journey, focus on the present, do you best, and trust the process.

You keep looking for happiness outside yourself. – Enlightenment is not the accumulation of knowledge; it is the full realization of who you already are.  True wealth has nothing to do with material possessions; it is the surrender to an abundance that has no limit.  What you seek is not somewhere else at some other time; what you seek is here and now, within you.  The more you look for it outside yourself, the more it hides from you.  Relax, remember the source of your deepest desires, and allow yourself to know their fulfillment.

You’re still looking for the easy road. – Someday you will look back on your life and realize that everything worthwhile you’ve ever accomplished initially challenged you.  And that is as it should be, because big challenges often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary success.  Every struggle arises for a reason – for experience or a lesson.  A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it.  Read The Last Lecture.

You need to let go and move on. – Sometimes being strong and moving on are the only choices you have.  There are some things in life that you may never completely get over.  The best you may be able to do is get through them slowly.  But that’s okay.  The struggle forward is worth the effort.  There’s still a lot of beauty left to be seen on the road ahead.

Get rid of the guy that keeps coming back Posted on Mar 03, 2014 at 03:25 AM

Get rid of the guy that keeps coming back

 

Betches, you all know him. He’s the guy you have a 30-70% chance of hearing from on any given night, the guy who haunts your nightmares, the guy who’s only ‘kind of an asshole’, and yet strangely, the guy who lingers in and around your life like a fucking dementor.

 

Now, we’ve all heard Katy Perry’s song about The One That Got Away and girls, if only it were that easy. Although as a hot betch there will always be a string of guys coming and going from your life, all hoping to get their chance with you, there always remains that one guy who's 'different.'

 

You all know that guy who has managed to stay in your life for like, longer than two years. That guy that you keep hooking up with yet you’ve never been in a serious relationship? That guy whom you’ve convinced yourself you have a ‘special connection’ with? That guy who never does something so douchey that you’d cut him off forever but steadily maintains that just-under-the-radar standoff assholishness? Yup, news flash: you’re obsessed with the one who Won’t Go Away (WGA).

 

Yeah, him. The WGA fucking sucks but in an a weirdly intangible and inexplicable way. It’s kind of like trying to pinpoint one of the bullshit spices/fruits those pretentious connoisseurs claim exists in wine or understand why you don’t give a shit about anyone else’s problems. For some messed up reason, there’s a part of you that’s always drawn to him. Sure you tell him that you’re busy and try to maintain an aura of not caring, yet he always seems to hold a certain place in your heart…well he would, anyway, if you had one.

 

You could easily get over this guy if he would just leave you the fuck alone, but why would he? He’s made a point of sticking himself so firmly in your life that getting rid of him is harder than the diamonds on your Cartier watch.

 

If you casually mention him to your friends they’ll wonder why you’re still even thinking about this loser who has somehow managed to keep you intrigued for so long.

 

Well betches, we’re taking a stand against these bros who think they can keep betches on their roll calls while never actually making any serious moves. It’s time to move on. So the question is, how is it done?

 

We’re going to let you in on a little secret. The key to making a guy want to com sui is to ignore the shit out of him. Stop answering. Morning, night, mid-fucking day. Whatever time you receive that seemingly innocent annoying ass ‘hey what’s up’ text, it’s time to just throw your phone back in your bag and forget about it because a betch’s motto is: you snooze, you fucking lose. This bro has been given ample time to make his move and lock you down. Therefore we must conclude that either he’s just not that into you or has commitment mommy issues. Either way, it’s not your problem.

 

The key to effectively ignoring this guy is the realization and internalization that the 'connection' you feel is really just a very special kind of mind game exuded by a very special and very sad kind of player. He knows what he's doing, and what you're doing for that matter. Yes. He's completely aware that you take 5 minutes longer to respond back than he took to answer you. And yes, he knows if you wait less you're eager to speak to him. You guys have been doing this dance for a while and it's finally time to get the fuck off the dance floor.

 

So the next time you’re tempted to reply to a text with an aloof yet somewhat descriptive, ‘just getting ready to go out, u?" remember that this guy thinks he’s two steps ahead of you. Be three steps ahead of him and repeat the mantra that the one who WGA has G2G. 

10 Signs You Are Dating the Wrong Person Posted on Mar 02, 2014 at 10:00 PM

You Don't Feel Like You Can Be Yourself

Your friends tell you you've changed. You are always watching what you say or how you act, because your partner tends to get on your case or has been critical of you in the past. You just never feel completely relaxed around them, even after dating for a good amount of months. If you can't be who you truly are with your significant other, it's time to think hard about what you are doing in a situation like this...and why. No one is worth this much sacrifice.

