First of all, I have to say that you must not work in a building where all the women run to the ladies room clutching their makeup bags to primp 15-30 minutes before the UPS or FedEx guy is scheduled to pick up packages LOL! There isn't a spare inch of mirror space to be had. If you think I'm kidding, just pay attention from now on.
But seriously, I think the "reason" black men choose white women once they attain some measure of success, and the "reason" black women complain about the choices those men make is one and the same. The issue is really of self esteem.
Why didn't the same brother who is now successful choose NOT to approach a white woman when he wasn't successful? Probably because he didn't feel worthy of her. If he felt worthy, then not having money wouldn't have made a bit of difference. Let's face it, most athletes -for example- know they're headed to the pros during their teen years. At least that becomes their goal that early on in life. Why wouldn't he make a choice of a white woman then? His fears of rejection by white women at that stage of life keep him making the "safe" choices - black women who don't reject him.
Now this is where sisters do have a legitimate complaint. They have a right to feel some anger that they were good enough for the brothers during the uncertain or hard times. Now that they're successful, black women are given those men's behind to watch walking out the door.
But I think that if those women had maximized their potential during the hard times and became a force to be reckoned with in their own right, they might have been an asset to the now successful man and been taken along for the new ride. Being actualized gives them value of their own. Most women who settle for just being eye candy usually have self esteem issues. They feel that they can't make it on their own, and therefore "need" that man who has become successful.
There are ...
Hi Deepman,
First of all, I have to say that you must not work in a building where all the women run to the ladies room clutching their makeup bags to primp 15-30 minutes before the UPS or FedEx guy is scheduled to pick up packages LOL! There isn't a spare inch of mirror space to be had. If you think I'm kidding, just pay attention from now on.
But seriously, I think the "reason" black men choose white women once they attain some measure of success, and the "reason" black women complain about the choices those men make is one and the same. The issue is really of self esteem.
Why didn't the same brother who is now successful choose NOT to approach a white woman when he wasn't successful? Probably because he didn't feel worthy of her. If he felt worthy, then not having money wouldn't have made a bit of difference. Let's face it, most athletes -for example- know they're headed to the pros during their teen years. At least that becomes their goal that early on in life. Why wouldn't he make a choice of a white woman then? His fears of rejection by white women at that stage of life keep him making the "safe" choices - black women who don't reject him.
Now this is where sisters do have a legitimate complaint. They have a right to feel some anger that they were good enough for the brothers during the uncertain or hard times. Now that they're successful, black women are given those men's behind to watch walking out the door.
But I think that if those women had maximized their potential during the hard times and became a force to be reckoned with in their own right, they might have been an asset to the now successful man and been taken along for the new ride. Being actualized gives them value of their own. Most women who settle for just being eye candy usually have self esteem issues. They feel that they can't make it on their own, and therefore "need" that man who has become successful.
basically you are telling me that for most of the women in the world they are nothing but wind-up dolls that can be "programmed" because if this guy is correct then the women's lib movement and every other movement meant to help and up lift women was a failure, because they have a button, i understand your point about making the woman feel like she matters and listening to her concerns (plus doing something about them)but that again goes to my point, these are things that have nothing to do with m,f,p, and if people equate that with good charactor then the problem is deeper than you know (phoenixx) the real question was if the women who complain about this are gold diggers, i think they are, (bb1163) thanks sis for your support, i just think and feel that the only time people think something is a problem is when their rice bowl is in danger, then "the sky is falling"
basically you are telling me that
for most of the women in the world they are nothing but wind-up dolls that can be "programmed" because if this guy is correct then the women's lib movement and every other movement meant to help and up lift women was a failure, because they have a button, i understand your point about making the woman feel like she matters and listening to her concerns (plus doing something about them)but that again goes to my point, these are things that have nothing to do with m,f,p, and if people equate that with good charactor then the problem is deeper than you know
(phoenixx) the real question was if the women who complain about this are gold diggers, i think they are, (bb1163) thanks sis for your support, i just think and feel
that the only time people think something is a problem is when their rice bowl is in danger, then "the sky is falling"
Frankly, I'm not even certain what the real question is!
