how does class,money and race determine who dates who? and why if we look for deeper meaning we keep coming back to this as the way we choose who we date??? what are your thoughts............
how does class,money and race determine who dates who? and why if we look for deeper meaning we keep coming back to this as the way we choose who we date??? what are your thoughts............
rumplestilskin2010 write: ]quote[I want to thank everybody for some really wonderful replys, the fact that this topic can be broken down and understood hopefully will help someone who needs it.]quote[
i have not seen the use of the word 'credibility' here... oft times we hear the expression 'he/she is incredible... but in the process of 'sifting for gold' involving class, money, race is it not possible that as musicluva writes: "a woman of color once told me once a Black man becomes successful his chances of dating and marrying interracially increase exponetially.", that it ADDS TO, if not creates CREDIBILITY to enhance, if not creat a better foundation for a relationship...???
Yes Rump, you are so right about this. I was actually planning to address this "other" side of the coin.
When it comes to Love and Romance, there are many Great Pretenders out there, whose main goal seems to be getting whatever they can through deception and other forms of manipulations. Someone who is successful, whether fame is attached to it or not ,adds an extra layer(s) of CREDIBILITY and Enhancements to a more solid FOUNDATION leading to a LTR.
Re:
rumplestilskin2010 write: ]quote[I want to thank everybody for some really wonderful replys, the fact that this topic can be broken down and understood hopefully will help someone who needs it.]quote[
i have not seen the use of the word 'credibility' here... oft times we hear the expression 'he/she is incredible... but in the process of 'sifting for gold' involving class, money, race is it not possible that as musicluva writes: "a woman of color once told me once a Black man becomes successful his chances of dating and marrying interracially increase exponetially.", that it ADDS TO, if not creates CREDIBILITY to enhance, if not creat a better foundation for a relationship...???
Yes Rump, you are so right about this. I was actually planning to address this "other" side of the coin.
When it comes to Love and Romance, there are many Great Pretenders out there, whose main goal seems to be getting whatever they can through deception and other forms of manipulations. Someone who is successful, whether fame is attached to it or not ,adds an extra layer(s) of CREDIBILITY and Enhancements to a more solid FOUNDATION leading to a LTR.
]quote[I want to thank everybody for some really wonderful replys, the fact that this topic can be broken down and understood hopefully will help someone who needs it.]quote[
i have not seen the use of the word 'credibility' here... oft times we hear the expression 'he/she is incredible... but in the process of 'sifting for gold' involving class, money, race is it not possible that as musicluva writes: "a woman of color once told me once a Black man becomes successful his chances of dating and marrying interracially increase exponetially.", that it ADDS TO, if not creates CREDIBILITY to enhance, if not creat a better foundation for a relationship...???
]quote[I want to thank everybody for some really wonderful replys, the fact that this topic can be broken down and understood hopefully will help someone who needs it.]quote[
i have not seen the use of the word 'credibility' here... oft times we hear the expression 'he/she is incredible... but in the process of 'sifting for gold' involving class, money, race is it not possible that as musicluva writes: "a woman of color once told me once a Black man becomes successful his chances of dating and marrying interracially increase exponetially.", that it ADDS TO, if not creates CREDIBILITY to enhance, if not creat a better foundation for a relationship...???
In response to the post from "Nice Blk Male" please ignore my checking your profile, the only male profile I read on this site. That said I was prompted by the words in search of a thought you wrote in response to the provocative question posed by 'deepthinker.' Please if you have not done so already do take some time to rescue your image with a new post. I am willing to help should you need assistance.
In response to the post from "Nice Blk Male" please ignore my checking your profile, the only male profile I read on this site. That said I was prompted by the words in search of a thought you wrote in response to the provocative question posed by 'deepthinker.' Please if you have not done so already do take some time to rescue your image with a new post. I am willing to help should you need assistance.
I want to thank everybody for some really wonderful replys, the fact that this topic can be broken down and understood hopefully will help someone who needs it.