 

 

You're Unhappy

While it's true that our partners aren't responsible for our happiness, they should certainly make our days a little brighter! Someone who is dating the right person consistently enjoys the relationship and feels a general sense of happiness (arguments aside!). If you find yourself unhappy most of the time -- and especially when you are with them -- then this may be a sign that this isn't the best person for you.

 

 

They Exhaust You

Instead of feeling energized after hanging out with your partner, you feel emotionally drained most of the time. They seem to always have something to complain about, or just have a negative outlook on life. Either way, the person you choose to spend your life with should really lift you up rather than drag you down. And it shouldn't feel like "work" most of the time.

 

 

The Friend Factor

If you are with someone and don't really want to introduce them to your friends, this is not a good sign (and you should ask yourself why!). If you are with someone and they never bring you around their friends, it's another sign. If your most trusted friends are expressing concern about your relationship, take heart. These people may be able to see things more objectively than you, so it's important to be open and hear what they have to say.

 

 

You Never Envision the Future Together

After a certain amount of time together, it is normal to start thinking about what the future might be like as a couple. If you have been with your partner for awhile and just don't see how it would ever work together down the line, it might be a good idea to evaluate why you are with this person and what you are really looking for.

 

 

You are Like Night and Day

He loves to go out every night and sleep late. You like to just be home and get an early start. He wants to be together seven nights a week, while you love time with your girlfriends. Compatibility is an essential ingredient for a happy and peaceful union, and if you and your partner have many fundamental differences, it may make things that much harder.

 

 

You're Not Excited to See or Hear From Them

She calls you...and you send it to voicemail. Or sometimes you actually avoid him. You realize that you feel completely ambivalent when you are around him. Many of us go through the motions and are so afraid to be alone that we stay in situations which aren't fulfilling. Dating should be fun, exciting and heartwarming, not another chore. It's not always going to be sunshine and roses, but you should feel happy to see them most of the time.

 

 

You Don't Feel Good about Yourself

In addition to feeling happy, a person in a good relationship usually has a positive self esteem. Sure, they will have some doubts and insecurities (who doesn't?), but the time they spend with their partner will make them feel better about themselves, not worse. In contrast, if your partner exacerbates your self doubts and undermines your confidence, it's time to stand up for yourself...and say see ya later!

 

 

The Cons of Staying Together Outweigh the Pros

A cost-benefit analysis can actually be helpful in situations other than at the office. Sit down for a few minutes and write down the advantages of staying with your partner. Then list the disadvantages. When you compare the lists, you will either find that the benefits outweigh any disadvantages, or that reasons to break up are more compelling than the ones to stay together.

 

 

Your Instincts are Whispering - Get Out

As a general rule, the voices inside us are there for a reason, and they should be listened to. Don't ignore the subtle red lights your subconcious is warning you about. Ultimately, our hearts know what is right for us. Give your inner voice free rein and let it direct you to the conclusions that are best for you. 

 

Find someone who treats you like you need to be treated and makes you happy. Someone who makes you feel good about yourself, and whom the people you trust encourage you to be with. 

Be the Best You Today! Posted on Mar 02, 2014 at 09:55 PM

Be The Best You Today!

 

What was your New Year’s resolution this year? Perhaps, you aimed to be a better person. Maybe you wanted the 2014 version of yourself to become more productive – more accomplishments, less procrastination. At the start of this year, you had a goal of becoming the best you. Assessing your self today, have you become the best you? Have you achieved any of your goals that you made at the start of the year?

 

How do we strive to become a better version of ourselves? We just have to keep our goals in mind. It may sound easy and simple. Thinking and planning of what you want to be may be effortless for some. But, turning these plans into actions and walking your talk take a lot of effort and discipline.

 

Here, I provided five simple ways to becoming a better you and a happier you. By following these 5 easy steps, you are on your way to living a happier life. Everything else in your life will just fall into pieces. The different aspects of your life such as love, career, friends, and family will harmonize with each other. Soon, you can dance to the rhythm of life.

 

First, try adopting a positive perspective. Life has its ups and downs. It is up to you to see the silver lining in each situation you are faced with. In moments when you feel like there is no hope left, you just have to create your own sunshine. The law of attraction, based on The Secret written by Rhonda Byrne, says that constantly thinking of an event attracts it to happen. The same concept is found in The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. The main character of the book believes that when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it. Through having a positive mindset, positive events will happen in your life.

