Hey, magnus, how you been nice to see you again. I must say that I agree with you and I am like you in all that you have stated. my parents lesson were we are all the same, and it is to sites like this i come too for the people are more open minded about who you date. I do find that at times I do fit in more so with the white men that I have dated they seem to be more open minded on who and what I want to be and do. with out the ideas of someone holding me back due to who I am. they say go for it. and are more in some case more supportive of my off the road ways. but I never want to put a color on love when it finds me.but as men are men you have to weed out the ones who are just in it to experiment and these who truly want and love you for who you are. I happened to be of mixed heritage as it is plainly seen. I am at a cross road. some black find me to light some white find me to light. so who will love this red bone women as I am called by my own.
I have dated several different races but my attraction has mostly been towards white men. I have met and seen many attractive black men but the physical attraction is not there. I know that growing up as a military brat may have had some influence also.
All my life most of the men that were attracted to me were white men. I was always was attracted to them too, but was a little scared. I think I was too skinny for black men. Don't get me wrong all of the men I had relationships with were black. But now I am older, I am leaning towards men that I am attractive to more.
I can't truly say that there is a reason for me to like white guys. For as long as I can remember, I've liked all "colors". Even as a young child, if I saw a boy I liked, I'd say it. No matter his race. As an adult, I still love all men. I've dated mostly black men, but I've had white boyfriends here and there. It was fun and very nice even though we never got around to any physical intimacy. I think that I'm not like the women most of the men around me are use to. Hey, I spent most of my teen years camping and having meetings with venture crew 691!( I was the only black person for most of that time)
I'm quiet, shy around new people, I love to read a lot, I still love cartoons, I'm silly, I post original stories on fanfiction as a hobby and a lot of people tell me I seem innocent and child-like. The black guys around me aren't use to a woman like me so they don't really approach me that much, but I don't mind. I'm not going to limit myself to just one type of guy, anyway.
I want a man who's interested in the same things I'm interested in. Like NARUTOOOO! XD Hehe! Whether it's a Black man, White man, Asian man...(Oohh Yeah! Mama loves her an Asian man! Wooo! Sexy!)I don't mind because a man is a man as long as he truly loves me for me.
When I first came to the USA I had a cultural shok. Well, I did not even speak English at that time, but I always knew one thing: if you really want to understand other cultures, you have to make a first step to find friends from the "other" side. It took me a while to understand the complexity of "melting pot". There are so much hidden hatered among "groups/races", but I think we are all here because we want to learn something new, to explore the world, to open up horizons, etc....Now, when I go back home to my native country I have cultural shok:) Life is changing, we are changing into ,hopefully, better people:)
Once I married a sophisticated and very desirable black man...then he informed me he wanted me AND any other female he felt like. Call me old fashioned but I didn't agree with that... So I once thought the solution was dating my own race instead. It wasn't the same in attraction nor in terms of interest. The only men of my race who were as interested in hip-hop and just having romantic evenings listening to R&B like I do were...well...stupid. They were so busy wearing their pants around their ass bottoms and getting their new kicks...that I was simply embarassed to be around them. So then I came to realize...I dont need t
A man of a particular race to be my partner in life...I just need one of equal personality & intelligence!...which brings me here to the lovely people of I.M. :)
Trixsta I can understand what bleueyze2 might be saying. I love black women, but many in my area are so limited that I have nothing in common with them. Example: I love all kinds of music, since I?m a SONGWRITER, and not just RnB. I love learning about all cultures, not just mine. And lastly as, stated here before by others, I sense more attitude than love from many black women. It?s almost like I have to find one raised outside this area to find a good one. But I will say I do know a few wonderful black women who are married and love and respect their husbands deeply. My mom and sister are the first two that come to mind.