I want to thank everybody for some really wonderful replys, the fact that this topic can be broken down and understood hopefully will help someone who needs it.
musicluva writes: a woman of color once told me once a Black man becomes successful his chances of dating and marrying interracially increase exponetially. She pointed out athletes in particular and added entertainers. I personally feel class, money and race may indicate compatibillity but it does not tell whole story. I have dated interracially since high school and know some woman were not interested in me because of the factors mentioned because I think it may be more important to them. Men as a whole really could care less about subject factors if they are attracted to the woman...case in point Tiger Woods married a nanny...I guess men seek beautiful woman who they are attracted to a women seek out successful men who they find some attraction.
Yes, musicluver, there is more than a grain of truth to the woman's observations.
Once a Black man(or any man for that matter)becomes successful or famous in life, he will attract far more women(and superior ones at that) than if he were a Fedex delivery guy. Not that there is anything wrong with being a delivery guy, but women by and large, see famously successful men differently.
Let's look at the rapper/hip hop artist called JAY-Z. The guy looks like JOE CAMEL(hey, he's not the most handsome man in the world), and yet Beyonce, who already has more than enough wealth and fame, is(or was)interested in him. Huh?!
Why is that? Well, although Beyonce is rich and famous, Jay-Z is even richer. Do ya think Beyonce would spend her time with a guy who works at the local Walmart store? Nah...don't think so!
Class, race, and money may point to some amount of compatibility, since "water seeks its own level," but to another extent, we're mostly programmed to respond to these things in very predicatable ways. For lack of a better term, let's call it Social Conditioning.
I've been putting it off, but I'll continue my little series on this blog which explains the inner workings of these things(class, money, race)and how the media is instrumental in reinforcing our thoughts and beliefs on this matter.
Tiger Woods may have married a nanny, but being a beautiful Swedish blond probably increased her chances of becoming Mrs. Tiger Woods. **LOL**
musicluva writes: a woman of color once told me once a Black man becomes successful his chances of dating and marrying interracially increase exponetially. She pointed out athletes in particular and added entertainers. I personally feel class, money and race may indicate compatibillity but it does not tell whole story. I have dated interracially since high school and know some woman were not interested in me because of the factors mentioned because I think it may be more important to them. Men as a whole really could care less about subject factors if they are attracted to the woman...case in point Tiger Woods married a nanny...I guess men seek beautiful woman who they are attracted to a women seek out successful men who they find some attraction.
Yes, musicluver, there is more than a grain of truth to the woman's observations.
Once a Black man(or any man for that matter)becomes successful or famous in life, he will attract far more women(and superior ones at that) than if he were a Fedex delivery guy. Not that there is anything wrong with being a delivery guy, but women by and large, see famously successful men differently.
Let's look at the rapper/hip hop artist called JAY-Z. The guy looks like JOE CAMEL(hey, he's not the most handsome man in the world), and yet Beyonce, who already has more than enough wealth and fame, is(or was)interested in him. Huh?!
Why is that? Well, although Beyonce is rich and famous, Jay-Z is even richer. Do ya think Beyonce would spend her time with a guy who works at the local Walmart store? Nah...don't think so!
Class, race, and money may point to some amount of compatibility, since "water seeks its own level," but to another extent, we're mostly programmed to respond to these things in very predicatable ways. For lack of a better term, let's call it Social Conditioning.
I've been putting it off, but I'll continue my little series on this blog which explains the inner workings of these things(class, money, race)and how the media is instrumental in reinforcing our thoughts and beliefs on this matter.
Tiger Woods may have married a nanny, but being a beautiful Swedish blond probably increased her chances of becoming Mrs. Tiger Woods. **LOL**
angelaforyou writes: Deep, I want to support your point. People who follow the system without questioning if it is good or bad are crowd and they are easy to control. Evolution of mankind and society would not be possible without individuals who dare to struggle against the rules. ################################################################################
How very true Olga, however, most people in our societies are programmed to follow the "system," and that is precisely what most of them do. Yes, we have the deviants and iconoclasts who have made a(usually) conscious decision to march to the beat of their own drums, but they are a minority among the larger groups of followers(of the social order).
Again, the Social System is a tough shell for most people to break away from, and it is the same system(imbedded in race, class and money) that is often used to determine who dates/marries who.