 

Second, smile and laugh often. Do not be too hard on yourself, take a breath, and loosen up. You do not have to take everything seriously all the time. You will only stress yourself if you do. Take your problems lightly and laugh often.

 

Third, try being a Yes Man. Have adventures on your free time and invite some friends to join you. Try something you have never done before. Sometimes, we all need to unleash the inner child in us.

 

Fourth, share the love and happiness. There is no better way to feel good than by sharing it with other people. Pass on smiles to strangers instead of pokerfaced reactions and frowns.

 

Fifth, be yourself. Listen to your heart and do what you want to do. Stop comparing yourself with other people. Also, do not confine yourself with what other people want you to be.

 

So, do not wait become a better person. Start today.

 

 

Be The Best You Today! Posted on Mar 02, 2014 at 09:54 PM

Be The Best You Today!

 

What was your New Year’s resolution this year? Perhaps, you aimed to be a better person. Maybe you wanted the 2014 version of yourself to become more productive – more accomplishments, less procrastination. At the start of this year, you had a goal of becoming the best you. Assessing your self today, have you become the best you? Have you achieved any of your goals that you made at the start of the year?

 

How do we strive to become a better version of ourselves? We just have to keep our goals in mind. It may sound easy and simple. Thinking and planning of what you want to be may be effortless for some. But, turning these plans into actions and walking your talk take a lot of effort and discipline.

 

Here, I provided five simple ways to becoming a better you and a happier you. By following these 5 easy steps, you are on your way to living a happier life. Everything else in your life will just fall into pieces. The different aspects of your life such as love, career, friends, and family will harmonize with each other. Soon, you can dance to the rhythm of life.

 

First, try adopting a positive perspective. Life has its ups and downs. It is up to you to see the silver lining in each situation you are faced with. In moments when you feel like there is no hope left, you just have to create your own sunshine. The law of attraction, based on The Secret written by Rhonda Byrne, says that constantly thinking of an event attracts it to happen. The same concept is found in The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. The main character of the book believes that when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it. Through having a positive mindset, positive events will happen in your life.

 

Second, smile and laugh often. Do not be too hard on yourself, take a breath, and loosen up. You do not have to take everything seriously all the time. You will only stress yourself if you do. Take your problems lightly and laugh often.

 

Third, try being a Yes Man. Have adventures on your free time and invite some friends to join you. Try something you have never done before. Sometimes, we all need to unleash the inner child in us.

 

Fourth, share the love and happiness. There is no better way to feel good than by sharing it with other people. Pass on smiles to strangers instead of pokerfaced reactions and frowns.

 

Fifth, be yourself. Listen to your heart and do what you want to do. Stop comparing yourself with other people. Also, do not confine yourself with what other people want you to be.

 

So, do not wait become a better person. Start today.

 

 

Date like a Dude Posted on Mar 01, 2014 at 10:00 PM

Date like a dude

 

Believe it or not, there are some ways women can benefit from taking a cue from our male counterparts. John Gray says that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and I agree. So, let’s take a look at what we can learn from our Martian brothers.

 

1. Men don’t tend to be drama queens. They keep their personal business to themselves rather than seeking attention for it. They strive to be brave and show no weakness, only strength. So often, women remark about their partners, “Getting him to talk about his problems is like pulling teeth.” By nature, men are controlled and competitive; they keep their emotions to themselves.

 

Women are hard-wired to talk and “get out” our feelings, which might be one of the reasons why we live longer. We don’t hold things in. But we can learn to tone this tendency down. If you really need to express yourself, try writing in a journal, talking to a therapist, spiritual counselor or girlfriend. In her book Enchanted Love, Marianne Williamson writes, “There’s nothing more powerful than a woman who knows how to contain her power and not let it leak, standing firmly within it in mystery and silence. A woman who talks too much sheds her allure.”

 

2. Men take care of themselves first. Men aren’t ready to take care of all of your problems, clean your house, run your errands and rub your feet after the first date. They generally take care of themselves first. For a man, listening to a woman’s problems is a lot of work, because he feels like he has no choice but to solve all them. Women are naturally nurturing and caregivers. It is a wonderful quality be to caring and loving, but don’t be afraid to be a bit selfish, take care of yourself first and let the man fend for himself.

 

Women, on the other hand, seem to believe that the more they do for a man, the more he will appreciate her and want to be with her. Not so. He will probably be grateful, but he won’t respect you, and he will expect you to take care of all the details, all of the time.

 

When in early stages of dating, never do for a man what he can do for himself or hire someone to do. You are not a maid, a caterer, errand runner or a laundromat. You have a life and a career to tend to as well. Of course it is great to reciprocate if he takes you out a lot. Be a classy person like you would with a girlfriend, but there is no need to act like his mommy and jump in and take care of everything.