Why is it that once "Black" men acquire financial wealth they then acquire a whyte woman also?
God knows there are plenty of broke folk hookin up in all ethnicities - so that can't be part of the question.
Honestly, if the question is the former point I brought up - it's another one of those pet peeves of mine. In theory, love is not about the colour of a person's skin - but let's face it - that's bull to some extent. I believe anyone should have the right to date whomever they choose regardless of the ethnicity.
But, it offends me to no end when men of colour - specifically Afrikan Amerikan men seek whyte women because of stereotypes in their own minds about whyte women - but moreso the stereotypes often held about Afrikan Amerikan women. They blow me away!
I find that people of different ethnicities & I am primarily speaking of "Black" & whyte - generally seek one another for all sorts of dysfunctional reasons.
The Black men complain about the overpowering Black women & say they don't understand them & blah blah blah (God only knows how the Black woman kept her families together through generations of slavery & oppression in this country - but somehow, now, these triflin men think they are slick talking down about strong Black women. They feed the stereotypes & seek insecure whyte women who will eat it all up & be the perfect token or doormat for their non-sense. God help them all though - because anything that insights the anger or serious frustration & that cool whyte chica is quickly spewing all sorts of ugly out her mouth about Black folk! Words & thoughts that NEVER cross my mind - flow steady from their tongues.
You end up with men who have some deep sense of self-hatred seeking out those whyte women who are attracted to Black men for one of a few select reasons: 1. the myth; 2. rebellion; 3 drama; 4 attention. I could continue my thoughts - but I'm certain ...
Frankly, I'm not even certain what the real question is!
Why is it that once "Black" men acquire financial wealth they then acquire a whyte woman also?
God knows there are plenty of broke folk hookin up in all ethnicities - so that can't be part of the question.
Honestly, if the question is the former point I brought up - it's another one of those pet peeves of mine. In theory, love is not about the colour of a person's skin - but let's face it - that's bull to some extent. I believe anyone should have the right to date whomever they choose regardless of the ethnicity.
But, it offends me to no end when men of colour - specifically Afrikan Amerikan men seek whyte women because of stereotypes in their own minds about whyte women - but moreso the stereotypes often held about Afrikan Amerikan women. They blow me away!
I find that people of different ethnicities & I am primarily speaking of "Black" & whyte - generally seek one another for all sorts of dysfunctional reasons.
The Black men complain about the overpowering Black women & say they don't understand them & blah blah blah (God only knows how the Black woman kept her families together through generations of slavery & oppression in this country - but somehow, now, these triflin men think they are slick talking down about strong Black women. They feed the stereotypes & seek insecure whyte women who will eat it all up & be the perfect token or doormat for their non-sense. God help them all though - because anything that insights the anger or serious frustration & that cool whyte chica is quickly spewing all sorts of ugly out her mouth about Black folk! Words & thoughts that NEVER cross my mind - flow steady from their tongues.
You end up with men who have some deep sense of self-hatred seeking out those whyte women who are attracted to Black men for one of a few select reasons: 1. the myth; 2. rebellion; 3 drama; 4 attention. I could continue my thoughts - but I'm certain ...
Why Women Are Attracted To Things Like Fame, Money And Power
...I say this for a REASON deepthinker. My opinion is that women believe on a genetically and socially programmed, unconscious level that these men are more intelligent, more fun, more interesting, more able to give them the lifestyle-and MOST IMPORTANTLY-give them the FEELINGS that they want.
In his book 'Influence' Robert Cialdini talks about a psychological principle called the 'Halo Effect'. In a nutshell, humans naturally assume that attractive and powerful people are smarter and more trustworthy than average people.
A woman desires a man that fits into her self image fantasies that have been forming since she was very young. And thanks to Disney, these fantasies were imbedded even further than her genetic wiring ever intended.
Overall, the answer is to realize that rich, powerful, famous guys have the advantage at the beginning from their FAMILIARITY and ASSUMED PROJECTED positive traits. But if you can learn to get a woman's attention and then give her the FEELINGS that she's always wanted, she'll treat you like you're famous, rich, and powerful as well.