I'll probably expand on this topic in a few days.
angelaforyou writes: Deep, I want to support your point. People who follow the system without questioning if it is good or bad are crowd and they are easy to control. Evolution of mankind and society would not be possible without individuals who dare to struggle against the rules. ################################################################################
How very true Olga, however, most people in our societies are programmed to follow the "system," and that is precisely what most of them do. Yes, we have the deviants and iconoclasts who have made a(usually) conscious decision to march to the beat of their own drums, but they are a minority among the larger groups of followers(of the social order).
Again, the Social System is a tough shell for most people to break away from, and it is the same system(imbedded in race, class and money) that is often used to determine who dates/marries who.
to phea and angela thank you for understanding what i am really saying, to vicky while i respect your views and what you have to say, you do realise that you have made my point on this matter..... to book, dude while i get what you are saying, phea is right as well,plus stop looking at people with no substance it's better for you, that way you don't waste your time.
to phea and angela thank you for understanding what i am really saying, to vicky while i respect your views and what you have to say, you do realise that you have made my point on this matter..... to book, dude while i get what you are saying, phea is right as well,plus stop looking at people with no substance it's better for you, that way you don't waste your time.
Money and class often translate into ambition, education and intellect. These factors have a great bearing on compatability and mutual chemistry ... probably more so for women than for men. Social class is something that, in America, can always be changed ... if you have the ability and the drive then you can still be and do anything in this country. The most beautiful thing about our society is the fact that "education" still is the great equalizer (and with education and even a modest amount of ambition usually comes some money.) As a result, any man who is my intellectual equal, or preferably better, should have attained at least my level of education and make decent money by the time he has reached his 40s. If he hasn't then we are just not going to be compatable. Although I do want to be respected by my man I am just not into the dominance thing ... I want a man who can outdo me and teach me a thing or two :-) Honestly, I have never met a pleasant, well-adjusted, heterosexual female who wanted to be dominant over man, to be smarter than him, to be better educated, much less to be stronger than him either mentally or physically. Most women really do still want the man to be the man ...
Money and class often translate into ambition, education and intellect. These factors have a great bearing on compatability and mutual chemistry ... probably more so for women than for men. Social class is something that, in America, can always be changed ... if you have the ability and the drive then you can still be and do anything in this country. The most beautiful thing about our society is the fact that "education" still is the great equalizer (and with education and even a modest amount of ambition usually comes some money.) As a result, any man who is my intellectual equal, or preferably better, should have attained at least my level of education and make decent money by the time he has reached his 40s. If he hasn't then we are just not going to be compatable. Although I do want to be respected by my man I am just not into the dominance thing ... I want a man who can outdo me and teach me a thing or two :-) Honestly, I have never met a pleasant, well-adjusted, heterosexual female who wanted to be dominant over man, to be smarter than him, to be better educated, much less to be stronger than him either mentally or physically. Most women really do still want the man to be the man ...
Deep, I want to support your point. People who follow the system without questioning if it is good or bad are crowd and they are easy to control. Evolution of mankind and society would not be possible without individuals who dare to struggle against the rules. Most of us just follow the crowd like ships... Someone has to stand out and at least look around and check if we are going in the right direction... Most people in Germany followed Hitler, and most people in Russia followed Lenin and Stalin... Just thinking too... :-)
Deep, I want to support your point. People who follow the system without questioning if it is good or bad are crowd and they are easy to control. Evolution of mankind and society would not be possible without individuals who dare to struggle against the rules. Most of us just follow the crowd like ships... Someone has to stand out and at least look around and check if we are going in the right direction... Most people in Germany followed Hitler, and most people in Russia followed Lenin and Stalin... Just thinking too... :-)
I was out with a friend of mine. The one who actually got me on this website. We were at the St. Louis Zoo, doing a little people watching. My friend is hilarious sometimes. I'd say, "That one is kinda cute." Alisa would say something like, "Not that one, she's too high maintenance."
Let's face it, if your income won't support a high maintenance woman, then you shouldn't bother to ask one out.