 

3. Men ease into relationsips. Men usually don’t go exclusive with a woman after only one or two dates. They prefer to keep their options open and see what else is out there.

 

I am always a bit surprised when a female client will call me up and say, “Marla, don’t match me up anymore, I just met someone and we really hit it off, he’s everything that I’m looking for, thanks.” Or worse, when I match a woman with one of my male clients and after the first date, she doesn’t want to meet anyone else, but I know for a fact that he is still dating to see whom he feels the most chemistry with.

 

I tell these ladies to date like men and keep their options open. If it doesn’t work out with this guy who is everything you are looking for, you will still be out there meeting people and have a few irons in the fire. You won’t feel as hurt or disappointed if he moves on when you have other options.

 

4. Men don’t discuss everything. Men don’t talk about their relationships or where things are going. They are more into action than words. I personally don’t believe in love at first sight; however, I do believe in lust at first sight. Just see how things go, let him prove himself to you, make sure that he has the qualities that you are looking for in another person. And if you have to ask where the relationship is going, frankly, it’s goin’ nowhere.

 

I hear women all of the time referring to their boyfriend, or talking about how they are in a relationship with a guy, and they just met him three weeks ago! Until you have been dating exclusively for at least a few months, you are not in a relationship, you are dating the guy. I remember talking to one of my girlfriends once about the guy she was dating and she said testily, “We’re not dating, we’re together.” ‘Oh, excuse me,’ I thought. They weren’t married, living together or engaged, so I would call that dating.

 

5. Men don’t overanalyze things, including their dates. Women will try to figure out what the guy meant when he said this or that, or what it meant that he called at a certain time. It’s exhausting. Men just go on their merry way, dating and having a good time while women are driving themselves crazy trying to be a psychic, psychiatrist, or mind reader about every little thing he says or does.

 

Men don’t expect other men to talk about much when they are together. They don’t ask each other about their day, what they did at work or who is dating whom. No, they just want to shoot the breeze with topics like sports, cars, the stock market, etc.

 

6. Men date up. They have no problem expecting to date a woman with supermodel looks while they themselves could stand to hit the gym and lose fifty pounds. Wouldn’t it be fabulous to have the self-esteem of a man? I know that I am speaking to every one of you wonderful ladies out there who are constantly checking yourself out in the mirror to see if you look fat in your pants. I do the same thing.

 

I have not once heard a man — whether he was my friend, boyfriend or husband — mention or ask me whether he looked fat or if I liked his hair or outfit. Most men are perfectly fine with the way they look.  They are what they are, and they happily go about their business of trying to pick up a smoking-hot woman, so much so that they will hold off getting married for years and years until they find exactly what they want. I have had countless male clients who were forty-five plus and had never been married.

 

On the other hand, women often date down. They think time may be running out to find a husband, or they are lonely, or there aren’t many single men left so they go ahead and date or marry someone with qualities less than they would like. I would urge these women to act like men! Keep your cool and wait for someone to knock your socks off!

 

22 Signs He Really Loves You Posted on Mar 01, 2014 at 09:57 PM

22 Signs He Really Loves You

 

1. He pays attention and remembers what you say

 

When you’re getting to know each other, you get to talk about a lot of random things. If a guy is in love with you, he really pays attention and he will remember not only the important things you say, but even random stuff you may have mentioned.

 

2. He lets you know what’s happening in his life

 

Men need space to do their own thing, but if a guy is in love with you he’ll let you know what he’s up to even if you don’t ask him. It doesn’t mean that he’ll let you tag along, but he will let you know where he’s going and who he’s with without having to beat it out of him.

 

3. He puts you first

 

Whether it’s choosing what movie to watch or where to have dinner, he will put your wants and needs ahead of his. He’ll take you to your favorite Japanese restaurant even if he hates sushi, and he won’t complain about it.

 

4. He listens

 

Men aren’t known for being good listeners, but if a man is in love with you, he will. He’ll listen to your stories and your rants. He’ll ask you how your day was and he’ll pay attention to every little detail.

 

5. He makes plans with you

 

It doesn’t matter whether your man is the spontaneous type or the type who plans everything before making a move, if he starts talking about a future with you, you’ll know he’s in love with you.

 

6. His attention is all on you

 

When you’re in a party or any kind of public or social gathering, a man in love won’t notice that hot blonde that just passed by because his eyes are stuck on you.