A tall, handsome man, or a famous rich man 'pushes a button' and triggers certain feelings inside of a woman. If you're not rich, famous, tall and/or super attractive, you have to learn to 'install the button' so that when they see you, then they can have those feelings.
While women are interested in looks to a degree, they are MORE interested in how you make them feel. Even if you don't understand this, you have to believe it and start acting as though it's true.
You must behave as if you confidently believe that you are the best thing for a woman, and that you are going to make her feel wonderful inside.
Women can pick up this particular belief, and they respond to it in a positive way.
Why Women Are Attracted To Things Like Fame, Money And Power
...I say this for a REASON deepthinker.
My opinion is that women believe on a genetically and socially programmed, unconscious level that these men are more intelligent, more fun, more interesting, more able to give them the lifestyle-and MOST IMPORTANTLY-give them the FEELINGS that they want.
In his book 'Influence' Robert Cialdini talks about a psychological principle called the 'Halo Effect'. In a nutshell, humans naturally assume that attractive and powerful people are smarter and more trustworthy than average people.
A woman desires a man that fits into her self image fantasies that have been forming since she was very young. And thanks to Disney, these fantasies were imbedded even further than her genetic wiring ever intended.
Overall, the answer is to realize that rich, powerful, famous guys have the advantage at the beginning from their FAMILIARITY and ASSUMED PROJECTED positive traits. But if you can learn to get a woman's attention and then give her the FEELINGS that she's always wanted, she'll treat you like you're famous, rich, and powerful as well.
A tall, handsome man, or a famous rich man 'pushes a button' and triggers certain feelings inside of a woman. If you're not rich, famous, tall and/or super attractive, you have to learn to 'install the button' so that when they see you, then they can have those feelings.
While women are interested in looks to a degree, they are MORE interested in how you make them feel. Even if you don't understand this, you have to believe it and start acting as though it's true.
You must behave as if you confidently believe that you are the best thing for a woman, and that you are going to make her feel wonderful inside.
Women can pick up this particular belief, and they respond to it in a positive way.
one more thing phea, while it is true that money,power,success will get you women,what kind of woman will you get is the question? also what makes someone "superior" because i have seen some of these women and yes some look hot but most "ain't all that" plus if women want a guy to be with them for "the right reasons" then the plain kind hearted guy who is a solid citizen but without the money should take care of their needs, but he doesn't because (i am going to catch a lot for this,but i need to say it)most of us are telling a big LIE, we talk about all this and that (feelings and souls,ect) yet we are never satified because we want the other side of the hill,then when we get burned all of a sudden now we are looking for "charactor" this is why most relationships end badly, then women say men only want "the sluts" but if you want the guys who have money fame and power how are you any different (remember men can be and are sluts too)the point is if a real relationship is what is wanted then none of this should come in play(money,fame,power) if it does, don't get mad when it all goes away and you are by yourself,just because the nice guy now wants nothing to do with you.
one more thing phea, while it is true that money,power,success will get you women,what kind of woman will you get is the question? also what makes someone
"superior" because i have seen some of these women and yes some look hot but most "ain't all that"
plus if women want a guy to be with them for "the right reasons" then the plain kind hearted guy who is a solid citizen but without the money should take care of their needs, but he doesn't because (i am going to catch a lot for this,but i need to say it)most of us are telling a big LIE, we talk about all this and that (feelings and souls,ect)
yet we are never satified because we want the other side of the hill,then when we get burned all of a sudden now we are looking for "charactor" this is why most relationships end badly, then women say men only want "the sluts" but if you want the guys who have money fame and power how are you any different (remember men can be and are sluts too)the point is if a real relationship is what is wanted then none of this should come in play(money,fame,power) if it does, don't get mad when it all goes away and you are by yourself,just because the nice guy now wants nothing to do with you.
hey summer, you got that right and that's the other part of the story, and you should'nt care what people think so long as you are happy, rump i can always count on you for something thoughtful.
hey summer, you got that right and that's the other part of the story, and you should'nt care what people think so long as you are happy, rump i can always count on you for something thoughtful.