There is a bit of truth in everything said, but will we except it? And if we do what will we do with it? Or will we pretend it?s not there?
bleueyze2 write: I can honestly say i jumped ship and never looked back. Mostly because I find the blk male so very attractive and sexy, not just physically but i love everything about them. I have nothing against my own race but i chose not to date them, i am not attracted to them nor do we have much in commom. I can say I tried to date white men but then realized it just wasnt for me. Everyone is entitled to be chosey as to whom they want to make a relationship with especially if its going to be a life long commitment, so i say dont settle, follow your heart and go after what you know you will truly love and be happy with.
The part here that bothers me a bit is that you stated, "I have nothing against my own race but i chose not to date them, i am not attracted to them nor do we have much in commom."
You have not much in common with your own race? Really? You choose not to date your race on a whole, because you are not attracted to them?
I really get curious when I hear this statement(and you do hear it a lot).
I'm not stating that you shouldn't feel this way, I'm stating it's amazing you really could.
I've stated earlier in this post (much earlier) that I date black men because I'm physically attracted to them...just like a person would date, or not date, blonds because they physically are attracted to them over other hair colors. Beyond that, there is not much more of a reason. I couldn't see stating that you do not find ANY white man attractive in your own race, just as I can't see a woman who doesn't date interracially to say it's because she doesn't find any of them attractive. Then you watch a movie with Taye Diggs in it and she say..."oh yea well that brother is fine."
Just one woman's opinion.
I will date any race, if I'm attracted to the man, but seems to be I find men with dark skin & nice smiles in my dating profile more than any others.
Excellent post Professor X. I must say that where I grew up was similiar to where you grew up. I grew up in a poor neighborhood and it was 100% of the same race, so I did not become familiar with other races until I attended college. I wasn't taught to dislike or distrust other races. My parents didn't raise me that way. I don't have a preference when it comes to race. I've been fascinated by the various cultures and races, as well continually loving my own, since I have broken the racial barriers of my surroundings, where I grew up. I hold no race higher than the next. I just look at us as being one race,the human race, with each having the potential to be just as nice or just as nasty as the next. The only difference, in my opinion, is skin color and hair texture.
Why choose an interacial site? Because the options are more varied compared to a site that is only geared toward one or two races. I have a higher probability of success with more options open.
I would not have a problem dating Caucasian, African American, Asian, American Indian, Italian or whomever.
Each race has something beautiful to offer as far as culture is concerned.
As long as she can respect and try to understand my race, culture and has an open mind as well as liking me for who I am on the inside, not for my outer shell, we should be fine.
Actually I love all races of women. This site seems to offer more choices. What I mean is that if I go to another site the majority of women there are looking for white men. That leaves me out big time. Here on IRM I have more of a chance of meeting a variety of women.
Ah, but what of the black women here? There are plenty of them in the area near where I live so I'm good there.
It's not because I'm Bolivian but because I'm Aymara from Ururu, and I've managed to get out of the country and to obtain a pretty good education (if I say so myself), which means if there's one person who can make many dirty things public, c'est moi.
And that's the trouble they have with my existence. No matter how many times I tell them I'm no threat to their interests beyond the translations I provide for IndyMedia Net outlets, I'm not planning anything in the way of activism or revolutions. I'm a total pacifist.
They just feel more secure keeping me under watch, but that's no way to live. It's stressful, because you never know what morning they're going to show up to interrogate you and take your things. It's discriminatory, because other people who do illegal things are left alone. And it is prejudicial, since they keep phoning my landlords and employers asking for information about me--which causes both to think the worst of me.
As an anecdote, back in '99 I was living in a small apartment in Paterson, NJ. I was going through horrible times, since I had lost my job and had to rent a house, shared with five other guys. They all were potheads, and they even had mj plants growing in the garden. But the rent was cheap, and cheap was all I could afford.
I rented a room in the second floor of the house, and one day the place was surrounded by the police. I though, man, all those guys are going to be in trouble! I myself have never done drugs, I prefer to take good care of my neurons.
Well, the cops came in, walked by the marijuana plants, entered the place (which stank of pot), and went straight to my room. They had come for me, and didn't even pay attention to the guys smoking ganja all around. I was interrogated for half an hour there and after taken to the station, suspected (of all things) of drug trafficking.