 

7. He makes time for you

 

Yes, he’s busy, and yes, you are interrupting something important, but he won’t mind. Okay, maybe he will, but he will welcome the distraction and spend a little time with you before he goes back to whatever it is he’s doing.

 

8. He’ll defend you

 

His friends think you’re all wrong for him, but if he’s really in love with you, he’ll stand up for you and defend your relationship. ‘Nuff said.

 

9. He opens up to you

 

A man needs to have an emotional connection with someone before he opens up about his feelings, his problems, and what his plans are for the future. If he trusts you and feels comfortable enough to let you know about these things, then he’s most likely in love with you.

 

10. He’s always there for you

 

A man in love will drop everything when the object of his affection needs him. When you’re in in a tough spot and you need help, or if you need someone to comfort you when you’re feeling sad, he’ll always be by your side.

 

11. He worries about you

 

If you’re driving home alone, or if you’re taking a trip with your friends, the last thing you hear from him before you say goodbye is “Call me when you get there so I know you’re okay.”

 

12. What you think is important to him

 

A man who is in love with you values your opinions. He wants to know your take on things and he may ask you what you think before he makes an important decision in his life.

 

13. He doesn’t let you out of his sight

 

Men are already territorial by nature, so can you imagine how a man in love would react when there are other guys who are trying to get your attention? He’ll put his arms around you more than usual to make sure that the other guys see that you’re off-limits.

 

14. He wants to spend more time with you

 

A man who’s in love with you would want to spend more time with you. You’ll find yourself talking to him more often and he’ll find and use every excuse in the book just to see you.

 

15. He smiles at you for no reason

 

It may seem like a random act of flirting for you, but for a man in love, he can’t help but stare and smile at the girl who makes his heart skip a beat.

 

16. Your annoying quirks are what endear you to him

 

Everyone has one or two annoying habits that can turn people off, but if he’s in love with you, he won’t mind. In fact, it might be what he loves about you.

 

17. He puts you ahead of his friends

 

What?! Is this even possible? Yes, it is. If he’s in love with you, he’ll want to spend more time with you even if his friends think he’s being a wuss.

 

18. He uses the word “We” or “Us” more often

 

Guys often don’t realize they’re doing this, but when they’re in love with someone, they usually substitute “I” or “Me” with “We” or “Us” when talking about what’s going in his life or his plans for the future. This just means you’re already a part of his life. [Read - 7 Obvious Signs He Is Ready To Commit]

 

19. He becomes more touchy-feely when he’s around you

 

Guys who aren’t big on public displays of affection are more open to it when he’s in love with the woman he’s with.

 

20. He tries to impress your friends and family

 

A man in love knows that he has to make a good impression on your friends and family, and he does what he can for them to like him.

 

21. He apologizes

 

If a man is in love with you, he doesn’t want you to be mad at him. He will apologize immediately if he’s done something to offend you.

 

22. Your voice is the last thing he wants to hear at night

 

He calls you up before he goes to bed. Need I say more?

 

Every man is different, but falling in love can make them do things that are out of character. If the guy you’re dating suddenly shows any of these signs, then chances are he is already falling in love with you.

 

 

 

Read Complete Articles: http://www.loveblab.com/signs-a-guy-loves-you

 

Read Complete Articles: http://www.loveblab.com/signs-a-guy-loves-you 

HOW TO BE IRRESISTIBLE TO MEN Posted on Mar 01, 2014 at 09:54 PM

HOW TO BE IRRESISTIBLE TO MEN

 

 

The truth - what we men really find truly irresistible about Women

 

 

Attraction

 

Men often described as simple creatures unable to multi-task yet we can be just as complex as women and our needs are far from straightforward. So girls go back to the drawing board because you may not know as much as you think.Take these genuine things men find irresistible about a female.

 

Smile

A woman with a fantastic smile – especially when it's directed at us has us melting. Firstly up it disarms us, puts us at ease removing our fear of approaching you. A genuine smile allows us to assess your personality – a woman who smiles and laughs unselfconsciously is exceedingly attractive because she appears confident and happy within. The lips are also a very sensual and suggestive part of the body which we cant help but find sexy too.

 

Looks 

To define beauty we are told it's all about the symmetry of the face or so scientists tell us, but don't be fooled. Why are we so often attracted to women whose features aren't perfectly symmetrical. I'll tell you what we love - that scar above her eyebrow, a mole, an uneven tooth or those eyebrows that have us hooked, line and sinker as fishermen say. What it most definately isn't is 'symmetry. In other words it's the little imperfections - that certain something that isn't manufactured or can't be achieved with make-up that gives us a peak into the real you, that makes you unique and truly irresistible. Yes we love attractive good looks, but they ’re the kind of good looks that can’t be achieved using botox, make-up and concealer. Think Lady Gaga and Rosie Huntington Whitley opposites but both beautiful in their own right.