hey girl, i just finished lmao, i love your responses, but you are totally right, check out katt williams and hear what he said about self esteam, the reverse is also true "did you hear kelly lost her job? yeah she was dealing with a black guy and you know they are always late" lol now as to feeling cheated the only person who can feel cheated is the one who was there when you had nothing and then you have something then leave them, which begs the question "before you invest in someone did you do your homework?" what i mean is for every investment there is a point in which you have to know you could lose what you put in, this goes for any relationship, even if nobody makes a million, this rule still applys, so i still feel that it is gold diggers crying because if a woman has her act together and doesn't need a man for his money, why should she care who he is with, her main concern is that whoever she is with treats her correct.
hey girl, i just finished lmao, i love your responses, but you are totally right, check out katt williams and hear what he said about self esteam, the reverse is also true "did you hear kelly lost her job? yeah she was dealing with a black guy and you know they are always late" lol
now as to feeling cheated the only person who can feel cheated is the one who was there when you had nothing and then you have something then leave them, which begs the question "before you invest in someone did you do your homework?" what i mean is for every investment there is a point in which you have to know you could lose what you put in, this goes for any relationship, even if nobody makes a million, this rule still applys, so i still feel that it is gold diggers crying because if a woman has her act together and doesn't need a man for his money, why should she care who he is with, her main concern is that whoever she is with treats her correct.
deepthinker write: why is it that black men can only want white women once they get famous? i heard this on a radio show and the viewers sounded like jerry springer and maury i think it is pure bull s@#$, why? because i have heard this for years, and it kills me that the same women talking about this would NEVER NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER TALK TO a brother who had a job, paid his bills but worked for U.P.S yet always crying about the other brother only because he makes a few million, i think that black women who got their sh@# together really don't care but the ones looking for a payday are the ones crying, let me know what you think?
Interesting topic deepthinker.
I have heard this before. Well...here's my take on it. A successful man is always going to be seen by most women as a worthy catch. Truth is, a man with money, success and power will always attract more women(and SUPERIOR ones at that)than a U.P.S. or FEDEX delivery guy any day of the week. And this is true across the board regardless of race or ethnicity.
There are some black women who feel "cheated" when they see a famous black man dating or married to a white woman(or any woman other than a black woman). Most black women(and people in general)don't come from AFFLUENCE, so many of them(black women) may feel more put off by the preference of the FAMOUS BLACK MALE.
Your assertion that black women who HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER don't care, but I believe that some of them DO care, even if they may not be as outspoken about it as her less successful black sisters.
Re:
deepthinker write: why is it that black men can only want white women once they get famous? i heard this on a radio show and the viewers sounded like jerry springer and maury i think it is pure bull s@#$, why? because i have heard this for years, and it kills me that the same women talking about this would NEVER NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER TALK TO a brother who had a job, paid his bills but worked for U.P.S yet always crying about the other brother only because he makes a few million, i think that black women who got their sh@# together really don't care but the ones looking for a payday are the ones crying, let me know what you think?
Interesting topic deepthinker.
I have heard this before. Well...here's my take on it. A successful man is always going to be seen by most women as a worthy catch. Truth is, a man with money, success and power will always attract more women(and SUPERIOR ones at that)than a U.P.S. or FEDEX delivery guy any day of the week. And this is true across the board regardless of race or ethnicity.
There are some black women who feel "cheated" when they see a famous black man dating or married to a white woman(or any woman other than a black woman). Most black women(and people in general)don't come from AFFLUENCE, so many of them(black women) may feel more put off by the preference of the FAMOUS BLACK MALE.
Your assertion that black women who HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER don't care, but I believe that some of them DO care, even if they may not be as outspoken about it as her less successful black sisters.
I think whatever black guys who do that have low self esteem issues and they think they have to prove something to society. I've always been attracted to non-black guys and really don't care what people feel about it...but I never date outside of my race to prove anything to anyone.
I think whatever black guys who do that have low self esteem issues and they think they have to prove something to society.
I've always been attracted to non-black guys and really don't care what people feel about it...but I never date outside of my race to prove anything to anyone.
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