Of course they took my things, and after three months they returned them, excusing themselves saying that there was nothing to be basis for arrest. As usual, I was not arrested, just detained. Charges were not pressed against me, but they returned all my things ruined, and I had to sign a release form just like the one now I have to sign here in Canada.
They kept 'visiting' me every other month, with warrants for all sorts of things, from importing controlled substances to distributing bomb-making literature. It was all BS and I was never arrested, but they did make my life so difficult I eventually left for Canada (Toronto, actually).
I'm not the only person in this situation, by the way. There are a few others, all in the same boat: third world immigrants, poor, belonging to a small group that is exploited in their own countries of origin, and well-educated. The sort of person that's not supposed to exist.
How can I have any romance in my life when it's been like this for twenty years already? No wonder I've never been in a relationship, uh? If they wanted to make my life hard, they have been most successful in the romantic area. What sort of security can someone in my situation offer anyone? And having to move every two or three years is not exactly the way to keep long friendships.
As things stand now, I don't think I'll be staying in Canada for long. I have no idea where to go from here though. Good thing I'm quite good with languages and can learn a new one in a few weeks.
I would have to say my environment-influenced my preference...all my friends at the time and currently were immigrants from europe amd the phillipines ...so after some time when your friends try to "hook" you up ..it was usually someone from that background because the black guys were usually dating the white girls ...i liked it because i learnt a new culture and language and it just became part of me...i have nothing againts black guys
I appreciate your thoughts just to be honest I have also found that white men shy away from my size. I am far from HUGE and well to be frank am not something you need a bag to take me out to the movies.... I believe to be from my experience White men have the what I call it the Barbie syndrome. Well I want to be Sexy and curvy barbie since that is what most women are actually shaped like. white females along with beautiful african American Women do and happen to share simular shapes. African American men along with other races look at women with respect, and see past size. I have found many men any color or races can see past size when it comes to love and true desire. Don't let ignorance rule your life love all and be happy... everyone is entitled to their own tastes.. also....Pamela...
I was lucky, adopted by white parents (of English and Italian descent), and lived in a well-to-do area in La Paz since I was five. I was born in the Ururu region (what the Spanish call Oruro), and it's likely my real parents were killed in the 1970 Native insurrection in that area.
The orphans were adopted all over the country, usually by rich families to grow as house servants (mostly the girls, who would live in "family houses" cooking and cleaning for a bit of food and a place to sleep until they were old enough to get out of there, although the custom of the richer white families was to have their sons se'xually initiated with the pubescent Native girl servants, a custom still current today) or to work in the properties of such families (the boys, who were stronger and good to pick up vegetables and work the land since they were quite young).
I myself was treated almost like a son of the family, a mixed blessing: even though my adoptive parents seemed to care about me, most of the people around me was quite annoyed by the fact that I was supposed to be considered a family member. Our status down there up to the late 70s was that of beasts of burden, not human. As you can imagine, most of the family was not exactly thrilled to have a beast of burden as a member of the family.
It was considered an eccentricity of my father, who died when I was 10 (and whom I rarely saw, since he was always traveling around the country).
I was home-schooled for the most part. Sending me to a school full of white kids would have been an invitation to get me murdered. I only attended to take the exams, and those were very scary occasions.
My adoptive mother died when I was 15, and from that point on I've lived on my own. The rest of the family never bothered to contact me, except to notify me (with the first court papers I had to see in my life) that I had to abandon my parents' house because it was theirs after my mom's death.
I've traveled quite a lot after that. And here I am now, twenty years later and still on my own. But not doing too badly, except for the continuous harrassment from governments, in particular the USA government, who has forced the Canadians to mark me as a 'threat' to the their national security (which means I cannot become a Canadian citizen and I cannot get a Canadian passport, which also means with my Bolivian passport I cannot get out of this continent and I can neither visit the USA nor cross its air space, which means for now I'm trapped in Canada).