 

Curves

Breasts, bottoms, hips and thighs are a mesmerising fun house of men's minds so don't get hung up over dieting and gym workouts. Yes spend some time at the gym and diet, but know when thinner become 'too thin' when flat abs become too flat. The truth is most of us blokes don’t really care for waif like beauty. On a primal level we’re drawn to women with wide hips the Kim Kardashian silhouette as it signifies that you’re of good breeding stock! After all no bloke wants a girl who is more manly than he is..

 

Intelligence

Now this is the deep side of our nature as contrary to popular belief we are not all about surface appearance. We too are attracted by what’s on the inside. Intelligent conversation is a favourite kind of foreplay! A woman who can debate the ins and outs of the new world order, nuclear disarmament, the political uprising in the Middle East we honestly find a turn-on. A woman who can stimulate our mind as well as our hormones is far more attractive, lets face it we would soon get bored and move on very quickly if it was purely down to looks and sex..

 

Independence

A woman who earns her own money, rents or owns her own place and is in control of where here life is headed is far more attractive for a host of reasons. An independent woman usually has a positive mental attitude as well as bags of self-esteem and self-confidence. Without such qualities she wouldn’t be the success that she is. This is a potent aphrodisiac that we just can’t get enough of.

Is your chemistry meter broken? Posted on Mar 01, 2014 at 09:50 PM

Is your chemistry meter broken?

 

“But we had such amazing chemistry!”

 

Have you ever found yourself saying this to a girlfriend after a man you really seemed to click with just…disappeared?  It’s such a common experience:  you finally meet a man you connect with, you get your hopes up, and then poof, he’s gone.

 

If you’ve been unsuccessful in love, then you can assume your “chemistry meter” is broken.  We don’t need to get into the reasons why here (old childhood wounds, past heartbreak, etc); what we want to address is the now that you can do something about.  So let’s get ready to change things for you…

 

THE CHEMISTRY ILLUSION

 

We women try to take this thing we call chemistry – even though it’s chemistry with a man who isn’t good for us – and we interpret that feeling as “wow, this is somebody, this is something.”

 

We mistake how good a date went for what a man is feeling.  We guess that if there was chemistry and he showed interest, then he must be available, he must want a relationship, and he must want it with us!  But we’re really just guessing all these things about a man we know almost nothing about.

 

What’s more, if you have strong chemical feelings for a guy right away, that’s an instant sign that something is wrong – this is the basis of codependency.   You’re attaching a lot of meaning to very little substance and creating a fantasy.  Chemistry is not a magic emotion:  it is something that builds over time when you feel safe with someone and you build intimacy.

 

So if you can’t go by your chemical intuition, what can you trust?  Follow a much simpler route:

 

GO BY WHAT A MAN DOES

 

How many hours and energy have you spent trying to come up with a reason for why a man doesn’t follow up?   Well, there doesn’t have to be a reason.  Trying to read a man is a useless thing.  Men are pretty simple:  they’re either into you, or they’re not.

 

You will save yourself so much pain and anxiety if you stop the detective work and instead become an observer – of what a man actually does.  If a man likes you, he is supposed to call you and ask you out.  If he likes you, he will follow up with you and keep asking you out.  It’s really as simple as that.

 

Attach no meaning to the fact that you feel all this chemistry with a man unless he’s actually showing you with his actions that he’s moving things forward.  And, so you don’t lose your mind while you’re doing that, there’s something incredibly powerful you should know about…

 

EXPAND YOUR IDEA OF DATING

 

An effective way to correct your chemistry meter is to do what I call Circular Dating.  This means you date more than one man at a time until you have the commitment you want from the man who is right for you.  And you do this by going out with guys you’re not necessarily attracted to but who are doing what they’re supposed to be doing – that is:  calling you, following up with you, and asking you out.

 

Passion comes from something inside you (not from some guy), and then when you feel safe with someone, you let it out.  You’ll be surprised by how passionate some of these guys you’re not initially head over heels for can be…if you give them a chance.

 

If you think you feel so much chemistry for the men who leave you hanging, just imagine what you can experience with a man who truly cares for you, cherishes you, and does what a man is supposed to do when he’s into you!

 

Circular Dating is free therapy:  when you date the guys who show up in your life, you won’t get hung up on any one guy.  You also learn to build chemistry by slowly trusting a man and letting your inner fire come out – with a man who’s truly good to you. Don’t let your chemistry meter allow you to accept less than the behavior – and the love – you deserve.