High maintenance can mean more than financially supporting someone. There are times when high maintenance people can be demanding of your time and your patience. They are often not worth the time that all too frequently is bestowed on them, much less the money and attention. But this may be a topic for another forum thread or blog post.
Re:
Booklover73 write: Well, money always figures in.
I was out with a friend of mine. The one who actually got me on this website. We were at the St. Louis Zoo, doing a little people watching. My friend is hilarious sometimes. I'd say, "That one is kinda cute." Alisa would say something like, "Not that one, she's too high maintenance."
Let's face it, if your income won't support a high maintenance woman, then you shouldn't bother to ask one out.
High maintenance can mean more than financially supporting someone. There are times when high maintenance people can be demanding of your time and your patience. They are often not worth the time that all too frequently is bestowed on them, much less the money and attention. But this may be a topic for another forum thread or blog post.
deepthinker write: phea once again i see where you are coming from, but while i understand i can't help but feel very sorry for anyone who doesn't know how to choose their own path in life, i know that most people will follow a system because it is alot easier than living a life worth living,(freedom and free thinking scares the out of some) i don't agree with anything that says i have to conform to anybodies else's standard to be accepted. if this means i'll be an outcast then so be it, i would rather die free than live in slavery.
Well deep, this makes you a part of the minority of folks who doesn't give a darn what other people think of him, however, most people are not like you. They have conformed to the WORLD SYSTEM, and much of it is unconscious, much like any habitual thoughts and actions.
Just imagine the large number of people who are living their lives doing everything that is expected of them, to be accepted within various circles, and also imagine reaching the end of your life while realizing that all you did was pass through life instead of truly LIVING it. Hmmm...I'm just thinking out loud.
Re:
deepthinker write: phea once again i see where you are coming from, but while i understand i can't help but feel very sorry for anyone who doesn't know how to choose their own path in life, i know that most people will follow a system because it is alot easier than living a life worth living,(freedom and free thinking scares the out of some) i don't agree with anything that says i have to conform to anybodies else's standard to be accepted. if this means i'll be an outcast then so be it, i would rather die free than live in slavery.
Well deep, this makes you a part of the minority of folks who doesn't give a darn what other people think of him, however, most people are not like you. They have conformed to the WORLD SYSTEM, and much of it is unconscious, much like any habitual thoughts and actions.
Just imagine the large number of people who are living their lives doing everything that is expected of them, to be accepted within various circles, and also imagine reaching the end of your life while realizing that all you did was pass through life instead of truly LIVING it. Hmmm...I'm just thinking out loud.
phea once again i see where you are coming from, but while i understand i can't help but feel very sorry for anyone who doesn't know how to choose their own path in life, i know that most people will follow a system because it is alot easier than living a life worth living,(freedom and free thinking scares the shit out of some) i don't agree with anything that says i have to conform to anybodies else's standard to be accepted. if this means i'll be an outcast then so be it, i would rather die free than live in slavery.
phea once again i see where you are coming from, but while i understand i can't help but feel very sorry for anyone who doesn't know how to choose their own path in life, i know that most people will follow a system because it is alot easier than living a life worth living,(freedom and free thinking scares the shit out of some) i don't agree with anything that says i have to conform to anybodies else's standard to be accepted. if this means i'll be an outcast then so be it, i would rather die free than live in slavery.
I was out with a friend of mine. The one who actually got me on this website. We were at the St. Louis Zoo, doing a little people watching. My friend is hilarious sometimes. I'd say, "That one is kinda cute." Alisa would say something like, "Not that one, she's too high maintenance."
Let's face it, if your income won't support a high maintenance woman, then you shouldn't bother to ask one out.
Well, money always figures in.
I was out with a friend of mine. The one who actually got me on this website. We were at the St. Louis Zoo, doing a little people watching. My friend is hilarious sometimes. I'd say, "That one is kinda cute." Alisa would say something like, "Not that one, she's too high maintenance."
Let's face it, if your income won't support a high maintenance woman, then you shouldn't bother to ask one out.