Find the right man online Posted on Mar 01, 2014 at 09:46 PM

Find the right man online

 

Finding a good man anywhere is difficult to do, but it seems like it's especially hard to find one online. Part of the problem is very few good men use the internet to find women they want to be romantically involved with, while a lot of bad guys prefer to fish for women online. You can find good men online if you follow these ten rules of successful online dating.

 

 

1. Don't hit on men based on their online photos. Many trolls fake their photos either by posting pictures of completely different men or using an image editing program to tweak their pictures to make them look better.

 

2. Be careful of profiles that sound too good to be true. Chances are, if they sound too good, they're probably lying.

 

3. Don't post pictures of yourself in revealing clothing or in a bathing suit. This will attract all the wrong men to your online profile.

 

4. Don't sound desperate in your profile. Don't say anything about looking for a man to settle down with and make babies, even if that is precisely what you are looking for.

 

5. Steer clear of chat rooms that focus on sex or are about hooking up. Of course, you might find this kind of conversation in general chats, too, but it will be far less than the kinds of things you'll find in rooms specifically about sex. Bad guys frequent these online chat rooms to see who they will pick up for a one night stand.

 

6. Make liberal use of the ignore lists. Most chat rooms and dating sites have the option to ignore specific users. If someone is spamming you or saying things you find annoying, don't hesitate to ignore them.

 

7. Use age filters to cut out men you find too old or too young for you. No point in even seeing their profiles if you know you won't date them.

 

8. If you want a man that has certain religious beliefs, then be sure that you state that in your online profile so that you can weed out the kinds of men you don't want.

 

9. Read through his entire profile before you email him. If he doesn't sound like someone you would talk to in real life, don't talk to him online.

 

10. Never fall for a that is eager to get together with you without getting to know you better. If you meet a man online and he starts talking out sex within the first week, then you know you have the wrong guy.

 

Be a truly beautiful woman! Posted on Mar 01, 2014 at 05:13 PM

Be a Truly Beautiful Woman

"For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone."

StepsTips and Warnings

1

Look first for the beauty in others.

2

Care for yourself. Keep your skin soft and glowing, trim your nails and your hair. People see in your grooming your opinion of yourself. Make an effort always to be at your most attractive but be careful of becoming a slave to looks. Appearance, despite what we are told, is not the most important thing. Think about the people you love most dearly; is it their physical beauty you treasure or the beauty of who they are?

3

Your body is truly a temple, therefore treat yourself with the utmost respect. Eat well, do not overindulge and make your health a priority. Find an activity that you enjoy that will also help you keep supple and strong. There is a crushing pressure to be a certain shape but do not give in to it. Let your body settle into its natural curves and cherish them--believe me when I say that there is beauty in every natural body shape. However, if you know that you are truly obese or underweight, take steps to bring your body to its healthiest weight.

4

Dress beautifully and to enhance your loveliness. Express your personality through your clothing and never allow fashion to dictate your wardrobe. In the same way, wear makeup that reveals your face, that does not mask it. Do not project a you that screams for attention or tries to seduce. Beauty used as a weapon loses its power. Simply let your beauty shine and those with eyes will see it.

5

Poise. Walk with a straight back and let your own grace show through the way you move. Keep your head high--but not too high. Do not be afraid to give a good, firm handshake.

6

Cultivate an interest in the people around you. Take the time to ask how people are. Smile with genuine warmth always and welcome everyone with your eyes. Grow in empathy, learn to feel with people, to simply be with them.

7

Choose your friends carefully. Surround yourself with people who understand you and are devoted to you. At all times be the friend you would wish others would be to you. While you seek out faithful friends, don't exclude others who you might find hard to bear, or even disapprove of. You may never become close friends but you should still show kindness.

8

Show grace. Forgive all wrongs. This doesn't mean what was done to you was right. But you if you choose to be bitter, you'll be a slave to what someone else thought, said, did.

9

Life is hard and it can be easy to shrink into a shell and just settle for getting by. Choose to feel strongly, even when it hurts. Take courage and live passionately. Be wise in what you do but be willing to take risks in love. Be alive! Be alive! Be alive!

10

Have a sense of humour! Don't take yourself too seriously but do know that are some things that should never be laughed at.

11

Make the most of the time you have. Pursue your deepest interests, pour time into your worthiest dreams. Offer a kind word every day. Always tell the people closest to you that you love them.

12

People are more valuable than things. Infinitely. Do not use people.Love them. Do not judge people. Love them. If someone wanders off the path, help them. Be merciful to everyone and be humble. We are all weak.

13

Admit your need for love and help. You need love. Seek it but don't pin your life on the approval of others. Simply be the best that you can be.Strength is not measured in hardness. The truly courageous woman faces her deepest hurts and fears. To reveal your beauty, to believe it you must be strong. You must be strong to be vulnerable, to be soft and to weep.

14

Seek the truth. Speak the truth. Live the truth. The truth is absolute, not subjective.

15

Do not let others hinder you or discourage you but neither be invulnerable to hurt. Pain comes with most of the best things in life.

16

Pour yourself into the lives of others. It is a strange but infallible truth that the one who gives her life finds it.

17

Spend time in Nature. Seek what is beautiful and give yourself the opportunity to just soak it all in. Look at art, listen to music.

18

Seek adventure. Real adventure not the substitutes. Always check your motives--why are you doing what you are?

19

In all things, give others the space to be themselves. Let them grow. Help them. You might have to speak the hard truth sometimes but always do so out of genuine love.

20

Relinquish your need for control.

21

Be sincere. Always.

22

Practice being a good listener. Always try learn and share what you have discovered and what means most to you fearlessly.

23

Seek God earnestly. This is deeply personal but it is also the foundation for your entire world. Seek God. Is He there? Who is He?

24

Do not try so hard. Simply rest in who you are. Do not be static. Do not accept wrong, but do be merciful--to yourself.

How to know if you have chemistry Posted on Mar 01, 2014 at 09:25 AM

How to know if you have chemistry

 

 

No two ways about it: Women consider “chemistry” with a man to be the first step toward building a great relationship. And guess what? Most men would probably agree (although they’re far more likely to say things like, “We really hit it off,” or, “We really got along great”).

 

In one way, it’s true…chemistry is the first step on a longer journey toward building a great relationship. But, on closer inspection, it becomes clear that what we think of as chemistry is really just the beginning…the earliest “signals” created by specific kinds of communication between a man and a woman as they get to know each other better.

 

That’s why, when we say there’s chemistry between two people, we’re not talking about confirmation that they’re soul mates. We’re really just saying that they have successfully communicated interest in each other — usually through flirting. When extended, mutual flirting happens, it creates the feedback loop of “heightened interest” in both parties that’s experienced as chemistry. So, in this sense, it DOES matter whether a man and woman have chemistry. After all…a guy can’t know if there’s relationship potential if he can’t successfully connect and communicate with a woman in the first place.

 

All this in mind, let’s get to four ways that a man can test for — and even begin to create — that initial chemical reaction with a woman that he’s just getting to know…

 

#1 Teasing

This one’s a no-brainer. When a man goes out of his way to tease a woman, it not only signals that he’s interested…it also shows that he’s comfortable and confident in his own skin. This is the #1 criteria of potential boyfriend material. One of my favorite ways to tease is to pick out one of a woman’s most attractive qualities, then comment how it doesn’t impress you at all. And then, if the woman teases you back, you can consider it “signal received”…and game on!

 

#2 Sarcasm

This one’s more subtle than teasing. It’s being a little too serious for the situation. A great way to use sarcasm to test for chemistry is to take a woman some place that’s just silly and fun on a first date… maybe an amusement park. Even a dog park. Then proceed to make comments that are too concerned and serious for the setting. Point is, if a guy is sarcastic with a woman that he’s just met and gets similar sarcasm back, it’s a HUGE sign that she’s interested. 

 

#3 Shared Interests

Duh, right? Like they say…the only thing that opposites truly attract is relationship failure.

 

#4 Breaking of physical space

The clearest signal of all. If you can lay your hand on a woman’s back while you guide her through a door, or gently take her hand to lead her up some steps, and she doesn’t subtly “draw back” or increase the distance between you (even better…if she smiles while making eye contact with you) consider it a sure sign of chemistry…and a signal of a potentially deeper, more powerful connection to come.

 

So what do these “chemistry tests” all have in common? When you’re teasing, being sarcastic, sharing interests and breaking into her space, it opens up a line of communication between two people that says “I want to know more about you.”

 

And listen: Everyone wants to meet someone who can make them FEEL something in life as well. That’s why chemistry is not just the opposite of disliking someone. (How many stories have we heard about bickering co-workers who eventually hook up?) Chemistry is actually the opposite of INDIFFERENCE — also known as the way most guys make a woman feel when they approach her.

 

So use these behaviors as powerful tests (and catalysts) for creating that initial chemical reaction in a woman. Then understand that chemistry is actually just the first step of the journey.