So, our environment does play a role in both our beliefs and our values, and it starts in the formative(at birth) years at home. If you grew up in a traditional family, your parents played the largest role in the early "programming" of your(original) beliefs and values. The values they were taught are essentially the same ones they passed on to you(e.g., what to do and what not to do.), and this was reinforced with rewards and punishments. If you did or said as they told you(good boy/girl), you were praised or rewarded, but if you defied them( their beliefs and values), you were punished, which took the form of getting yelled at, or spanked or getting deprived of something that you enjoyed having or doing. In fact, most of the values that we have accepted have been programmed into us through the reward-punishment method.
When we become adults and our environments change, we often adopt another set of values through co-workers and peer groups. In order to get accepted in the work place, we often make alterations on our values(or blend them) in order to fit in, and get accepted. For instance, being a TEAM PLAYER at work makes it easier to blend with the group, thus placing you in a better position to get your rewards(e.g., salary increase, promotions, bonuses, etc.). But if you refuse to be the TEAM PLAYER, you may get shut out of the inner circle, or even worse--terminated from your job(punishment). In order to win the respect and approval of our superiors at work, it is often necessary to adopt some of their beliefs as well as their core values. Why? Because people tend to like other people who are like them--sharing a similar system of beliefs and values.
The media, and particularly television, is a powerful influence when it comes to creating value/belief messages to the largest number of people, which can also affect our behavior as well.
To Be Continued.
Value Systems (Continued)
So, our environment does play a role in both our beliefs and our values, and it starts in the formative(at birth) years at home. If you grew up in a traditional family, your parents played the largest role in the early "programming" of your(original) beliefs and values. The values they were taught are essentially the same ones they passed on to you(e.g., what to do and what not to do.), and this was reinforced with rewards and punishments. If you did or said as they told you(good boy/girl), you were praised or rewarded, but if you defied them( their beliefs and values), you were punished, which took the form of getting yelled at, or spanked or getting deprived of something that you enjoyed having or doing. In fact, most of the values that we have accepted have been programmed into us through the reward-punishment method.
When we become adults and our environments change, we often adopt another set of values through co-workers and peer groups. In order to get accepted in the work place, we often make alterations on our values(or blend them) in order to fit in, and get accepted. For instance, being a TEAM PLAYER at work makes it easier to blend with the group, thus placing you in a better position to get your rewards(e.g., salary increase, promotions, bonuses, etc.). But if you refuse to be the TEAM PLAYER, you may get shut out of the inner circle, or even worse--terminated from your job(punishment). In order to win the respect and approval of our superiors at work, it is often necessary to adopt some of their beliefs as well as their core values. Why? Because people tend to like other people who are like them--sharing a similar system of beliefs and values.
The media, and particularly television, is a powerful influence when it comes to creating value/belief messages to the largest number of people, which can also affect our behavior as well.
Do you have any personal beliefs? Of course, we all do. But where did they come from? Family members and friends? Or from radio and television? Religious leaders in your community? Regardless of where they came from, we all have them(beliefs), and they affect how we view virtually every aspect of our lives.
Let's talk about Money. What are your beliefs about money? How do you feel about a lot of money? Chances are, the way you feel about money represents your belief system concerning it.
T. Harve Eker, in his book, SECRETS of the MILLIONAIRE MIND, believes(as I do)that when it comes to money, we all have a money blueprint, which is simply a pre-wired inner program which governs the amount of money we feel comfortable having, and the amount of money that we feel comfortable with is a reflection of our beliefs concerning it.
Of course, our beliefs come in hierarchies, with some being more important than others.
Life comes with boundaries or RULES which helps to serve us in some ways and keeps us in check in other ways. I am referring to that critical element called VALUES. But what are values? Values are our own personal, and individual beliefs about what is important to us. They are our belief systems about good or bad, right or wrong. For us to feel complete or whole, we need some form of Value System. They determine what you'll pursue, or move away from. They govern our entire life-style. They also govern your reaction to sudden life experiences and changes.
From what you wear and drive, to where you live, whom you marry, or how you raise your children, to what you choose to do for a living is all related to your values. They are the ultimate way to predict and forecast human behaviors.
(To be Continued)
Our Belief Systems(Continued)
Do you have any personal beliefs? Of course, we all do. But where did they come from? Family members and friends? Or from radio and television? Religious leaders in your community? Regardless of where they came from, we all have them(beliefs), and they affect how we view virtually every aspect of our lives.
Let's talk about Money. What are your beliefs about money? How do you feel about a lot of money? Chances are, the way you feel about money represents your belief system concerning it.
T. Harve Eker, in his book, SECRETS of the MILLIONAIRE MIND, believes(as I do)that when it comes to money, we all have a money blueprint, which is simply a pre-wired inner program which governs the amount of money we feel comfortable having, and the amount of money that we feel comfortable with is a reflection of our beliefs concerning it.
Of course, our beliefs come in hierarchies, with some being more important than others.
Life comes with boundaries or RULES which helps to serve us in some ways and keeps us in check in other ways. I am referring to that critical element called VALUES. But what are values? Values are our own personal, and individual beliefs about what is important to us. They are our belief systems about good or bad, right or wrong. For us to feel complete or whole, we need some form of Value System. They determine what you'll pursue, or move away from. They govern our entire life-style. They also govern your reaction to sudden life experiences and changes.
From what you wear and drive, to where you live, whom you marry, or how you raise your children, to what you choose to do for a living is all related to your values. They are the ultimate way to predict and forecast human behaviors.
This post is a continuation of Race, Class and Money, and how it affects who we are.
Our Belief Systems(Continued)
What we believe about the various aspects of our lives, and ourselves will ultimately shape our reality, whether the beliefs are true or not.
Most of what we learned growing up was acquired by following the examples of other people(e.g., family members and friends.), in other words, MODELING.
As I mentioned in the last post, our Environment helps to form what we believe.
The second source comes from life events(great or small). For example, can you think of an event in your past that made you feel joyful? What about your saddest or joyless experience? How did that change your outlook on life? Or did it?
My beliefs concerning what was possible in life occured before I reached my teens, when my teachers told my parents that normal school work was not challenging enough for me, and I needed to skip some grades for more challenging work.
It changed again(later in life)when I discovered that working a job isn't necessarily the best way to earn money.
Some people have had a loved one pass away which was a catalyst to help shape their beliefs. Our life experiences vary widely.
The third way to foster a belief pattern is through Knowledge. Knowledge can come from any number of avenues: reading, television, films, travelling, viewing the world as it is presented by others. Knowledge can be a great way to level what might otherwise be an unlevel playing field.
A fourth way that our beliefs are fostered is through past results. If your past experience with math has been poor, your belief about math might be the usual, "I'm not good at math." But had you succeeded the first time, your belief(about math) would probably be a lot different.
To be Continued
This post is a continuation of Race, Class and Money, and how it affects who we are.
Our Belief Systems(Continued)
What we believe about the various aspects of our lives, and ourselves will ultimately shape our reality, whether the beliefs are true or not.
Most of what we learned growing up was acquired by following the examples of other people(e.g., family members and friends.), in other words, MODELING.
As I mentioned in the last post, our Environment helps to form what we believe.
The second source comes from life events(great or small). For example, can you think of an event in your past that made you feel joyful? What about your saddest or joyless experience? How did that change your outlook on life? Or did it?
My beliefs concerning what was possible in life occured before I reached my teens, when my teachers told my parents that normal school work was not challenging enough for me, and I needed to skip some grades for more challenging work.
It changed again(later in life)when I discovered that working a job isn't necessarily the best way to earn money.
Some people have had a loved one pass away which was a catalyst to help shape their beliefs. Our life experiences vary widely.
The third way to foster a belief pattern is through Knowledge. Knowledge can come from any number of avenues: reading, television, films, travelling, viewing the world as it is presented by others. Knowledge can be a great way to level what might otherwise be an unlevel playing field.
A fourth way that our beliefs are fostered is through past results. If your past experience with math has been poor, your belief about math might be the usual, "I'm not good at math." But had you succeeded the first time, your belief(about math) would probably be a lot different.
Build your Interracial dating site / Affiliate
English
Deutsch
